Comments | write_away: Thursday Published Writing Post

blue_lightning in write_away

Thursday Published Writing Post

May 20, 2005 00:37

Hi guys! This is a new feature on this community; its intent is to offer a different published piece of prose or poetry each week. This first piece is a poem.

( Radio, Radio )

feature: thursday published writing

Comments 12

kvschwartz May 19 2005, 21:43:44 UTC

I think it's gorgeous. At first I disliked "into the black earth", it seemed redundant, but on second reading it made perfect sense.

Why can't the poems in PS be as easy to follow as that poem? Huh? Whyyyyy?

blue_lightning May 19 2005, 21:47:12 UTC

PS is going to hell in a handbasket; I have no answer for you there!

(I did, however, agree with you on "into" in my first reading, but it made sense in retrospect)

That said, one of your recent posts has made me curious, and I'm trying to find your poem with "Boticelli" in the title. Could you maybe point the way?

kvschwartz May 19 2005, 22:00:58 UTC

http://www.livejournal.com/community/kvs_poem_drafts/73370.html?mode=reply

an earlier draft (with one more stanza) is posted in the_inkslingers

kvschwartz May 19 2005, 22:03:20 UTC

I have to admit, I'm clueless about the title of the poem. "Radio, Radio"? Why?

Thread 5

charisma May 19 2005, 22:53:52 UTC

I'm really bad at 'getting' these kind of abstract metaphor poems. Until reading the commentary, I didn't really understand what it was about.

I like some parts of it like 'noodle necks' and shaking like long eyelashes in a hurricane.

But overall it leaves me feeling confused and unhappy, becuase I fail to understand the message entirely.

attawba May 20 2005, 01:37:57 UTC

a clearing where
she works burying swans alive
into the black earth.

i like the imagery created with this and carried through up to 'she makes me feed them'. it's very powerful and opposite to the image of 'field' and 'grass', you know that peaceful and opened scene? Which is also vaporised by the fact that the swans are black. But I didn’t get that bit about the radio. It seemed completely unrelated.

c_r_crum May 20 2005, 08:28:07 UTC

Loved the working... hated the mental image it gave me. (I have an overactive imagination :( *cries for the dead dream swans)

18bipsout May 21 2005, 11:05:30 UTC

I loved the imagery. It was very creepy.

Thanks for explaining; I didn't get the meaning. I knew as I read that there was an overall metaphor, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the swans were representing. I hope if I keep reading poetry like this I'll get better at understanding it.

blue_lightning May 21 2005, 13:53:04 UTC

In a way, I'm almost sorry I made mention to the meaning - I didn't want anyone to be frustrated by the inability to find that meaning on their own. If all that's left at the end is a haunting mystery, maybe that's best; it certainly gives the reader more freedom to take from this piece what they will!

dew_dropped May 21 2005, 16:28:23 UTC

I was trying to find out, and then I saw your mention and stopped wondering, which I didn't consider to be negative at all, but maybe that's not what you were going for.

I've also been a little bogged with my Tuesday Prompt. Perhaps I did not use my prompt in the correct way?
You might point me in the right direction so that next Tuesday I might do a better job of it.