Fic: Fractured Hearts
Title/Chapter: Fractured Hearts (03/?)
Author: Amanda / writefiction
Pairing: Taylor Hanson / OFC (Libby Hanson)
Rating: PG-13
Notes: written for the Don’t Judge a Book… challenge
Other Notes: AU, no Natalie or kids had with her
Warning: past rape.
Word Count: 2,053
Master Post
Summary: Libby and Taylor Hanson have only a year left with their two year old daughter, Lily, who was diagnosed with a fatal cancer. When she finally succumbs to her illness the couple is heartbroken and their marriage begins to fall apart at the seams. Will they be able to fix their fractured hearts, or will they be destined for divorce?
CHAPTER THREE
When he got to his parents’ house, Taylor slumped back against the front door and slid to the floor, head in his hands. He sat there until he heard footsteps coming down the stairs in front of him. They paused on the bottom step and then Taylor heard, “Tay? Sweetie, what are you doing here?”
It was his mother. Taylor looked up at her with a weak smile. “Hey, Ma,” he said.
“Sweetie?” Diana Hanson asked again as she knelt down beside her second eldest child and placed a hand on his knee.
Taylor’s eyes filled with tears and they flowed down his cheeks unchecked. “My marriage is falling apart,” he whispered.
“Oh, honey,” Diana murmured and pulled her son to her chest, hugging him tightly. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.” Taylor proceeded to tell her all about how today had gone; from the fighting and accusations to going to Zac’s and going back home only to leave again and wind up on the floor of his mother’s foyer.
Diana sighed and gently ran her hand through Taylor’s hair. “My poor baby,” she murmured quietly. “I’m sorry you’re having such an awful day.” She kissed his head lightly.
“It’s not just an awful day,” Taylor replied. “We’ve been fighting non-stop since Lily passed and it just keeps getting worse. I don’t know what to do, Ma.”
“Take a break from life,” Diana told him. “Take a break from all the fighting and stay with us. Maybe it’ll help put things into perspective. Or maybe you two should try counseling.”
“You mean a shrink?” Taylor asked.
Diana nodded. “Yes. Therapy can be quite helpful when you lose a loved one. And I imagine it would be even more helpful in your situation.”
“How do you know this?”
“Because, when your grandmother died I went to counseling.”
“You did?” Taylor looked at his mother in surprise.
She bobbed her head in affirmation. “Yes. You were so little then, I don’t know if you remember how awful it was for me.”
“Yeah, I remember,” Taylor said looking down at his hands. “You wouldn’t stop crying.”
“Yeah… it was harder than you can imagine. But it was her time to go. I can only figure that it’s ten times worse for you and Libby because Lily was just a baby and babies should never die,” Diana murmured. “If counseling could help me, I imagine it’ll be good for you and Libby. Take tonight to think it over and maybe tomorrow you could ask Libby to come over and the three of us could talk about it.”
Taylor sighed. “Yeah, okay, I guess.”
Diana kissed her son’s head. “Now why don’t you go upstairs to your old room and get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay. Goodnight, Mama. I love you.”
“Love you, too, Sweetheart.”
Then Taylor climbed to his feet and helped his mother to hers. He gave her a tight hug before slowly making his way upstairs to his childhood bedroom to sleep the night away.
# # #
The next afternoon when Taylor called Libby, she agreed to come to his parents’ house for a chat. Taylor was nervous as he waited. The one time therapy had ever been mentioned the entire time he’d known Libby was when she had told him that she’d gone to therapy in the past and it had been a disaster. She had gotten so upset thinking about it, that she hadn’t elaborated any further. He wasn’t sure how she was going to take this suggestion. But she’d always been close to his mom and respected her, so maybe if Libby knew it was his mother’s idea she would be okay with it.
Taylor was chewing on his thumb nail when his mother came into the room and batted his hand away. “Stop that, you’ll chew your hand off,” she teased.
Taylor rubbed his hands on his jeans. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’m just really nervous. I’m not sure if she’ll be so happy about this therapy thing.”
Diana sat down next to her son and squeezed him around the shoulders. “You’ll never know if you don’t ask.”
“I know,” Taylor murmured.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door and it opened, Libby calling out a hello as she entered the house. “In here, dear,” Diana called back and a moment later Libby entered the living room. She hesitated in the door way before choosing a seat on the love seat opposite of her husband and mother-in-law. Diana smiled and went over to Libby, giving the younger woman a tight hug. “How are you today?” Diana asked. Libby only shrugged and looked down at her feet.
Diana looked over at Taylor and he sent a shrug her way, too. Diana rolled her eyes and looked back to her daughter-in-law. “Do you know what Taylor wanted to talk to you about?” she asked.
“No,” Libby murmured.
“Well, Taylor told me how much you two have been fighting since Lily’s death,” Diana started. “And I suggested that maybe the two of you should see a couple’s counselor to work through this.”
Libby’s gaze snapped up to Taylor’s, her eyes wide. “Yeah, no, I don’t think so.” Taylor frowned. He knew she wasn’t going to take this well.
Diana looked at Libby questioningly. “Why not, sweetie?” she asked.
“I’ve been to therapy before and it was… it was a waste of time,” Libby answered. “I’m not willing to waste our money on something that’s not going to help.”
