A Gluttonous Challenge
Title: A Gluttonous Challenge
Author: write_my_dreams
Pairing: Asagi x Ruiza
Genre: AU, vampires, humor
Warning: Ruiza eating more than he should, implications of sex.
Disclaimer: Asagi, Ruiza, and Atsushi do not belong to me. The writing and the story are mine.
Rating: PG
Chapter(s): 1/1
Summary: Ruiza discovers a restaurant in Shibuya that sells a mega-burger. Whoever can eat it in 30 minutes gets their picture on the wall + a free t-shirt. He's determined to win the prize. Asagi is merely disgusted.
Author's Comment: This popped into my head yesterday and I decided to write it. The TV show Ruiza watches in the beginning is "Man vs. Food". It's an American show where the host travels the US and does all these food challenges. It's kind of horrifying to watch.
“Rui, are you watching those strange food shows again?” Asagi asked. He’d been folding laundry when he heard Ruiza practically moaning about hamburgers. He stepped out into the living room to see his lover sitting on the couch, eyes fixed on the TV.
The blonde tore his eyes away from the TV. “Strange?” he pouted. “They’re not strange. They’re interesting.” He got up off the couch then ran over to Asagi. “Come watch with me.” He grabbed the older vampire’s hand and tugged him over to the couch. Amused, Asagi sat down then looked at the TV. A chubby, foreign man was eating a hamburger approximately the size of his face. There were also fries on his plate, and it was clear that he was struggling to finish the massive hamburger. People cheered him on as he took another bite. Asagi grimaced at the sight. The oversized burger looked utterly repulsive. Asagi didn’t understand why mortals felt the need to consume as much food as humanly possible. They would only make themselves sick by doing so. He was distracted when Ruiza climbed into his lap.
“Comfortable?” Asagi combed his fingers through soft, blonde hair. He did love to cuddle with Ruiza. Or any lover.
“You are.” The blonde leaned back against his chest, letting out a sigh of contentment.
Asagi smiled as he wrapped his arms around Ruiza’s waist. “Please tell me you aren’t considering eating a hamburger the size of your face.”
“Bigger actually.”
“…Why does that not surprise me?” Asagi sighed. Ruiza’s obsession with food was another topic he struggled to comprehend. He knew Ruiza was simply interested in trying new foods and eating since he’d been unable to do so when he was mortal. Still, he was a vampire. He didn’t need human food to survive and had to drink extra blood to prevent himself from becoming ill.
“It’d be fun to try!” Ruiza insisted. He tilted his head so he could look at Asagi. “There’s a restaurant in Shibuya that serves a mega-burger. So few people can eat the entire thing that if you do, you get your picture put on the wall and a free t-shirt.”
Asagi snorted. “Yes, because you are so in need of more clothing.” Ruiza was a shopaholic. His closet was always bursting with clothes yet he couldn’t stop himself from buying more pieces.
“You liked the leather shorts and fishnet shirt I bought last week.” Smiling wickedly, Ruiza sent the visual of him seductively displayed on their bed to Asagi. The older vampire closed his eyes. Oh he remembered that particular outfit very well. Removing it had been equally enjoyable to find the sexy panties Ruiza had worn beneath it.
Asagi was distracted from the memory when Ruiza kissed his neck. “Come to the restaurant with me. I want my love to watch my victory. Then we could celebrate later. I haven’t told you but,” Ruiza lowered his voice to a sultry purr, “I bought a new outfit to wear for you. I think tonight would be the perfect occasion.”
“Must you consume a mega-burger though?” Asagi made a face as he imagined his tiny lover eating it.
“Of course.” Grinning, Ruiza bounced off his lap. “Now come on, I’m hungry.”
Asagi decided it was better not to question his lover’s gluttony.
