dream girl

[journeys__end]

Sometimes I let my emotions run my writing too much. Be honest with me.

boy, this is the saddest kind of goodbye.
it is time for me to give up.
your smiles were never meant for me,
even though you always directed them at me.
your touches just couldn't mean
what i wanted them to. you know, in other cultures,
kisses imply attraction.
no one laughs at your jokes like me,
and no one enjoys the sound of your voice
like me; i don't think you'll ever find someone
as willing to be yours as i am.

i could listen to you tell irrelevent stories
into the night, and i never get tired
of your incessant rants on politics,
or movies, or books, or rare indie music.
but i cannot make you want
what is right in front of you.

i cannot be the girl you dream of,
even though sometimes i doubt how rational
your dreams are. i refuse to change,
even for you, though i wish i could.
you dream of a girl with long hair
and a high-pitched laugh -
of a girl who got into college
because she can play soccer -
of a girl who drinks herself unconscious.

well, that may seem perfect to you,
but you're lonely. i see it
in your sad smile, and i read it
in your words every day. you want something
so much more than a one-night stand,
but you're too blind to realize
that's what you're asking for.

you won't take a chance on me. so this is goodbye
to you and everything we could be. this is a goodbye
to the chances you never took.