[Week 4] Journal Entry / weisquared
Title: (within) The Tale of the Broken Urn
Author: weisquared
Exercise: Journal Entry
Word Count: 566
Characters/Pairings: Hinata's mother
Warnings: none
Reflection: I kind of focused on the "what prompted them" part of the prompt, and I liked the idea I came up with (that Hinata's mother wrote a collection of stories that doubled as a set of encoded letters to Hinata). However, I don't think I did a good job explaining the idea, and it ended up kind of boring and heavy handed as a result. I also ended up having trouble meeting wordcount, possibly since I didn't really have much to say about the day's "event." Does anyone have an idea how I could make it more interesting?
[decoded from the writings of Hyuga Akari, the Tale of the Broken Urn]
Dearest daughter,
If all goes well, in several months you will have a sibling. It is a peculiarity of the Main House that this should cause both joy and sorrow. The joy swells up from a primal and ineradicable part of human nature. The sorrow comes from the knowledge that should your sibling be born, it would force you to repeat your father’s tragedy and pit sibling against sibling and parent against child. When I told your father, I saw the conflict between the joy in my heart and the sorrow in my mind play out on his face and bearing.
I think you would make an excellent older sister. Already, I can see in you a patient and giving nature. Retirement from active duty has given me ample time to write and watch and think. In the afternoon, I watched you through the walls while you played with your cousins. The youngest ones toddled behind you, knowing that you will wait for them. A loud argument over a doll quieted after a few words from you. You gave a crying child with a scraped knee a hug and soon he was running around again. Unlike your father, I do not fear any more that Headship will be more difficult than you can handle. It is the cooperation and judgment of your peers and not your elders that will matter most, and for this, you are building a firm foundation.
I do not think we will tell anyone of our news yet. Your father and I need time to prepare. Purportedly, this is a house that cannot hide secrets for long, but I have always found that small misdirections work well. It is perhaps the result of the more modern tendency to encourage fighting talent over the more subtle ninja arts. We still teach our children poetry, but no longer teach how allusions and metaphors can convey information while also concealing it. Few pay attention to the intimate talk between husband and wife or a bedtime story told by mother to daughter. I hope, however, that you will learn to hear more than the straightforward meanings of words.
When you are old enough to decrypt the stories I have written for you, I hope you do not make the mistake to think of these letters to you as the stories’ “true meaning.” These stories that I am telling to you now and that I hope you remember in the future and pass them on to your children are what matters most. I want these stories to teach you that service need not need to mean slavery. I want to teach you that strength can be measured in many ways. I want you to know how precious you are to me.
Still, I encode these letters within the pages of the stories for you because you may find use for a more practical guidebook for leading our clan. Certainly, when I married your father and found myself thrust into this new role, I felt like I could do nothing but fumble blindly and hope not to ruin this family. Every new development was unexpected and unprepared for, and in many ways, this still is the case. However, I have learned to take on this role, as I know you will when the time comes.
Title: From the Private Journal of Hyuga Hanabi
Author: weisquared
Exercise: Journal Entry
Word Count: 520
Characters/Pairings: Hanabi
Warnings: none
Reflection: I was attempting to fix my problem with the previous journal entry (i.e. nothing really happens) with this one. It didn't at all address why Hanabi would be keeping a journal given the security risk (I think even academy students would be aware of this), so I guess it requires a suspension of disbelief. I do think that this one was more interesting, but Hanabi kind of comes off as a little too perfect here, I think. (Part of it might be because it's being told from her perspective and I'm writing her as being kind of show-offish, but it still feels unrealistic).
Private journal of Hyuga Hanabi. Do not read. If you do, know that I can literally see inside your brain, and I will kill you, chop you up into little pieces, and feed those pieces to the birds.
Six things for today:
1. I had the worst case of bed head today and spent forever trying to straighten it out. I ended up tying it back, even though I know it makes me look like a mini version of my cousin. Luckily, Neji was on a mission so no one could stick the two of us together for a photo like last time.
2. Since I was running late, I timed myself again to see how fast I could get to class. It wasn’t quite my fastest time, but it was close. I’m still trying to decide if it’s faster to detour around the market district or risk getting stuck behind a cart.
3. We got last week’s history of Konoha exam back. I totally aced the exam, which sticks me solidly at rank Number One. Number Two spent the rest of class glaring at me, as if this were some kind of surprise. I learned more than the test covered about the history of the village from bedtime stories as a toddler.
4. My lunch box had an exploding stink tag in it. Somehow, everyone forgets that I can see through walls. I stuck it into Number Two’s throwing star pouch instead. When it went off during weapons training, she couldn’t even complain to the teachers since it had her family’s signature all over it.
5. I stayed after class because the advanced tutorial is starting again. This module is covering poison use and detection. The tutorial was packed, though I think half the people were there because they have a crush on the instructor. Yamanaka Ino is pretty awesome, but I’d have gone even if I hadn’t heard that she was teaching this module. It certainly beats the old kunochi classes they used to have after class.
6. The inter-class tournament was in the late afternoon. I’d been looking forward to it for a while since we almost never get to do a no-holds-barred type spar in class and it’s hard to get a feel for how good everyone actually is. I’m not the only one who favors the family style over the academy form. Unfortunately, I was only there for the first round. I hit my opponent with a chakra strike to the chest, and he pretty much had a heart attack. The teachers were trying to comfort me that I couldn’t have known I’d be interrupting the implant for his congenital heart problem, but the thing is, I’d seen that same tangle of chakra in my sister. I was just too in the zone to stop myself in time.
Remember that warning at the top and bottom of every page? I’m repeating it again. If you happen to “accidentally” glance through the covers of this journal and focus on this page, I’m telling you to shut your eyes right now or know that I will hunt you down.