* * *
Horrified, Asagi stared at the gigantic plate the waiter set in front of Ruiza. The hamburger was utterly massive and packed full of lettuce, tomato, and meat. Then there was enough fries on the plate to satisfy several teenagers. Just looking at it made him feel sick to his stomach. How could Ruiza feel any desire to eat this? Asagi shuddered then took a sip of his water. Equally frightening as the massive hamburger was the look of sheer pleasure on Ruiza’s face. He’d probably start drooling if he didn’t eat the burger soon.
“Isn’t this amazing?”
“No.”
Ruiza dug his phone out of his pocket. “I’m going to text Acchan. He has to see this.”
“He’ll think it’s revolting.” Atsushi also didn’t understand why Ruiza felt the need to constantly eat. He liked the occasional human meal or dessert but wasn’t one to eat it multiple times a day.
Ruiza pouted as he took a picture of the mega-burger. “I’m sending it to him anyway.”
Asagi sighed, absently toying with the ends of his long hair. He could just imagine the combination of horror and disgust on Atsushi’s face when he checked his phone. “Is there a time limit for you to eat this… nightmare or are you just supposed to eat it all?” He remembered there being time limits on one of the food competition shows that Ruiza was interested in.
“Thirty minutes.”
Asagi shuddered. “That’s disgusting,” he said flatly. He grimaced as Ruiza lifted the giant burger and took a bite. He could barely fit his hands around it and had to shift his grip on the burger to stop the toppings from spilling out. “You are brushing your teeth, using mouthwash, and brushing your teeth again if you want to kiss me tonight.”
Ruiza ignored him in favor of eating more. Asagi decided he should have some alcohol if he was being forced to watch his gluttonous lover. Once he had an Asahi beer, he sipped that as he waited to see if Ruiza would be sick from trying to eat so much food or if he had enough blood in his system to handle it. A vampire could consume human food if they’d drunk blood beforehand. The system worked somewhat like a human’s liver and alcohol. Too much human food made the vampire sick and they would vomit up the food. Asagi was worried that Ruiza’s gluttony would get the better of him this time.
Two beers in, Ruiza was on his last chunk of the mega-burger and a few fries. They also had a group of admirers who were cheering Ruiza on. Asagi still found the entire display disgusting. He kept his opinions to himself, simply watching his lover. He offered no support, which kept making Ruiza pout at him, but the food would quickly distract him.
The crowd made a collective “ohh” as Ruiza ate the last piece of the burger. “Just the fries now,” he said, grinning at Asagi.
The black-haired vampire sighed, wishing he had more alcohol. “Go on then.”
Ruiza happily ate the rest of the fries then leapt out of his chair to do a victory pose. “Ruiza has conquered the mega-burger!”
Asagi was grateful he had long hair since it gave him something to hide behind. This was mortifying… He sighed then stood as well, brushing his hair back behind his ear. “I suppose congratulations are in order. Although I’m appalled that you managed to clear your plate.” He was about to say more then paused as he felt Atsushi’s thoughts brush his.
Why did Ruiza send me a picture of the largest hamburger I have ever seen?
I don’t think you want to know.
…I probably don't. Please tell me our Rui-chan didn’t eat it.
He did.
All of it?! Atsushi sounded appalled.
Asagi sighed again. Yes. He ate all of it. The prize for doing so is getting his picture on the wall along with a free t-shirt.
…Your lover is out of control.
I know. Asagi looked at the plate again and grimaced. This was so disgusting. He glanced up as the restaurant owner came over to talk to Ruiza, congratulating him on his successful demolishment of the mega-burger.
*
“That was so good,” Ruiza said, grinning as he looked at his new shirt. He insisted on wearing it over his other shirt. “You should’ve had one too.”
Asagi shuddered. “I can’t even begin to put into words how much the thought of eating a mega-burger repels me.”
Ruiza shrugged his thin shoulders. “Suit yourself.” He took Asagi’s hand then laced their fingers together. “I did want to get some dessert though…”
“Absolutely not!” Asagi insisted. “You’ve eaten more than enough human food today. You’re going to make yourself sick if you eat anything else. Let’s go home. You did promise to wear a certain outfit for me.”
“So long as I brush my teeth.”
