Flighty response.

Sep 08, 2007 12:22

A stop light ( Read more... )

type: prose, user: dr-worm1125

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Comments 6

dragonlaire September 9 2007, 03:51:21 UTC
Flighty, yes, but amusing. A few comments on style ( ... )

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dr_worm1125 September 10 2007, 11:32:47 UTC
I appreciate you taking so much time to critique this. When I get time later today I'm going to revise it.

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dr_worm1125 September 10 2007, 21:02:39 UTC
Some things I agreed with you on, some I didn't. I think it's a bit smoother now ( ... )

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cruithear_lorr September 10 2007, 07:30:42 UTC
I thought this was funny. General silliness, like a Chinese fire drill, works for something with this brevity.

I have heard people use the word "scenewhore" many times, so technically it is a word where I'm from. I think it describes an individual who changes their physical appearance, hobbies, likes/dislikes, acquantances, etc. to fit into a certain stereotypical role (ie. goth, emo, all the high school cliques). Only they do it to an obnoxious extreme.

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dragonlaire September 10 2007, 11:06:34 UTC
Well, it's an English word if recognized by a dictionary; it's not in mine, thank goodness. I come from Brooklyn and currently live in a sophisticated city, so I can appreciate regional dialect. A lot of my diction as a teenager will never appear in the OED either.

I don't object to using vernacular expressions; it's a valid technique in literature. But in this case, the use of the word is probably confined to teenagers, perhaps even within a limited region. That shrinks the readership, but my real objection is that it's an isolated element and calls attention to itself, a situation that would be different only if it were surrounded by kin. Does it serve any particular purpose in this example that another description wouldn't provide? Is the concept itself even necessary to drive the narrative?

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quothic September 13 2007, 19:05:46 UTC
I liked this, and I liked the use of the word scenewhore, though it did produce a little stumble in the flow of my reading. I had never heard it before but I could figure out its meaning. I'm not sure I agree that it limits anything, but thats just my opinion.

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