A Frozen Heart
Title: A Frozen Heart
Author: write_my_dreams
Pairing: Atsushi x Carbuncle, one-sided Justice x Carbuncle, Justice x Blanche
Genre: Vampires, angst, some romance
Warning: Experimental fic. No content to warn about.
Disclaimer: Sakurai Atsushi belongs to himself, the Vampire Saga characters mentioned belong to D and Asagi. The writing and the storyline belong to myself.
Chapter(s): 1/1
Summary: Witnessing a kiss between Justice and Blanche drives Carbuncle to the snowy castle grounds where she is soon joined by Atsushi.
Author's Comment: I've thought about writing a Vampire Saga fic for a few weeks but never got around to doing it. I had an Atsushi x Carbuncle dream over the summer and every so often it comes back to haunt me. Decided to finally write it.
Carbuncle’s boot heels clicked against the stones as she stalked down one of the castle’s many corridors. Dawn was little more than an hour away but she would find no peace. Restless thoughts filled her mind, swirling around her head in the same manner that the wind blew the snow outside the castle windows. Memories. Dark thoughts of things that would never be hers. Anger at Rafaga and Atsushi for talking about her heartache.
“Why are you incapable of closing your heart against Justice? He will never love you the way you want him to! Dreizehn didn’t and neither will Justice. You cannot continue to pine for him! I’ve watched you over the years, Buncle. I see your pain and how no one can comfort you…”
Thinking about those words made her blood boil. Rafaga was under the delusion that confronting her with brutal honesty would help her. Nothing could be done to heal the pain of unrequited love though. Once, she believed that time would ease her heartache. Then her relationship with a man who actually loved her. Neither had helped. The pain and heartache continued along with the impossible longing.
Carbuncle slowed to a halt and turned to look out the window. She watched the snow swirling outside the windows. She reached out, laying her hand on the chilled glass as she studied her pale face. Her eyes reflected a myriad of emotions though her expression revealed none of her turmoil. She drew her hand back, fingers curling into a fist as she felt the urge to drive it through the window. Shatter the glass so she could no longer see her features. She watched her reflection again. Watched her eyes darken as her fist trembled. Frustrated, Carbuncle whirled away and drew her red cloak tighter around her shoulders. She’d been so moody of late that anything was likely to upset her. All because of him. Carbuncle’s eyes closed as she thought of him. Justice. Sweet, handsome Justice with his heartbreaking resemblance to his father. The man she’d so dearly loved. And he, like his father, was beyond her reach.
“Do you love Justice for himself or because he shares Dreizehn’s features?”
She gritted her teeth as Atsushi’s word echoed through her mind. He had asked that hateful question several years ago. It had angered her then as much as it did now. Even more disturbing was the fact that she had struggled to answer Atsushi. She loved Justice for himself but she also loved that he shared his father’s features. Even now, she could not give him the clear answer that he wanted.
Frustrated, Carbuncle whirled away and stalked down the corridor. She had entered the disused portion of the castle for a reason. To think. To partake in no one’s company but her own. She’d hoped that the walk would cleanse her thoughts. Clearly, that hope had been in vain. Perhaps it was better to return to the comfort of her chamber. Surrender to her thoughts.
Carbuncle was about to turn back when a familiar scent washed over her. Justice! He was somewhere down this corridor. She hesitated, torn between the desire to see him and the desire to save her dignity. But to see Justice… Unbidden, her feet carried her down the corridor. She turned the corner then froze at the sight of Justice and Blanche embracing. His arms around her waist, fingers toying with the ends of her long hair. Carbuncle felt sick as she watched Justice lean in and kiss Blanche.
She couldn’t bear to see more.
The chill wind slapped her braids against her face, but she didn’t care. None of that mattered. The outside temperature, though it had little effect on her body, seemed as cold as her frozen heart. Why… why could she never have Dreizehn or Justice? Always, she came into their lives too late. A beautiful woman was already present in their lives by the time she became aware of her true feelings for them. And by then, it was too late for her love to be returned.
Hot tears gathered in her eyes. She closed them, feeling the tears slip down her cheeks and turn to blood-red gemstones. Crying gemstones was one of the few things that linked her to her beloved king and Justice.
“Should I worry that the snow and wind are more appealing than my company?”
The question startled her. She hadn’t sensed the presence of anyone! Yet she knew this voice. Had it been anyone else, her hand would have shot to the dagger at her waist. But she would not do that to him for the sound of his voice was one she knew all too well.
