Today is Today
Howdy nothing much happened to day I woke up and went to work blah blah not much exictment I really wish my old bud john would get in touch I'd love to talk to him again it seems alot is ogin on in his life and I dont know anyhting about it. I really just wanna catch up with him and make sure he's got his head on straight and not fuckin up, nothing bad about him I just worry, I hope Sarah is happy and getting alone ok with Chris I want her to be happy she deserves it. I'm glad things are working out for Heather and Aaron they're both wonderful people and deserve each it makes me happy to see how much they are in love and I'll try to do my best to help them out if they ever need some helping. It seems like in my life what I do best is help people out I listen to them and let them think about thier problems, I dont ever think it's over whleming or thing like that I do because I love to see people happy and want them to feel comfortable about everything in thier life. Other subject is I feel I have a lot to atone for. I dont know why but for everything wrong that I do I feel I have to make up a hundred times over, or I just dont feel right about myself, I think that is why it was so hard for me to get over breaking up with Ashley I couldnt bare the thought of how I hurt her. I just wish life was simple no hate or violence, a world where half of your happiness comes from how much money you, but sadly and ultimately I cant change the world on such a scale I just to make the peoples' lives around me better by doing what I can for them when they need me.
Different subject: These are some thoughts about myself. It's funny how I'm so willing to help other people but dont like help when I need it. I've always been this way I've always tried to do everything for myself, figure it on my own, but some times there are issues that you just cant sort out by yourself, I think it's cause I'm always to hard on myself I mean super tough. It's like a couple weeks ago
I was feeling down on myself and all pissed at myself cause I spend my saved rent money on accident and then led to me feeling about my life, I'm not where I wanna be in life I can hardly pay my bills and Gosh this sucks I'm never gonna get anywhere, never have the famliy I want nothing, I just really wanted to throw everything away. When I really needed to talk to someone about my feelings I didnt I kept all locked away and kept a little more to myself than normal. I dont think anyone noticed, no one ever really notices when I'm not feeling right if they do they ever ask which is cool I dont expect them to. For some reason I have a hard time really telling people about my true feelings maybe it's because I feel vulnerable or something there's been times when I've tried but I just never said anything. I like my LJ it cleans the soul. I just feel like ranting and bam here it is just waiting on me to tell it something.
Different subject: These are some thoughts about myself. It's funny how I'm so willing to help other people but dont like help when I need it. I've always been this way I've always tried to do everything for myself, figure it on my own, but some times there are issues that you just cant sort out by yourself, I think it's cause I'm always to hard on myself I mean super tough. It's like a couple weeks ago
I was feeling down on myself and all pissed at myself cause I spend my saved rent money on accident and then led to me feeling about my life, I'm not where I wanna be in life I can hardly pay my bills and Gosh this sucks I'm never gonna get anywhere, never have the famliy I want nothing, I just really wanted to throw everything away. When I really needed to talk to someone about my feelings I didnt I kept all locked away and kept a little more to myself than normal. I dont think anyone noticed, no one ever really notices when I'm not feeling right if they do they ever ask which is cool I dont expect them to. For some reason I have a hard time really telling people about my true feelings maybe it's because I feel vulnerable or something there's been times when I've tried but I just never said anything. I like my LJ it cleans the soul. I just feel like ranting and bam here it is just waiting on me to tell it something.