Bleeding Love: Stupid Questions
Title: Bleeding Love: Stupid Questions
Chapter: 2 (of 3)
Pairing: Jinyoung/Jaebum, Jinyoung/Mark
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 1588
[It’s quite honestly probably the best two weeks of his life, if he can just ignore one tiny tiny thing: Jinyoung already has a boyfriend and it’s not him.]It’s five months since they started dating, when Mark and Jinyoung try to set him up on a blind date.
He’s offended, insulted and indignant all rolled into one very annoyed Jaebum-shaped package.
“I can get my own dates thankyouverymuch.”
Mark and Jinyoung share a look, and it only serves to piss him off further.
“He’s a really nice guy, Jaebum. He’s a year younger than you, but I think you’ll have a lot in common because he’s a dance major. He’s really good too, he’s already won several competitions.”
“I met him hyung. He’s super hot and really sweet, he makes friends with everyone he meets,” Jinyoung says, trying to build up the mystery man’s qualities.
It doesn’t matter what they say though, because he wants no part of it.
“If he’s so great, why don’t one of you date him?”
“I would,” Jinyoung replies with a quick grin, which earns him a not-so-playful shove by Mark, so he continues, “but as you can see,” and slings an arm around his pouting boyfriend, “I’m kind of attached.”
Yeah, it’s not something he can forget.
“Jinyoung, I’m not interested.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not, and that’s all you need to know.”
“Fine, then.” Jinyoung’s earlier smile fades into a frown, because he really doesn’t get why Jaebum is being such a stubborn ass. “I just didn’t want you to feel like a third wheel. Wouldn’t it be nice to double date?”
Third wheel? Maybe it’s true he feels that way at times (ie most of the time) but he’s worked hard to never let it show. At least, he thinks he did.
Now that Jinyoung’s made the comment, he has to wonder do they feel that way about him? Do they hate him coming along to their movie outings, to bowl, to eat? He’s a big boy, they didn’t have to invite him. It’s not like he would cry if he got left home alone. Do they feel like he’s some pathetic loser, or worse, feel sorry for him? Those particular thoughts push him over the edge, so when he speaks again he lets his anger bleed through his tone.
“If you didn’t want me along, grow up and just fucking say it. Don’t start trying to set me up with someone to get rid of me.”
“Hyung, that’s not-” Jinyoung gets up to try and stop Jaebum from leaving, but it’s too late, he’s already halfway to his room.
Thirty minutes pass before he hears their front door open and close, and then a few minutes later, a soft knock outside his door.
“Are you awake? Can we talk hyung?”
He ignores it and ignores the slight twinge of guilt he feels for snapping at Jinyoung earlier. He rather hold onto the mad for a little while longer though, so when Jinyoung knocks again, he pretends to be asleep.
For the next week and a half, every time Jinyoung and Mark invite him somewhere, he says no thank you politely and creates an excuse why he can’t go. The first couple of times, they protest (Jinyoung’s face falling each time), trying to get him to change his mind and telling him that they really want him to come, but he’s stuck on being stubborn. After that, they ask once, he turns them down, and they leave.
He knows this is what he needs to get use to, that this is the new normal.
But then something strange happens. Over the next two weeks, he barely sees Mark (only once actually) and Jinyoung never once leaves their apartment except to attend classes. Instead Jinyoung chooses to stay in with him.
They study together, they play video games, Jinyoung tries again (and without much success) to teach him how to bake. One weekend they don’t even bother showering and opt to stay in comfy gym clothes, marathoning and watching all eight movies of Harry Potter.
He’s pretty sure Jinyoung would have gladly given up the full music scholarship he received to NYU, if that meant attending the famed (but fictional) Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He thinks it’s cute how much Jinyoung seems to be fascinated by the series and can even repeat parts of the movie dialogue word-for-word. (Not that Jaebum’s busy watching Jinyoung instead of the TV in front of him or anything.)
It’s quite honestly probably the best two weeks of his life, if he can just ignore one tiny tiny thing: Jinyoung already has a boyfriend and it’s not him.
He’s heading toward Jinyoung’s room to see if he wants to order Mexican takeout for dinner when he hears the last few seconds of his phone call.
“Are you mad at me?” Silence and then, “Okay, yeah… no, I get it… bye.”