“I told you I wished to think.” Carbuncle cast Atsushi a brief glance before swiping the back of her hand across her cheeks. Shameful, to be caught crying in this manner. She was the knight of fire, not a weeping maiden!
You are no maiden, my dear.
Carbuncle shot her husband a dark glare. “Do not toy with me tonight.” Teasing her would only upset her further. “And do not read my thoughts!” She folded her arms across her chest as she whirled to face him. She was in no mood for games or her loving but often infuriating husband.
Atsushi reached out to brush his fingers down her arms. “Did something happen?”
The kiss flashed across her mind. “No.” She didn’t want to speak about this.
“I know you far too well to believe your lies.”
Carbuncle opened her mouth to speak then closed it. Atsushi’s dark eyes softened as he studied her face. She surprised them both when she suddenly slumped against Atsushi’s chest. Though his body tensed in surprise, he immediately raised his arms to wrap around her. Just as Justice had held Blanche in the corridor. “Justice… and Blanche were in one of the corridors. He embraced her just as you hold me, had his hands in her hair…” she pressed her face into Atsushi’s shirt. “And he kissed her.”
Atsushi cradled the back of her head while the other hand caressed her back. “If Justice takes Blanche as his wife, will you be able to stay loyal to him? To protect and serve not only him but her as well?”
The questions brought pain to her heart. First Rafaga and now Atsushi…
“Yes,” Carbuncle whispered. “I accepted Rosalie. I have no choice but to accept Blanche as well.” If she did not, then she would no longer be able to stand by Justice’s side. And the guardians. Rafaga, Kircheis, and Wilderness were like brothers to her. She would lose their companionship if she put her own desires above Justice’s. She was a knight. He was the prince. She had sworn fealty to him and could not let her personal desires overcome her.
Sighing, Carbuncle stepped out of her husband’s embrace. “I warned you that I would not make a good wife,” she said quietly as she looked up at him.
Atsushi merely looked amused. “I don’t recall telling you that I would make a good husband.”
That brought a smile to her lips. It soon faded as she continued to study his features. Truly, Carbuncle did not make a good wife. And she knew it. In love with other men, frequently in battle or training… but she couldn’t change herself. And she wouldn’t. She was a warrior, not a helpless maiden who relied on her husband’s strength.
“Stop.” Atsushi traced his thumb over her plush lips. He’d read her mind again, but she didn’t scold him as she usually would. “I did not ask you to marry me because I was looking for ‘a good wife.’ I have had one already and I would not change your or dampen your fire in any way, Carbuncle. It is your fire that first drew me to you after all.”
“My fire,” Carbuncle murmured. She laced her fingers with Atsushi’s then gave him a wicked smile. “And my corsets.” He had always loved her figure when it was tightly laced into a corset.
“And your legs.”
Carbuncle snorted but soon smiled again. Atsushi’s often-playful nature was the reason he’d been able to get so close to her. And he was determined. Determined enough to challenge her to a duel in order to court her.
“If you lose, you will accompany me to the prince’s ball. Be my lady for the night and dance with me.”
“And if you lose, you will stop pursuing me.”
Atsushi had defeated her in that duel. She’d been angry at the time but he had soon won her over.
“We should return to the castle.” Carbuncle looked up at the castle, blinking snow from her lashes. Her eyes returned to Atsushi when he cupped her face.
“Not yet.” His thumbs caressed her cheeks. “Since it was a kiss that so upset you, let me distract you.” He kissed her then, hands dropping to her slim waist to pull her close. He kissed her with the same passion that Justice had kissed Blanche. With the same love. Carbuncle slid her fingers into her husband’s shoulder-length hair, tangling in the silky strands as she kissed him back. They were still kissing in the snowy grounds when Carbuncle heard Rafaga calling for her.
“There’s a meeting.”
Atsushi gracefully untangled himself from her. “I won’t hold you back from your duties. I will be in our chamber if you feel inclined to return after your meeting.”
Carbuncle nodded. “I will.”
She sensed that she would need Atsushi’s presence after having to meet with Justice so soon after witnessing his kiss with Blanche.
Notes
1) Atsushi and Carbuncle kissing in the snow comes from my dream. It was a little different though since they were in a forest and Carbuncle was wearing her Rosenstrauss clothes. And Atsushi... was being a perv and feeling up his wife.