Asagi squeezed Ruiza’s hand. “Exactly.”
Author: write_my_dreams
Pairing: Asagi x Ruiza
Genre: AU, vampires, humor
Warning: Ruiza eating more than he should, implications of sex.
Disclaimer: Asagi, Ruiza, and Atsushi do not belong to me. The writing and the story are mine.
Rating: PG
Chapter(s): 1/1
Summary: Ruiza discovers a restaurant in Shibuya that sells a mega-burger. Whoever can eat it in 30 minutes gets their picture on the wall + a free t-shirt. He's determined to win the prize. Asagi is merely disgusted.
Author's Comment: This popped into my head yesterday and I decided to write it. The TV show Ruiza watches in the beginning is "Man vs. Food". It's an American show where the host travels the US and does all these food challenges. It's kind of horrifying to watch.
“Rui, are you watching those strange food shows again?” Asagi asked. He’d been folding laundry when he heard Ruiza practically moaning about hamburgers. He stepped out into the living room to see his lover sitting on the couch, eyes fixed on the TV.
The blonde tore his eyes away from the TV. “Strange?” he pouted. “They’re not strange. They’re interesting.” He got up off the couch then ran over to Asagi. “Come watch with me.” He grabbed the older vampire’s hand and tugged him over to the couch. Amused, Asagi sat down then looked at the TV. A chubby, foreign man was eating a hamburger approximately the size of his face. There were also fries on his plate, and it was clear that he was struggling to finish the massive hamburger. People cheered him on as he took another bite. Asagi grimaced at the sight. The oversized burger looked utterly repulsive. Asagi didn’t understand why mortals felt the need to consume as much food as humanly possible. They would only make themselves sick by doing so. He was distracted when Ruiza climbed into his lap.
“Comfortable?” Asagi combed his fingers through soft, blonde hair. He did love to cuddle with Ruiza. Or any lover.
“You are.” The blonde leaned back against his chest, letting out a sigh of contentment.
Asagi smiled as he wrapped his arms around Ruiza’s waist. “Please tell me you aren’t considering eating a hamburger the size of your face.”
“Bigger actually.”
“…Why does that not surprise me?” Asagi sighed. Ruiza’s obsession with food was another topic he struggled to comprehend. He knew Ruiza was simply interested in trying new foods and eating since he’d been unable to do so when he was mortal. Still, he was a vampire. He didn’t need human food to survive and had to drink extra blood to prevent himself from becoming ill.
“It’d be fun to try!” Ruiza insisted. He tilted his head so he could look at Asagi. “There’s a restaurant in Shibuya that serves a mega-burger. So few people can eat the entire thing that if you do, you get your picture put on the wall and a free t-shirt.”
Asagi snorted. “Yes, because you are so in need of more clothing.” Ruiza was a shopaholic. His closet was always bursting with clothes yet he couldn’t stop himself from buying more pieces.
“You liked the leather shorts and fishnet shirt I bought last week.” Smiling wickedly, Ruiza sent the visual of him seductively displayed on their bed to Asagi. The older vampire closed his eyes. Oh he remembered that particular outfit very well. Removing it had been equally enjoyable to find the sexy panties Ruiza had worn beneath it.
Asagi was distracted from the memory when Ruiza kissed his neck. “Come to the restaurant with me. I want my love to watch my victory. Then we could celebrate later. I haven’t told you but,” Ruiza lowered his voice to a sultry purr, “I bought a new outfit to wear for you. I think tonight would be the perfect occasion.”
“Must you consume a mega-burger though?” Asagi made a face as he imagined his tiny lover eating it.
“Of course.” Grinning, Ruiza bounced off his lap. “Now come on, I’m hungry.”
Asagi decided it was better not to question his lover’s gluttony.
* * *
Horrified, Asagi stared at the gigantic plate the waiter set in front of Ruiza. The hamburger was utterly massive and packed full of lettuce, tomato, and meat. Then there was enough fries on the plate to satisfy several teenagers. Just looking at it made him feel sick to his stomach. How could Ruiza feel any desire to eat this? Asagi shuddered then took a sip of his water. Equally frightening as the massive hamburger was the look of sheer pleasure on Ruiza’s face. He’d probably start drooling if he didn’t eat the burger soon.