He returns to the living room and waits on the couch, setting the TV to mute, as he flips through the channels. He chooses a cooking show because he knows Jinyoung likes them, but keeps the volume lowered.
“Mark?” he asks, when Jinyoung enters the room a few minutes later. He kind of hates himself for asking.
“Huh? Oh, yeah.” He nods, looking every bit upset but trying to hide it.
“What’s wrong?”
He’s screaming at himself to stop asking questions, that if only he shut up, he could maybe, just maybe, have Jinyoung to himself. But he can’t because this is Jinyoung and Jinyoung is hurting (he can clearly see it, he’s not blind) and fuck it, he’s really going to do the whole supportive best friend thing, right? Even if it means crushing his heart more?
He takes another, longer look at Jinyoung, and yeah, yeah he’s totally going to.
He’s an idiot.
Hammer, nail: meet heart.
Jinyoung finally answers. “He asked me to go to some party and I said no.” He shrugs, like he doesn’t really care. And he doesn’t care about the party, he cares about Mark being upset with him.
“Why aren’t you going? Why have you been staying home so much?” He asks the question he’s intentionally ignored for two weeks.
“I didn’t want to go.”
“Jinyoung, don’t give me that,” Jaebum says, unwilling to accept the weak excuse. He knows there’s more to it than Jinyoung’s revealing.
“Will you go?” Jinyoung counters, surprising him with the reversal.
“I wasn’t invited.”
“If I invited you, would you go?”
He thinks back to the third wheel comment. “No, I wouldn’t.”
“Exactly,” Jinyoung says and crosses his arms in front of his chest, as if that explains everything perfectly.
And it kind of does.
“Wait, what? Are you seriously telling me you aren’t going to the party, that you’ve practically become a hermit these last couple of weeks, all because I said no to coming with you guys?”
“Maybe.” With a stern look from Jaebum to tell the truth, he amends his answer. “Yes, yes. Are you happy now?”
And it’s odd because he is, if he is truthful, that’s his first immediate gut reaction. But he also feels like the lowest of the low and the world’s shittiest friend at the exact same time. Give him a gold star.
“What was I supposed to do, huh?” Jinyoung questions, coming to take a seat on the sofa. “You kept refusing to come out. Yes Mark’s my boyfriend, and I love him. I know he’s upset, but I can’t seem to make things better lately… and even though I feel like if this keeps up between us, I’m going to end up losing him… it hurts… but hyung, you’re my best friend,” Jinyoung says, his words spilling forth into a jumbled mess. “I couldn’t keep going out, knowing you were here by yourself and you weren’t happy with me either. It didn’t feel right.”
“It will be okay,” Jaebum promises. And because it’s true and he’s not sure what else to say, he adds, “You’ll always be my best friend too.”
They’re sitting side-by-side now on the sofa they rescued from the roadside two years ago. Jinyoung’s head is resting on Jaebum’s shoulder, and every now and then, noises filter in from the hallway, people overexcited for some reason or another, while the TV in front of them remains muted.
It’s quiet, peaceful, and bittersweet.
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, trying to set you up on that blind date,” Jinyoung murmurs softly sometime later. “I just wanted you to find someone so you could be as happy as I am. I never once thought of you as a third wheel, I just didn’t want you to feel that way. You know I love you, right?”
“I know.” And he does know, and because of that, he knows what he needs to do next.
They don’t end up going to the party that night, but two days later, he calls Mark over and as soon as the older boy arrives, he starts to usher him out while pulling Jinyoung along with him.
Jinyoung’s a little taken aback at seeing Mark, but instead of asking why he’s there, he chooses to look at Jaebum. “Where are we going?”
“I just got here, and you’re kicking me out? You invited me,” Mark says, almost at the same time. He’s uncertain why he got called over in the first place and he’s feeling awkward since he and Jinyoung hadn’t been getting along lately.
“I’m not kicking you out, we’re all going to eat,” he says, placing extra emphasis on the ‘all’. “My treat!”
__________
I’ve read through this so much I’ve lost count, changing a few words here and there/shifting around phrases and sentences/editing and shortening. For anyone who writes, do you ever feel that way when proofreading your stories? It’s like you’re so close to the words you’ve written, and try as you might to step back and look at things objectively, it’s almost kind of nearly impossible?
Anyway. I really do love to hear what you think…. comments and constructive criticism are always welcomed.
Ch3