2) Apologies for any inaccuracies with the Vampire Saga details
Author: write_my_dreams
Pairing: Atsushi x Carbuncle, one-sided Justice x Carbuncle, Justice x Blanche
Genre: Vampires, angst, some romance
Warning: Experimental fic. No content to warn about.
Disclaimer: Sakurai Atsushi belongs to himself, the Vampire Saga characters mentioned belong to D and Asagi. The writing and the storyline belong to myself.
Chapter(s): 1/1
Summary: Witnessing a kiss between Justice and Blanche drives Carbuncle to the snowy castle grounds where she is soon joined by Atsushi.
Author's Comment: I've thought about writing a Vampire Saga fic for a few weeks but never got around to doing it. I had an Atsushi x Carbuncle dream over the summer and every so often it comes back to haunt me. Decided to finally write it.
Carbuncle’s boot heels clicked against the stones as she stalked down one of the castle’s many corridors. Dawn was little more than an hour away but she would find no peace. Restless thoughts filled her mind, swirling around her head in the same manner that the wind blew the snow outside the castle windows. Memories. Dark thoughts of things that would never be hers. Anger at Rafaga and Atsushi for talking about her heartache.
“Why are you incapable of closing your heart against Justice? He will never love you the way you want him to! Dreizehn didn’t and neither will Justice. You cannot continue to pine for him! I’ve watched you over the years, Buncle. I see your pain and how no one can comfort you…”
Thinking about those words made her blood boil. Rafaga was under the delusion that confronting her with brutal honesty would help her. Nothing could be done to heal the pain of unrequited love though. Once, she believed that time would ease her heartache. Then her relationship with a man who actually loved her. Neither had helped. The pain and heartache continued along with the impossible longing.
Carbuncle slowed to a halt and turned to look out the window. She watched the snow swirling outside the windows. She reached out, laying her hand on the chilled glass as she studied her pale face. Her eyes reflected a myriad of emotions though her expression revealed none of her turmoil. She drew her hand back, fingers curling into a fist as she felt the urge to drive it through the window. Shatter the glass so she could no longer see her features. She watched her reflection again. Watched her eyes darken as her fist trembled. Frustrated, Carbuncle whirled away and drew her red cloak tighter around her shoulders. She’d been so moody of late that anything was likely to upset her. All because of him. Carbuncle’s eyes closed as she thought of him. Justice. Sweet, handsome Justice with his heartbreaking resemblance to his father. The man she’d so dearly loved. And he, like his father, was beyond her reach.
“Do you love Justice for himself or because he shares Dreizehn’s features?”
She gritted her teeth as Atsushi’s word echoed through her mind. He had asked that hateful question several years ago. It had angered her then as much as it did now. Even more disturbing was the fact that she had struggled to answer Atsushi. She loved Justice for himself but she also loved that he shared his father’s features. Even now, she could not give him the clear answer that he wanted.
Frustrated, Carbuncle whirled away and stalked down the corridor. She had entered the disused portion of the castle for a reason. To think. To partake in no one’s company but her own. She’d hoped that the walk would cleanse her thoughts. Clearly, that hope had been in vain. Perhaps it was better to return to the comfort of her chamber. Surrender to her thoughts.
Carbuncle was about to turn back when a familiar scent washed over her. Justice! He was somewhere down this corridor. She hesitated, torn between the desire to see him and the desire to save her dignity. But to see Justice… Unbidden, her feet carried her down the corridor. She turned the corner then froze at the sight of Justice and Blanche embracing. His arms around her waist, fingers toying with the ends of her long hair. Carbuncle felt sick as she watched Justice lean in and kiss Blanche.
She couldn’t bear to see more.
The chill wind slapped her braids against her face, but she didn’t care. None of that mattered. The outside temperature, though it had little effect on her body, seemed as cold as her frozen heart. Why… why could she never have Dreizehn or Justice? Always, she came into their lives too late. A beautiful woman was already present in their lives by the time she became aware of her true feelings for them. And by then, it was too late for her love to be returned.
Hot tears gathered in her eyes. She closed them, feeling the tears slip down her cheeks and turn to blood-red gemstones. Crying gemstones was one of the few things that linked her to her beloved king and Justice.
“Should I worry that the snow and wind are more appealing than my company?”
The question startled her. She hadn’t sensed the presence of anyone! Yet she knew this voice. Had it been anyone else, her hand would have shot to the dagger at her waist. But she would not do that to him for the sound of his voice was one she knew all too well.
