Song to Sing Chapter 10
Title/Chapter: Song to Sing (10/??)
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister
Pairing: Zac / OFC: Olivia
Genre: Love / Romance / AU
Rating: R
P.O.V.: first person, switches back and forth but is clearly marked.
Notes: This is written for the Hanfic Genre Challenge
Other Notes: Sequel to Collide
Word Count: 1,795 (not including lyrics)
Warning: Some strong language
Previous Chapters
Summary: After The Walk Tour ‘08, Olivia and the rest of Late Night Romance move down to Tulsa so Olivia can be with Zac. After entering her second trimester, there’s a tragic loss that sends Olivia in to a devastating depression that puts a huge strain on her relationship with Zac. Will they be able to overcome this hardship or will it destroy them?
SONG CREDIT
Song: Until You’re Mine
Artist: Demi Lovato
Album: Don’t Forget
CHAPTER TEN
ZAC’S POV
I wake up a few days after my encounter with Olivia knowing I need to break-up with Kate. She’s a great girl and everything, but I don’t really love her. At least, not in the way I should. I make some breakfast and drink a cup of coffee before taking a nice long shower. Then I get dressed and hop in my car.
I bang my knuckles against the wooden door three times and then wait. Kate pulls open the door and a huge grin comes over her face when she sees me. “Zac!” she says excitedly, pulling me in for a tight hug. I hug her back, but it’s only a half-hearted one. She pulls back to look at me. “Is everything okay?”
“Kate, we need to talk,” I tell her.
“Of course,” she replies. “Come on in.” She steps back from the door and ushers me inside.
Kate takes me by the hand and leads me in to her living room where we sit on the couch. “What’s up, Zac?” she asks.
“I um, this is really hard for me to tell you,” I begin, “but I’ve realized that I’m not over Olivia.”
“Your ex?” she asks. “The one you were engaged to?” I nod. “Do you need some time? I mean, we can take things slower or take a break if you need to. I understand.”
“I don’t think you do,” I tell her. “I’m not over her and I never will be.”
Kate frowns, screwing up that pretty little face of hers. “You’re right, I don’t understand. What are you trying to say?”
“What I’m trying to say is that we need to break up. I’m never going to be truly happy without her.”
Kate nods slowly. “Oh, I see.”
“I’m really sorry,” I say quietly. “I wouldn’t have let us get this far, but I hadn’t figured it out before now.”
“How? I mean, how’d you figure it out?”
I sigh and run my hand through my hair. “You… You really don’t want to know,” I tell her.
She nods. “Oh, okay.”
“I’m really sorry.”
She nods again. “So, is that it?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
For the third time, the pretty brunette nods. “I think you should go,” she says.
I nod. “Yeah, I think so too.”
Kate crosses her arms over her chest as she walks me back to the door. I open the door and then turn to her. “I do care about you,” I tell her quietly. “But sometimes that’s just not enough.” She nods silently. I lean in to kiss her on the forehead. “Take care of yourself.” Then I exit the house and make my way down the drive to my car.
I get in my car and just drive, needing to think. I can’t believe I just broke up with a girl that moved all the way from Georgia to be with me. She says that wasn’t the reason for the move, but I know it was. She can’t deny it. I think I broke her heart, although I can’t be completely sure, she was so calm. I feel bad for hurting her, but everything I told her was true. I’m not over Olivia and I never will be. No matter how badly she hurt me, it’s nothing compared to the pain I feel without her. But I didn’t know how bad I felt without her until we made love the other day. That day I had felt happier than I had in months. Hell, in almost a year. Ever since the day we lost our baby. The only time in my life that I have felt truly happy has been the moments I’ve spent with her. Not even playing music on stage in front of thousands makes me feel quite as good. It’s a close second, but it’s just not the same.
Olivia and Taylor were right this whole time. Olivia and I are meant to be together. We’re soul mates and there’s no denying it. I can only hope that all the things she told me about her depression are true. That she’s gotten better, that working on her music has helped and the only thing that makes her miserable is being without me. I can’t let her go back to Boston. I can’t let her get away. I finally know that I need her.