Author: weisquared
Exercise: Journal Entry
Word Count: 566
Characters/Pairings: Hinata's mother
Warnings: none
Reflection: I kind of focused on the "what prompted them" part of the prompt, and I liked the idea I came up with (that Hinata's mother wrote a collection of stories that doubled as a set of encoded letters to Hinata). However, I don't think I did a good job explaining the idea, and it ended up kind of boring and heavy handed as a result. I also ended up having trouble meeting wordcount, possibly since I didn't really have much to say about the day's "event." Does anyone have an idea how I could make it more interesting?
[decoded from the writings of Hyuga Akari, the Tale of the Broken Urn]
Dearest daughter,
If all goes well, in several months you will have a sibling. It is a peculiarity of the Main House that this should cause both joy and sorrow. The joy swells up from a primal and ineradicable part of human nature. The sorrow comes from the knowledge that should your sibling be born, it would force you to repeat your father’s tragedy and pit sibling against sibling and parent against child. When I told your father, I saw the conflict between the joy in my heart and the sorrow in my mind play out on his face and bearing.
I think you would make an excellent older sister. Already, I can see in you a patient and giving nature. Retirement from active duty has given me ample time to write and watch and think. In the afternoon, I watched you through the walls while you played with your cousins. The youngest ones toddled behind you, knowing that you will wait for them. A loud argument over a doll quieted after a few words from you. You gave a crying child with a scraped knee a hug and soon he was running around again. Unlike your father, I do not fear any more that Headship will be more difficult than you can handle. It is the cooperation and judgment of your peers and not your elders that will matter most, and for this, you are building a firm foundation.
I do not think we will tell anyone of our news yet. Your father and I need time to prepare. Purportedly, this is a house that cannot hide secrets for long, but I have always found that small misdirections work well. It is perhaps the result of the more modern tendency to encourage fighting talent over the more subtle ninja arts. We still teach our children poetry, but no longer teach how allusions and metaphors can convey information while also concealing it. Few pay attention to the intimate talk between husband and wife or a bedtime story told by mother to daughter. I hope, however, that you will learn to hear more than the straightforward meanings of words.
When you are old enough to decrypt the stories I have written for you, I hope you do not make the mistake to think of these letters to you as the stories’ “true meaning.” These stories that I am telling to you now and that I hope you remember in the future and pass them on to your children are what matters most. I want these stories to teach you that service need not need to mean slavery. I want to teach you that strength can be measured in many ways. I want you to know how precious you are to me.
Still, I encode these letters within the pages of the stories for you because you may find use for a more practical guidebook for leading our clan. Certainly, when I married your father and found myself thrust into this new role, I felt like I could do nothing but fumble blindly and hope not to ruin this family. Every new development was unexpected and unprepared for, and in many ways, this still is the case. However, I have learned to take on this role, as I know you will when the time comes.
Title: From the Private Journal of Hyuga Hanabi
Author: weisquared
Exercise: Journal Entry
Word Count: 520
Characters/Pairings: Hanabi
Warnings: none
Reflection: I was attempting to fix my problem with the previous journal entry (i.e. nothing really happens) with this one. It didn't at all address why Hanabi would be keeping a journal given the security risk (I think even academy students would be aware of this), so I guess it requires a suspension of disbelief. I do think that this one was more interesting, but Hanabi kind of comes off as a little too perfect here, I think. (Part of it might be because it's being told from her perspective and I'm writing her as being kind of show-offish, but it still feels unrealistic).
Private journal of Hyuga Hanabi. Do not read. If you do, know that I can literally see inside your brain, and I will kill you, chop you up into little pieces, and feed those pieces to the birds.
Six things for today:
1. I had the worst case of bed head today and spent forever trying to straighten it out. I ended up tying it back, even though I know it makes me look like a mini version of my cousin. Luckily, Neji was on a mission so no one could stick the two of us together for a photo like last time.
2. Since I was running late, I timed myself again to see how fast I could get to class. It wasn’t quite my fastest time, but it was close. I’m still trying to decide if it’s faster to detour around the market district or risk getting stuck behind a cart.
3. We got last week’s history of Konoha exam back. I totally aced the exam, which sticks me solidly at rank Number One. Number Two spent the rest of class glaring at me, as if this were some kind of surprise. I learned more than the test covered about the history of the village from bedtime stories as a toddler.
4. My lunch box had an exploding stink tag in it. Somehow, everyone forgets that I can see through walls. I stuck it into Number Two’s throwing star pouch instead. When it went off during weapons training, she couldn’t even complain to the teachers since it had her family’s signature all over it.
5. I stayed after class because the advanced tutorial is starting again. This module is covering poison use and detection. The tutorial was packed, though I think half the people were there because they have a crush on the instructor. Yamanaka Ino is pretty awesome, but I’d have gone even if I hadn’t heard that she was teaching this module. It certainly beats the old kunochi classes they used to have after class.
6. The inter-class tournament was in the late afternoon. I’d been looking forward to it for a while since we almost never get to do a no-holds-barred type spar in class and it’s hard to get a feel for how good everyone actually is. I’m not the only one who favors the family style over the academy form. Unfortunately, I was only there for the first round. I hit my opponent with a chakra strike to the chest, and he pretty much had a heart attack. The teachers were trying to comfort me that I couldn’t have known I’d be interrupting the implant for his congenital heart problem, but the thing is, I’d seen that same tangle of chakra in my sister. I was just too in the zone to stop myself in time.
Remember that warning at the top and bottom of every page? I’m repeating it again. If you happen to “accidentally” glance through the covers of this journal and focus on this page, I’m telling you to shut your eyes right now or know that I will hunt you down.