NEW kradam FIC!
Title / Chapter: Your Love is Where I’m Falling (one shot… I think)
Author: amanda: jaclyn’s twin sister ( writefiction)
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: Mostly G except for one eff word
P.O.V.: First Person, Kris Allen
Notes: written for the all_unwritten prompt: #678 no choice
Other Notes: Also inspired by the song Catch Me by Demi Lovato, which is where the title comes from.
For Dreamwidth.org Costumers: This can also be found at the dreamwidth.org community For The Love of Kradam HERE
Summary: I had no choice but to fall in love with him.
PROMPT #678: no choice
But you’re so hypnotizing / You’ve got me laughing while I sing / You’ve got me smiling in my sleep / And I can see this unraveling / Your love is where I’m falling / But please don’t catch me…
- Catch Me -
By Demi Lovato
The moment I met Adam Lambert I had no choice but to fall in love with him - which scared me seeing as how I was straight… and married to my high school sweetheart. But there was something in his sparkling blue eyes and charming smile that had me the moment I saw him. I knew when he shook my hand and electricity surged through me that I would do anything for him. I would do anything to be with him. It took me a long time to get the courage up to say anything. Not that there hadn’t been mild flirting and jokes about being “Kradam” and having a man crush on him. It was just that none of that was quite real, quite honest enough for me.
One night during the American Idol 2009 Tour, I was laying in my bunk missing Conway and Katy. It was rough being away from her. We were best friends and she was my first love. But she knew about my feelings for Adam. I had confessed to her through tears. She just smiled and said she already knew. She had been so good to me through it all and being away was getting to me. I didn’t really know what to do. I needed a distraction. So I crawled out of my bunk and stood on my tiptoes to peer around the edge of the curtain hiding Adam in his own cubby hole.
“Hey,” I say quietly so as not to startle the unsuspecting man.
Adam turns that award-winning smile on me. “Hey, Krissy-Pooh!” he greets me in delight. But then he frowns, deep creases lining his forehead. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Can I come up?” I gesture towards the bunk. Adam pulls the curtain back and pats the spot next to him. I quickly climb up and settle into the bunk. It’s a tight fit and we’re a little squished, but it’s Adam so it’s all good.
Adam wraps an arm around me and flicks the curtain closed. “So what’s up, buttercup?” he asks.
I shrug.
Adam pulls me closer and kisses my head. “You’re missing home,” he states. I nod, tears forming in my eyes. He can read me so well. “You wanna talk?” I nod again, wiping at my eyes. “Whenever you’re ready,” he murmurs running his hand through my hair.
I curl closer to Adam, resting my cheek on his shoulder. He kisses my head again sending a warm feeling all the way down to my toes. I sigh quietly not knowing where to start. The silence isn’t awkward, it never is with Adam. He just holds me close and waits patiently for me to begin.
“I miss home,” I murmur. “I miss my friends and my family.”
“I’m your friend,” Adam says.
“And my family,” I reply quietly.
“Really?” Adam sounds surprised and also a bit excited.
I chuckle lightly. “Of course you are, man. I’m closer to you than almost anyone.”
“Really?” His voice is soft this time.
I nod. “Yeah, really.”
“Thanks,” he murmurs. Then we lay in silence.
Adam’s fingertips wander up and down my upper arm softly, just barely kissing the skin there. His touch is so feathery and light that goose-bumps break out all over my body, sending a shiver down my spine.
“Are you cold?” he asks. I shrug because I don’t want to explain to him just yet that he has this kind of effect on me. “Lift up,” he says.
“What?”
“You’re on my blanket.”
“Oh.” I lift myself up a bit and Adam tugs the royal blue blanket out from under me. He wraps the soft cotton around me so we’re both covered up by it. I let my fingers trace along his waist until both my arms are wrapped around him.
“Better?” he asks. I nod, nuzzling against his neck and tangling our legs together. “You really are homesick, aren’t you?” I don’t reply. “Kris…”
“I love you,” I mumble into his neck, but it sounds all garbled, muffled by his skin.
“What?” Adam chuckles.
I lift my head and take a deep breath, closing my eyes for a second. I lock my gaze with Adam’s and say, “I love you.”
A frown creases his forehead. “I love you too, Kris, but you know that.”
I shake my head. “No, Adam. I mean, I love you.” I say it slower this time, trying to convey the meaning behind the words.
Adam just stares at me for a moment. “Kris…?” He shakes his head obviously confused. “You’re straight.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” I mutter. “But then I saw you and I was kind of… I was blown away.”
“But Katy?” Adam asks, still confused.
“She knew the whole time,” I explain. “She just wanted me to tell her on my own terms, when I was ready.” I shrug and avert my gaze.
Adam reaches up to guide my face back to his. “How long?” he asks.
My eyes begin to water. “The whole time,” I murmur. “The whole fucking time.” A tear rolls down my cheek and Adam gently rubs it away.
“Why are you crying?” he asks.
I shrug. “Fear, relief, guilt. Take your pick.”
Adam gives me a sympathetic look and runs his fingers through my hair. “What scares you the most?” he asks.
“Rejection.”
Adam bites his lip. “Oh, honey, you can’t take that personally. Some people are just ignorant.”
I shake my head. “I’m not talking about being gay,” I tell him. “I’m talking about you. My biggest fear is being rejected by you.”
My best friend, and biggest crush, opens and closes his mouth a few times, unable to speak. Then he lifts his face, pressing his lips to mine. “I’d never reject you,” he whispers. “I love you, Kris, and I admitted almost as much in that Rolling Stone interview.” He cups my face in his hands, stroking his thumbs back and forth. “Now why are you crying?” he asks gently.
I laugh lightly. “Happiness, joy, more relief.”
A huge grin splits Adam’s face. “Good. Those are the only tears I ever want to see you cry.” I laugh again and bury my face in his collarbone.
I feel Adam kiss the top of my head. “I love you,” he murmurs.
I sigh happily. “I love you too.”
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