When I put the car in park, I notice I’m outside of Olivia’s house. Huh, I didn’t mean to end up there. Maybe it’s a sign from the universe. It’s gotta be. I wasn’t even paying attention to where I was going and I wound up here of all places. I take a deep breath and get out of the car, it’s now or never. I make my way to the side door and knock, holding my breath, hoping she’ll see me.
OLIVIA’S POV
There’s a knock on the door and I go running in to the other room to answer it. I twist the knob and pull the door open to find Zac standing on my steps. I cross my arms over my chest and stick one hip out. “What are you doing here?” I ask, feeling wary of his sudden appearance.
“Can I come in?” he asks quietly. I nod, stepping back and opening the door wider to let him through. “Can we go someplace to talk?” I nod again and lead him in to the living room.
I sit down on the couch and Zac sits across from me on the coffee table. “What are you doing here?” I ask. “What is it that we need to talk about?”
“I… I’m not sure how to say it,” he tells me. “But I know how to sing it. Do you think I could use your guitar?” I’m intrigued so I nod and get up to get my acoustic from my room. Once it’s in hand, I hurry back downstairs to Zac. I’m definitely interested to hear what he’s got to sing.
I hand the guitar to Zac and he checks to make sure it’s in tune, fiddling with the knobs a little to tweak the sound. He clears his throat and looks up at me behind his fringe of bangs. “So um, are you ready?” he asks.
I nod. “I’m all ears.” Then the young man takes a deep breath and begins to play.
“My state of mind has finally got the best of me. I need you next to me. I'm trying to find a way that I can get to you, just wanna get to you. The world I see is perfect now you're all around. With you I can breath.
“Until you're mine, I have to find a way to fill this hole inside. I've got to fight, without you here by my side. Until you're mine, not gonna be even close to complete. I won't rest until you're mine, mine.
“Alone inside, I can only hear your voice ringing through the noise. Can't find my mind
keeps on coming back to you, always back to you. Wanting something out of reach. It's killing me, and you're all I see yeah.
“Until you're mine, I have to find a way to fill this hole inside. I've got to fight, without you here by my side. Until you're mine, not gonna be even close to complete. I won't rest until you're mine, mine.
“Yes I’m wondering if we were meant to be. Forget about fading, just hold me. I'm ready to begin. The waiting has to end right now, too late. I've got to find a way yeah, yeah.
“Mine. Until you're mine. Until you're mine. I have to find a way to fill this hole inside.
I've got to fight, without you here by my side. Until you're mine, not gonna be even close to complete. I won't rest until you're mine, mine.
“My state of mind has finally got the best from me. I need you next to me.”
Zac looks up from the guitar and murmurs, “I broke up with Kate.”
“What?” I ask, because clearly I hadn’t heard him right.
“I broke up with Kate,” he repeats. “She’s not the one I want to be with. I need you, Liv.”
I don’t know why but suddenly anger bubbles up in my chest at his words. I’m so confused. Shouldn’t I be elated? “You need me?” I snarl. “You fucking need me? What the fuck do you think I’ve been saying all these months?!”
“I know,” he whispers. “I didn’t realize how much it hurt being without you until I got another taste of you. I don’t want you to go back to Boston. Please say you’ll stay.”
“Fuck you, Zac!” I exclaim. “Do you know what you’ve put me through? Do you know how much it hurt to have that time with you the other day only to get thrown out? God, Zac, I’ve just been aching for you for so long. I just… Get out.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Get out!” I stand up and point towards the door.
“But, Liv…”
“No buts. Just go.”
“Please, Liv,” he begs. “Please, don’t make me leave. Please. I just want you. I just want what we had back. I want what we had the other day back. Please, Liv, don’t make me go.”
“Zac, don’t make this any harder than it has to be,” I tell him, tears burning in my eyes. I try my hardest to fight it, not wanting to cry in front of him. But I’m so upset, I don’t know what to do. “Just get out and don’t come back unless I ask you to.”
