I still shed a tear every once in a while…
It's the middle of October which means it'll soon be November which means December 26th is right around the corner. I can't believe I've barely visited her. But I think that's mostly my mom's fault for not wanting to run into her mother.
I can't believe that it's been almost five years and it still hurts the same as the day I found out. I'm already crying writing this post. She was my best friend for so many years and even when we'd go years without seeing each other, it was like time had never passed when we'd finally see each other again.
I miss her so much and I don't think anyone realizes. This will be her 5th birthday without her which seems surreal. It feels like only yesterday she was killed in that crash. I want so much to eat one of those huge cans of popcorn they sell at Christmas with her. I want to go back to Didi's School of Dance with her. Hell, I wish I was still living in her basement if that would mean she was still here.
I hadn't seen her in, like, 2 years when she died and it hurt so badly. I've always hated how our mothers drifted apart after hers got married which made us drift apart. I always loved her like a twin sister. She was one of the best and most real and true friend I've ever had. Not like a lot of those girls growing up who were my best friends but also my worst enemies whenever we were mad at each other - and even when we weren't.
I desperately want to find my charm bracelet as the last thing she gave me were charms for it. And maybe the next color I'll due my hair is red because she LOVED my fire engine red hair. That was the color it was the second to last time I saw her at her mother's 50th birthday party.
She's the reason I started believing in Heaven, because if there was no Heaven than she was just a corpse in the ground, rotting away. I can't think of her like that. I want to think of her as my twin sister and a half-naked child running around in her diaper saying "Woo woo baby!" She was the yin to my yang. I was the shy one, she was the out-going one. We were a perfect match and inseparable. I hate how that ended just because her mom got married. I hated it even more once she died.
I feel like I was rob. Robbed of a beautiful friendship, of someone who always cared about me no matter what. I was robbed of all the milestones she had left; her 21st birthday, getting married, having kids and grand kids, becoming an aunt. I hate it even more that she missed those experiences.
So as you see, it's that time of year when I start thinking about her hardcore and missing her like crazy. She was the first true best friend I had and I was her first best friend period. I kinda feel like curling up in a ball and just sobbing. I don't know why it's hitting so hard today, but it is and I have no way to make it better.
xox
I miss you…
I miss your smile…
And I still shed a tear every once in a while.
And even though it's different now,
You're still here somehow.
My heart won't let you go,
But I still need you to know…
I miss you
Sha la la la
I miss you…
♥ Emilie Koch Lafontaine ♥
December 26th 1986 - March 26th 2007
-•Posted via BlogPress•-
I can't believe that it's been almost five years and it still hurts the same as the day I found out. I'm already crying writing this post. She was my best friend for so many years and even when we'd go years without seeing each other, it was like time had never passed when we'd finally see each other again.
I miss her so much and I don't think anyone realizes. This will be her 5th birthday without her which seems surreal. It feels like only yesterday she was killed in that crash. I want so much to eat one of those huge cans of popcorn they sell at Christmas with her. I want to go back to Didi's School of Dance with her. Hell, I wish I was still living in her basement if that would mean she was still here.
I hadn't seen her in, like, 2 years when she died and it hurt so badly. I've always hated how our mothers drifted apart after hers got married which made us drift apart. I always loved her like a twin sister. She was one of the best and most real and true friend I've ever had. Not like a lot of those girls growing up who were my best friends but also my worst enemies whenever we were mad at each other - and even when we weren't.
I desperately want to find my charm bracelet as the last thing she gave me were charms for it. And maybe the next color I'll due my hair is red because she LOVED my fire engine red hair. That was the color it was the second to last time I saw her at her mother's 50th birthday party.
She's the reason I started believing in Heaven, because if there was no Heaven than she was just a corpse in the ground, rotting away. I can't think of her like that. I want to think of her as my twin sister and a half-naked child running around in her diaper saying "Woo woo baby!" She was the yin to my yang. I was the shy one, she was the out-going one. We were a perfect match and inseparable. I hate how that ended just because her mom got married. I hated it even more once she died.
I feel like I was rob. Robbed of a beautiful friendship, of someone who always cared about me no matter what. I was robbed of all the milestones she had left; her 21st birthday, getting married, having kids and grand kids, becoming an aunt. I hate it even more that she missed those experiences.
So as you see, it's that time of year when I start thinking about her hardcore and missing her like crazy. She was the first true best friend I had and I was her first best friend period. I kinda feel like curling up in a ball and just sobbing. I don't know why it's hitting so hard today, but it is and I have no way to make it better.
xox
I miss you…
I miss your smile…
And I still shed a tear every once in a while.
And even though it's different now,
You're still here somehow.
My heart won't let you go,
But I still need you to know…
I miss you
Sha la la la
I miss you…
♥ Emilie Koch Lafontaine ♥
December 26th 1986 - March 26th 2007
-•Posted via BlogPress•-