“Isn’t this amazing?”
“No.”
Ruiza dug his phone out of his pocket. “I’m going to text Acchan. He has to see this.”
“He’ll think it’s revolting.” Atsushi also didn’t understand why Ruiza felt the need to constantly eat. He liked the occasional human meal or dessert but wasn’t one to eat it multiple times a day.
Ruiza pouted as he took a picture of the mega-burger. “I’m sending it to him anyway.”
Asagi sighed, absently toying with the ends of his long hair. He could just imagine the combination of horror and disgust on Atsushi’s face when he checked his phone. “Is there a time limit for you to eat this… nightmare or are you just supposed to eat it all?” He remembered there being time limits on one of the food competition shows that Ruiza was interested in.
“Thirty minutes.”
Asagi shuddered. “That’s disgusting,” he said flatly. He grimaced as Ruiza lifted the giant burger and took a bite. He could barely fit his hands around it and had to shift his grip on the burger to stop the toppings from spilling out. “You are brushing your teeth, using mouthwash, and brushing your teeth again if you want to kiss me tonight.”
Ruiza ignored him in favor of eating more. Asagi decided he should have some alcohol if he was being forced to watch his gluttonous lover. Once he had an Asahi beer, he sipped that as he waited to see if Ruiza would be sick from trying to eat so much food or if he had enough blood in his system to handle it. A vampire could consume human food if they’d drunk blood beforehand. The system worked somewhat like a human’s liver and alcohol. Too much human food made the vampire sick and they would vomit up the food. Asagi was worried that Ruiza’s gluttony would get the better of him this time.
Two beers in, Ruiza was on his last chunk of the mega-burger and a few fries. They also had a group of admirers who were cheering Ruiza on. Asagi still found the entire display disgusting. He kept his opinions to himself, simply watching his lover. He offered no support, which kept making Ruiza pout at him, but the food would quickly distract him.
The crowd made a collective “ohh” as Ruiza ate the last piece of the burger. “Just the fries now,” he said, grinning at Asagi.
The black-haired vampire sighed, wishing he had more alcohol. “Go on then.”
Ruiza happily ate the rest of the fries then leapt out of his chair to do a victory pose. “Ruiza has conquered the mega-burger!”
Asagi was grateful he had long hair since it gave him something to hide behind. This was mortifying… He sighed then stood as well, brushing his hair back behind his ear. “I suppose congratulations are in order. Although I’m appalled that you managed to clear your plate.” He was about to say more then paused as he felt Atsushi’s thoughts brush his.
Why did Ruiza send me a picture of the largest hamburger I have ever seen?
I don’t think you want to know.
…I probably don't. Please tell me our Rui-chan didn’t eat it.
He did.
All of it?! Atsushi sounded appalled.
Asagi sighed again. Yes. He ate all of it. The prize for doing so is getting his picture on the wall along with a free t-shirt.
…Your lover is out of control.
I know. Asagi looked at the plate again and grimaced. This was so disgusting. He glanced up as the restaurant owner came over to talk to Ruiza, congratulating him on his successful demolishment of the mega-burger.
*
“That was so good,” Ruiza said, grinning as he looked at his new shirt. He insisted on wearing it over his other shirt. “You should’ve had one too.”
Asagi shuddered. “I can’t even begin to put into words how much the thought of eating a mega-burger repels me.”
Ruiza shrugged his thin shoulders. “Suit yourself.” He took Asagi’s hand then laced their fingers together. “I did want to get some dessert though…”
“Absolutely not!” Asagi insisted. “You’ve eaten more than enough human food today. You’re going to make yourself sick if you eat anything else. Let’s go home. You did promise to wear a certain outfit for me.”
“So long as I brush my teeth.”
Asagi squeezed Ruiza’s hand. “Exactly.”