Zac rest my guitar against the couch and slowly stands. He looks at me for a moment before pulling me in to a tight hug. He kisses my head and murmurs, “I’ll wait forever if I have to.” I can’t reply, my heart in my throat, choking me. All I can do is point to the door. Zac nods, hangs his head and leaves.
I collapse on the couch when I hear his car leave the driveway. I cover my face with my hands and begin to sob. I hear quiet footsteps making their way over to me and someone sits down gently beside me. “Liv?” Aaron asks. I remove my hands from my face and tackle him in a hug. Aaron wraps his arms around me tightly, cradling my head against his shoulder. “Sh,” he murmurs. “Sh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”
Once I’ve calmed down enough to speak, I tell Aaron everything. “I just… I don’t know what to do, I’m so confused,” I sob.
“It’s okay to be confused,” Aaron tells me quietly.
“But I shouldn’t be!” I exclaim. “This is what I wanted! I wanted him back! But now…” I shake my head. “He basically reiterated everything I told him. But when I said it to him, it wasn’t good enough, now it is? I don’t get it.”
“It wasn’t good enough for him because he was still so hurt,” Aaron explains. “He had that amazing day with you and all those feelings he was trying to repress came rushing back, all that love. Now he realizes just how much he needs you. Can you get that?”
I sigh. “I guess so.”
“How did you feel being with him again?” Aaron asks.
“It was the best feeling in the world. It felt like old times, before I got depressed, before I lost the baby. It was… amazing.”
“How much do you want to bet it was the same for Zac?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“So what are you going to do, babe?”
“Dunno,” I whisper. “I think I just need some time to wrap my head around this, ya know?” I pull back a little to look at my best friend.
He nods. “I think that’s okay. I mean, he said he’d wait forever. I think a few days or weeks will be cake for him.”
I sigh. “I think I need a nap now. I’m so fucking drained.”
“Do you want me to lay with you?”
“Please?”
“Sure, Sweet Girl. Come on.”
Aaron takes me by the hand and leads me upstairs. We curl up on his bed together and I cling to him. He holds me close and strokes my hair until I finally fall asleep.
& & & & &
Stay tuned for Chapter Eleven!
Comments and constructive criticism is welcomed.
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister
Pairing: Zac / OFC: Olivia
Genre: Love / Romance / AU
Rating: R
P.O.V.: first person, switches back and forth but is clearly marked.
Notes: This is written for the Hanfic Genre Challenge
Other Notes: Sequel to Collide
Word Count: 1,795 (not including lyrics)
Warning: Some strong language
Previous Chapters
Summary: After The Walk Tour ‘08, Olivia and the rest of Late Night Romance move down to Tulsa so Olivia can be with Zac. After entering her second trimester, there’s a tragic loss that sends Olivia in to a devastating depression that puts a huge strain on her relationship with Zac. Will they be able to overcome this hardship or will it destroy them?
SONG CREDIT
Song: Until You’re Mine
Artist: Demi Lovato
Album: Don’t Forget
CHAPTER TEN
ZAC’S POV
I wake up a few days after my encounter with Olivia knowing I need to break-up with Kate. She’s a great girl and everything, but I don’t really love her. At least, not in the way I should. I make some breakfast and drink a cup of coffee before taking a nice long shower. Then I get dressed and hop in my car.
I bang my knuckles against the wooden door three times and then wait. Kate pulls open the door and a huge grin comes over her face when she sees me. “Zac!” she says excitedly, pulling me in for a tight hug. I hug her back, but it’s only a half-hearted one. She pulls back to look at me. “Is everything okay?”
“Kate, we need to talk,” I tell her.
“Of course,” she replies. “Come on in.” She steps back from the door and ushers me inside.
Kate takes me by the hand and leads me in to her living room where we sit on the couch. “What’s up, Zac?” she asks.
“I um, this is really hard for me to tell you,” I begin, “but I’ve realized that I’m not over Olivia.”
“Your ex?” she asks. “The one you were engaged to?” I nod. “Do you need some time? I mean, we can take things slower or take a break if you need to. I understand.”
“I don’t think you do,” I tell her. “I’m not over her and I never will be.”
Kate frowns, screwing up that pretty little face of hers. “You’re right, I don’t understand. What are you trying to say?”
