well, well, well
look what we've got here.
a journal that hasn't been touched in two years.
what silly entries i wrote. so much angst then.
anyways,
i've been distracted. My mind is cluttered, but i am happy.
i recently broke off a 4 year relationship and i'm a bit disappointed in my reaction.
only because i was expecting depression...but instead i feel as if i'm freed from an unhealthy cycle.
i feel like i'm in a new body.
in a better skin.
i like to take morning walks for coffee when everyone is still asleep.
i've been waking with the sun.
Also living in the eastend takes me back to my purest memories.
i used to wake up every morning and find her head resting on my shoulder. something new to me then.
i remember feeling her kisses in my sleep, but i was usually too spent to react. she'd ask me if i was too tired, and i'd always say, "no". Give her a kiss and then pass out.
I was a terrible liar.
but for some reason she always ended up back in my arms the next morning.
2 years ago wasn't so long ago.
it's amazing how fast things change.
especially people.
all i can really say right now is that i feel very different.
i've been finding myself fascinated by many woman.
especially one very particular lady whom i find extremely attractive,
and unfortunately i have the raging hormones of a 12 year old boy.
it's just strange for me to feel and think that way because during a 4 year relationship i was just focused on one person.
i couldn't even think of acting out on someone else then.
Being out of a relationship and getting to feel actual attraction towards someone else for me is such a strange and beautiful sensation.
and receiving it back feels even better.
a journal that hasn't been touched in two years.
what silly entries i wrote. so much angst then.
anyways,
i've been distracted. My mind is cluttered, but i am happy.
i recently broke off a 4 year relationship and i'm a bit disappointed in my reaction.
only because i was expecting depression...but instead i feel as if i'm freed from an unhealthy cycle.
i feel like i'm in a new body.
in a better skin.
i like to take morning walks for coffee when everyone is still asleep.
i've been waking with the sun.
Also living in the eastend takes me back to my purest memories.
i used to wake up every morning and find her head resting on my shoulder. something new to me then.
i remember feeling her kisses in my sleep, but i was usually too spent to react. she'd ask me if i was too tired, and i'd always say, "no". Give her a kiss and then pass out.
I was a terrible liar.
but for some reason she always ended up back in my arms the next morning.
2 years ago wasn't so long ago.
it's amazing how fast things change.
especially people.
all i can really say right now is that i feel very different.
i've been finding myself fascinated by many woman.
especially one very particular lady whom i find extremely attractive,
and unfortunately i have the raging hormones of a 12 year old boy.
it's just strange for me to feel and think that way because during a 4 year relationship i was just focused on one person.
i couldn't even think of acting out on someone else then.
Being out of a relationship and getting to feel actual attraction towards someone else for me is such a strange and beautiful sensation.
and receiving it back feels even better.