what am i doing??
What am I doing, seems to be the one question on my mind lately...
My life has changed alot in these past few months, and I'm not sure i'm ready to keep up...and move forward...I have been thinking alot about past relationships, past friendships and past emotions that I had a hard time expressing. I am hoping that the relationship I am in now is going to work out alot better...in fact I am sure it is going to, because things feel alot different this time around...I'm going to marry this one I'm sure, but I have some "cold feet" issues...I get nervous as to why she agreed to marry me, when we are going to get married and whether or not this is going to last....
I love her with all of my heart...but it scares me to leave her....I keep trying to put myself in her position for the deployment and see things how she sees them...i keep hoping that I will understand her thoughts and feelings...i know she is 'claiming to be honest with me' about how she feels about this deployment...how she is going to be not being able to talk to me for months...i know it is hard for her not to be able to talk to me for a week when i'm out in the field, how is she going to survive months????
I sometimes wonder if we are rushing our love because we are scared that the other will not be here when I come back home...or are we rushing because it is the only way she feels comfortable moving down here to be with me...or are we not rushing at all, is this how our world, our lives are suppose to go???
My life has changed alot in these past few months, and I'm not sure i'm ready to keep up...and move forward...I have been thinking alot about past relationships, past friendships and past emotions that I had a hard time expressing. I am hoping that the relationship I am in now is going to work out alot better...in fact I am sure it is going to, because things feel alot different this time around...I'm going to marry this one I'm sure, but I have some "cold feet" issues...I get nervous as to why she agreed to marry me, when we are going to get married and whether or not this is going to last....
I love her with all of my heart...but it scares me to leave her....I keep trying to put myself in her position for the deployment and see things how she sees them...i keep hoping that I will understand her thoughts and feelings...i know she is 'claiming to be honest with me' about how she feels about this deployment...how she is going to be not being able to talk to me for months...i know it is hard for her not to be able to talk to me for a week when i'm out in the field, how is she going to survive months????
I sometimes wonder if we are rushing our love because we are scared that the other will not be here when I come back home...or are we rushing because it is the only way she feels comfortable moving down here to be with me...or are we not rushing at all, is this how our world, our lives are suppose to go???