“What I’m trying to say is that we need to break up. I’m never going to be truly happy without her.”
Kate nods slowly. “Oh, I see.”
“I’m really sorry,” I say quietly. “I wouldn’t have let us get this far, but I hadn’t figured it out before now.”
“How? I mean, how’d you figure it out?”
I sigh and run my hand through my hair. “You… You really don’t want to know,” I tell her.
She nods. “Oh, okay.”
“I’m really sorry.”
She nods again. “So, is that it?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
For the third time, the pretty brunette nods. “I think you should go,” she says.
I nod. “Yeah, I think so too.”
Kate crosses her arms over her chest as she walks me back to the door. I open the door and then turn to her. “I do care about you,” I tell her quietly. “But sometimes that’s just not enough.” She nods silently. I lean in to kiss her on the forehead. “Take care of yourself.” Then I exit the house and make my way down the drive to my car.
I get in my car and just drive, needing to think. I can’t believe I just broke up with a girl that moved all the way from Georgia to be with me. She says that wasn’t the reason for the move, but I know it was. She can’t deny it. I think I broke her heart, although I can’t be completely sure, she was so calm. I feel bad for hurting her, but everything I told her was true. I’m not over Olivia and I never will be. No matter how badly she hurt me, it’s nothing compared to the pain I feel without her. But I didn’t know how bad I felt without her until we made love the other day. That day I had felt happier than I had in months. Hell, in almost a year. Ever since the day we lost our baby. The only time in my life that I have felt truly happy has been the moments I’ve spent with her. Not even playing music on stage in front of thousands makes me feel quite as good. It’s a close second, but it’s just not the same.
Olivia and Taylor were right this whole time. Olivia and I are meant to be together. We’re soul mates and there’s no denying it. I can only hope that all the things she told me about her depression are true. That she’s gotten better, that working on her music has helped and the only thing that makes her miserable is being without me. I can’t let her go back to Boston. I can’t let her get away. I finally know that I need her.
When I put the car in park, I notice I’m outside of Olivia’s house. Huh, I didn’t mean to end up there. Maybe it’s a sign from the universe. It’s gotta be. I wasn’t even paying attention to where I was going and I wound up here of all places. I take a deep breath and get out of the car, it’s now or never. I make my way to the side door and knock, holding my breath, hoping she’ll see me.
OLIVIA’S POV
There’s a knock on the door and I go running in to the other room to answer it. I twist the knob and pull the door open to find Zac standing on my steps. I cross my arms over my chest and stick one hip out. “What are you doing here?” I ask, feeling wary of his sudden appearance.
“Can I come in?” he asks quietly. I nod, stepping back and opening the door wider to let him through. “Can we go someplace to talk?” I nod again and lead him in to the living room.
I sit down on the couch and Zac sits across from me on the coffee table. “What are you doing here?” I ask. “What is it that we need to talk about?”
“I… I’m not sure how to say it,” he tells me. “But I know how to sing it. Do you think I could use your guitar?” I’m intrigued so I nod and get up to get my acoustic from my room. Once it’s in hand, I hurry back downstairs to Zac. I’m definitely interested to hear what he’s got to sing.
I hand the guitar to Zac and he checks to make sure it’s in tune, fiddling with the knobs a little to tweak the sound. He clears his throat and looks up at me behind his fringe of bangs. “So um, are you ready?” he asks.
I nod. “I’m all ears.” Then the young man takes a deep breath and begins to play.
“My state of mind has finally got the best of me. I need you next to me. I'm trying to find a way that I can get to you, just wanna get to you. The world I see is perfect now you're all around. With you I can breath.
“Until you're mine, I have to find a way to fill this hole inside. I've got to fight, without you here by my side. Until you're mine, not gonna be even close to complete. I won't rest until you're mine, mine.
“Alone inside, I can only hear your voice ringing through the noise. Can't find my mind
keeps on coming back to you, always back to you. Wanting something out of reach. It's killing me, and you're all I see yeah.