“I told you I wished to think.” Carbuncle cast Atsushi a brief glance before swiping the back of her hand across her cheeks. Shameful, to be caught crying in this manner. She was the knight of fire, not a weeping maiden!
You are no maiden, my dear.
Carbuncle shot her husband a dark glare. “Do not toy with me tonight.” Teasing her would only upset her further. “And do not read my thoughts!” She folded her arms across her chest as she whirled to face him. She was in no mood for games or her loving but often infuriating husband.
Atsushi reached out to brush his fingers down her arms. “Did something happen?”
The kiss flashed across her mind. “No.” She didn’t want to speak about this.
“I know you far too well to believe your lies.”
Carbuncle opened her mouth to speak then closed it. Atsushi’s dark eyes softened as he studied her face. She surprised them both when she suddenly slumped against Atsushi’s chest. Though his body tensed in surprise, he immediately raised his arms to wrap around her. Just as Justice had held Blanche in the corridor. “Justice… and Blanche were in one of the corridors. He embraced her just as you hold me, had his hands in her hair…” she pressed her face into Atsushi’s shirt. “And he kissed her.”
Atsushi cradled the back of her head while the other hand caressed her back. “If Justice takes Blanche as his wife, will you be able to stay loyal to him? To protect and serve not only him but her as well?”
The questions brought pain to her heart. First Rafaga and now Atsushi…
“Yes,” Carbuncle whispered. “I accepted Rosalie. I have no choice but to accept Blanche as well.” If she did not, then she would no longer be able to stand by Justice’s side. And the guardians. Rafaga, Kircheis, and Wilderness were like brothers to her. She would lose their companionship if she put her own desires above Justice’s. She was a knight. He was the prince. She had sworn fealty to him and could not let her personal desires overcome her.
Sighing, Carbuncle stepped out of her husband’s embrace. “I warned you that I would not make a good wife,” she said quietly as she looked up at him.
Atsushi merely looked amused. “I don’t recall telling you that I would make a good husband.”
That brought a smile to her lips. It soon faded as she continued to study his features. Truly, Carbuncle did not make a good wife. And she knew it. In love with other men, frequently in battle or training… but she couldn’t change herself. And she wouldn’t. She was a warrior, not a helpless maiden who relied on her husband’s strength.
“Stop.” Atsushi traced his thumb over her plush lips. He’d read her mind again, but she didn’t scold him as she usually would. “I did not ask you to marry me because I was looking for ‘a good wife.’ I have had one already and I would not change your or dampen your fire in any way, Carbuncle. It is your fire that first drew me to you after all.”
“My fire,” Carbuncle murmured. She laced her fingers with Atsushi’s then gave him a wicked smile. “And my corsets.” He had always loved her figure when it was tightly laced into a corset.
“And your legs.”
Carbuncle snorted but soon smiled again. Atsushi’s often-playful nature was the reason he’d been able to get so close to her. And he was determined. Determined enough to challenge her to a duel in order to court her.
“If you lose, you will accompany me to the prince’s ball. Be my lady for the night and dance with me.”
“And if you lose, you will stop pursuing me.”
Atsushi had defeated her in that duel. She’d been angry at the time but he had soon won her over.
“We should return to the castle.” Carbuncle looked up at the castle, blinking snow from her lashes. Her eyes returned to Atsushi when he cupped her face.
“Not yet.” His thumbs caressed her cheeks. “Since it was a kiss that so upset you, let me distract you.” He kissed her then, hands dropping to her slim waist to pull her close. He kissed her with the same passion that Justice had kissed Blanche. With the same love. Carbuncle slid her fingers into her husband’s shoulder-length hair, tangling in the silky strands as she kissed him back. They were still kissing in the snowy grounds when Carbuncle heard Rafaga calling for her.
“There’s a meeting.”
Atsushi gracefully untangled himself from her. “I won’t hold you back from your duties. I will be in our chamber if you feel inclined to return after your meeting.”
Carbuncle nodded. “I will.”
She sensed that she would need Atsushi’s presence after having to meet with Justice so soon after witnessing his kiss with Blanche.
Notes
1) Atsushi and Carbuncle kissing in the snow comes from my dream. It was a little different though since they were in a forest and Carbuncle was wearing her Rosenstrauss clothes. And Atsushi... was being a perv and feeling up his wife.
2) Apologies for any inaccuracies with the Vampire Saga details