“Oh, sweetie, you don’t know that it won’t help. I went to a grief counselor when I lost my mother and it did wonders for me,” Diana told her daughter-in-law.
Libby sighed and looked down at her hands. “Do you mind if I speak with Taylor privately?”
“No, of course not,” Diana answered. She gave a pointed look to her son as she left the two alone.
When Libby was sure there was no one to overhear, she got up and moved over to the couch to sit by Taylor. “I’ve never told you the whole story about when I was in therapy before,” she said quietly. Taylor nodded. He could tell by Libby’s body language that this was hard for her; that whatever story she was about to tell him was not going to be easy for him to hear either.
Libby sat there silently, her eyes focused on her hands as she picked at her nails, a sure sign to Taylor that she was nervous. “It’s okay,” he murmured as he reached out to cover her hands with one of his.
Libby looked at their hands and took a deep breath before lifting a watery gaze to Taylor’s. “I um… when I was sixteen I tried to kill myself,” she murmured to which Taylor’s heart clenched painfully in his chest. He moved closer to his wife and wrapped his arms around her. She nestled into his side, her head falling to his shoulder as she continued her story. “I, obviously, had to stay in the psych ward at the hospital. There um, there wasn’t anything really separating the two hallways that were the two wards; the adolescents and the adults. There was just the nurses’ station really.”
She audibly swallowed and took a deep breath. “It’s okay, baby,” Taylor soothed. “Tell me in your own time.” Libby nodded and took a few more deep breaths before speaking again.
“So there was this guy in the adult side,” she continued. “He would watch me and… he gave me the creeps but I just shrugged it off until one night he snuck into my room.”
“Oh god,” Taylor murmured.
“I had thought it was great that I didn’t have to have a roommate. But then that night I wished so badly that I’d had a roommate so maybe he wouldn’t have even tried coming in my room. He’d know that I wouldn’t be alone so he wouldn’t even try. I just…” Libby shook her head and Taylor squeezed her tighter to his side.
“He hurt you, didn’t he?” he asked softly. Libby could only bob her head up and down. “How… how many nights did this happen?”
“Five,” Libby answered quietly making Taylor curse under his breath. “I um… when I told the shrink what was going on, he didn’t…” Libby let out a small sob. “He didn’t believe me. But when my mom came to get me, I told her what happened immediately and it… the police took care of it, you know.” Taylor nodded mutely. “I haven’t… I could never go to therapy after that; I couldn’t trust a shrink after that.”
“I’m so sorry, baby,” Taylor whispered and kissed the side of her head.
“The only way I was able to get passed it was talking to an adult friend of mine because she worked at a rape crisis center and counseled others that went through this type of thing. She was the only one I could trust with what happened,” Libby explained. “I knew she’d believe every word I was going to tell her.” She shrugged and drew back just enough to look up into her husband’s eyes. “So you see, I can’t go to another therapist.”
Taylor chewed thoughtfully on his lower lip. “What about this friend of yours?” he asked. “Do you think she’d be able to counsel us? Can she do that kind of thing? Or maybe she could recommend someone? Would you be willing to go to someone she recommended?”
“I um… I don’t know,” Libby answered. “She doesn’t do this kind of counseling and even if she can recommend someone, I’m not sure I could open up to them.”
“Can we just…” Taylor sighed quietly. “Are you willing to at least try? I mean, I’ll be there; you won’t be alone with the therapist ever. I just… I think this is our only hope.”
Libby looked away for a moment and Taylor prayed that she would give it some consideration. He honestly didn’t know how else they were going to get through their grief with their marriage intact. “I don’t know, Taylor,” she murmured.
“You trust your friend, right?” Libby nodded. “If you trust her, can’t you trust her to find us someone that you could be safe with?”
Libby took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She searched Taylor’s eyes for something Taylor could only guess at before she nodded and said, “Yeah, I guess I could at least try. Can we agree that it’ll be a woman though?”
Taylor nodded his head in agreement. “Yes, of course, whatever will help you.” He smiled softly and tucked a piece of Libby’s dark hair behind her ear. “I just want our marriage back,” he said quietly. “I’ll do anything to get our relationship in a better place.”
Libby sighed and leaned her forehead against Taylor’s. “I do love you, you know,” she murmured. “And I’m sorry for, you know, what I said yesterday… about it being your fault.” She chewed her lower lip a moment. “I know it wasn’t your fault. I’m just… hurt and mad and just so frustrated that I don’t even know what to do.”
Taylor pecked her lips and slid his fingers through her hair. “I accept your apology,” he told his wife quietly. “And I’m sorry you’re having all those feelings. I know what it’s like, I feel them all too.”
Libby lifted her gaze to Taylor’s as she drew back, putting a couple inches between their faces. “We have a lot to talk about in therapy, don’t we?”
Taylor nodded. “I think we do.” Libby sighed and pressed her face into Taylor’s neck, her arms wrapped around him tightly.
Taylor hugged his wife close and inhaled the scent of her perfume. It had been quite a while since he had been close enough to her to be able to get a good whiff of the comforting scent. “I’ve missed this,” he murmured.
“Me too,” she replied. The pair sat silently as they held onto each other, enjoying the closeness that they hadn’t had in over a month. After a while Libby pulled her face away from Taylor’s neck and got out her cell phone to call her friend about a grief counselor for them.
# # #
TBC: chapter four