“Until you're mine, I have to find a way to fill this hole inside. I've got to fight, without you here by my side. Until you're mine, not gonna be even close to complete. I won't rest until you're mine, mine.
“Yes I’m wondering if we were meant to be. Forget about fading, just hold me. I'm ready to begin. The waiting has to end right now, too late. I've got to find a way yeah, yeah.
“Mine. Until you're mine. Until you're mine. I have to find a way to fill this hole inside.
I've got to fight, without you here by my side. Until you're mine, not gonna be even close to complete. I won't rest until you're mine, mine.
“My state of mind has finally got the best from me. I need you next to me.”
Zac looks up from the guitar and murmurs, “I broke up with Kate.”
“What?” I ask, because clearly I hadn’t heard him right.
“I broke up with Kate,” he repeats. “She’s not the one I want to be with. I need you, Liv.”
I don’t know why but suddenly anger bubbles up in my chest at his words. I’m so confused. Shouldn’t I be elated? “You need me?” I snarl. “You fucking need me? What the fuck do you think I’ve been saying all these months?!”
“I know,” he whispers. “I didn’t realize how much it hurt being without you until I got another taste of you. I don’t want you to go back to Boston. Please say you’ll stay.”
“Fuck you, Zac!” I exclaim. “Do you know what you’ve put me through? Do you know how much it hurt to have that time with you the other day only to get thrown out? God, Zac, I’ve just been aching for you for so long. I just… Get out.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Get out!” I stand up and point towards the door.
“But, Liv…”
“No buts. Just go.”
“Please, Liv,” he begs. “Please, don’t make me leave. Please. I just want you. I just want what we had back. I want what we had the other day back. Please, Liv, don’t make me go.”
“Zac, don’t make this any harder than it has to be,” I tell him, tears burning in my eyes. I try my hardest to fight it, not wanting to cry in front of him. But I’m so upset, I don’t know what to do. “Just get out and don’t come back unless I ask you to.”
Zac rest my guitar against the couch and slowly stands. He looks at me for a moment before pulling me in to a tight hug. He kisses my head and murmurs, “I’ll wait forever if I have to.” I can’t reply, my heart in my throat, choking me. All I can do is point to the door. Zac nods, hangs his head and leaves.
I collapse on the couch when I hear his car leave the driveway. I cover my face with my hands and begin to sob. I hear quiet footsteps making their way over to me and someone sits down gently beside me. “Liv?” Aaron asks. I remove my hands from my face and tackle him in a hug. Aaron wraps his arms around me tightly, cradling my head against his shoulder. “Sh,” he murmurs. “Sh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”
Once I’ve calmed down enough to speak, I tell Aaron everything. “I just… I don’t know what to do, I’m so confused,” I sob.
“It’s okay to be confused,” Aaron tells me quietly.
“But I shouldn’t be!” I exclaim. “This is what I wanted! I wanted him back! But now…” I shake my head. “He basically reiterated everything I told him. But when I said it to him, it wasn’t good enough, now it is? I don’t get it.”
“It wasn’t good enough for him because he was still so hurt,” Aaron explains. “He had that amazing day with you and all those feelings he was trying to repress came rushing back, all that love. Now he realizes just how much he needs you. Can you get that?”
I sigh. “I guess so.”
“How did you feel being with him again?” Aaron asks.
“It was the best feeling in the world. It felt like old times, before I got depressed, before I lost the baby. It was… amazing.”
“How much do you want to bet it was the same for Zac?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“So what are you going to do, babe?”
“Dunno,” I whisper. “I think I just need some time to wrap my head around this, ya know?” I pull back a little to look at my best friend.
He nods. “I think that’s okay. I mean, he said he’d wait forever. I think a few days or weeks will be cake for him.”
I sigh. “I think I need a nap now. I’m so fucking drained.”
“Do you want me to lay with you?”
“Please?”
“Sure, Sweet Girl. Come on.”
Aaron takes me by the hand and leads me upstairs. We curl up on his bed together and I cling to him. He holds me close and strokes my hair until I finally fall asleep.
& & & & &
Stay tuned for Chapter Eleven!
Comments and constructive criticism is welcomed.