I hate you
Here's a random list of things I hate. I hope it's pretty inclusive.
Good looking bands and singers. And people who like good looking bands and singers. "No, I like them for the music, honest."
People who like old music and hate modern art. What you like is dead. It is no longer relevant. We live in a different age. Listen to the traffic and look at the skyscrapers.
Liberals. Bunch of whiny hypocrites.
Libertarians. Sooner or later they'll be whining about people not following the rules in the carpark.
Communists. It's nice in theory, but it does not work. No matter how nice it is, that does not change the facts of history. Unicorns are nice too. But so what? If they did exist they'd probably stab you with their horns, kick, spit, smell and spread tuberculosis.
Right-wing people without any money. How stupid can you get?
Rich people. Bastards.
The Liberal Democrat party. Opportunists, opportunists, liars, cheats and frauds.
Anyone in any position of authority, whether boss, politician, or religious leader. You are nothing special. You have no right to tell another human being what to do. The higher up you are, the less you should be paid. It is only fair.
Business studies students. Nothing you learn is of value. Everyone is laughing at you. You could be learning something about the truth and beauty of the universe, but you're just a greedy fuckhead who'll end up in the Human Resources department of a factory.
Banks and related financial institutions. There's a reason every major religion forbids usury. I'm not sure what it is, but it's probably to do with the fact that they forsaw what an utter fucktard you are. Stop trying to make money from other people's desperation.
Pagans. Grow up. There's a reason Christianity is about 100000 times more popular, and that's because it (a) promotes positive moral values through the medium of good storytelling, (b) makes sense at least slightly, (c) has never endorsed human sacrifice or having sex with horses and (d) was made up a lot longer than 50 years ago.
Muslims. Well done on making Christian fundamentalists look like nice people. Incredibly self-righteous, and for people who claim to be spiritual they're amazingly hung up over beards, clothes, hair, veils, headpieces, dresses, skirts, etc. Would be better if they were all terrorists, but, fact fans, most of the coolest Palestinians have always been Christians or Marxist atheists.
Buddhists/anyone who believes in reincarnation. It's impossible. It's stupid. It's illogical. We have no immaterial soul. Otherwise, buddhism's pretty sensible apart from...
Karma, and believers therein. Santa Claus for people with crystal pendants.
Spiritualist mediums and their clients. The former are crooks or self-deluded. The latter are self-deluded.
Pick-and-mix new agers (and Japanese, who've been doing this a long time). Religion isn't like making pasta pictures at nursery school where you can just stick anything on and the teacher will pat you on the head. It has to make sense. You can't just believe things because they're cute; beliefs have consequences.
Fundamentalist Christians. There may be some hatred in the New Testament, but I wouldn't say it is the dominant emotion, dullards. How much of the Bible have you read? Did you get stuck around Leviticus which is why you're always banging on about homosexuals and menstruating women not mixing shellfish with goat's milk?
Liberal Christians. Because they don't believe in anything. If your only moral value is "be nice", what the fuck gives you the moral authority to demand money for churches and stipends and emblems of human execution. And how dare you force me to sing?
Religious people who follow secular morality. There's not one in a hundred people who call themselves a Christian who believes anything different than the basic tenets of liberal humanism (with some kind of afterlife and God stuff tagged on that they're not too sure about). There's not one of you who in Abraham's place would offer to kill your son.
People who say they're agnostics. Skepticism is good, and people can change their mind, but you have to form some kind of hypothesis. Do you act as if God exists, or not? It does matter.
God. If He existed, he'd be a cunt. The world was created by Satan. There is no excuse for this thing we call life.
People who "don't believe science". Uh, do you have any idea about the level of human knowledge and expertise that goes into making this here internet thing run? I guarantee that the reason for your fear and suspicion is the same as all fear and suspicion, i.e. ignorance.
Cynics. Wusses.
Men. Partly because I'm scared of them all, but they're all either unemotional automata obsessed with cars and machines to the exclusion of anything human, or they're...
Sensitive guys. They think they're deep and understanding, but they're just self-involved. Spend less time listening to music and more time listening to human beings. Devoting your life to sitting in your bedroom and wondering how misunderstood you are will not help any human being. At least arrogant insensitive guys buy girls drinks.
Pretty girls. Because they get everything handed to them on a silver plate.
TV News. Utter shit.
The entire mass media: television, films, magazines, newspapers. Not one among them tells the truth even slightly.
Americans. Guilt by association, sometimes. But they all talk stupid and tolerate stupidity.
The Scottish. For reasons eloquently outlined in Trainspotting. Self-loathing alcoholic philistines.
The British. Smug anti-intellectual philistine racist cunts.
Good looking bands and singers. And people who like good looking bands and singers. "No, I like them for the music, honest."
People who like old music and hate modern art. What you like is dead. It is no longer relevant. We live in a different age. Listen to the traffic and look at the skyscrapers.
Liberals. Bunch of whiny hypocrites.
Libertarians. Sooner or later they'll be whining about people not following the rules in the carpark.
Communists. It's nice in theory, but it does not work. No matter how nice it is, that does not change the facts of history. Unicorns are nice too. But so what? If they did exist they'd probably stab you with their horns, kick, spit, smell and spread tuberculosis.
Right-wing people without any money. How stupid can you get?
Rich people. Bastards.
The Liberal Democrat party. Opportunists, opportunists, liars, cheats and frauds.
Anyone in any position of authority, whether boss, politician, or religious leader. You are nothing special. You have no right to tell another human being what to do. The higher up you are, the less you should be paid. It is only fair.
Business studies students. Nothing you learn is of value. Everyone is laughing at you. You could be learning something about the truth and beauty of the universe, but you're just a greedy fuckhead who'll end up in the Human Resources department of a factory.
Banks and related financial institutions. There's a reason every major religion forbids usury. I'm not sure what it is, but it's probably to do with the fact that they forsaw what an utter fucktard you are. Stop trying to make money from other people's desperation.
Pagans. Grow up. There's a reason Christianity is about 100000 times more popular, and that's because it (a) promotes positive moral values through the medium of good storytelling, (b) makes sense at least slightly, (c) has never endorsed human sacrifice or having sex with horses and (d) was made up a lot longer than 50 years ago.
Muslims. Well done on making Christian fundamentalists look like nice people. Incredibly self-righteous, and for people who claim to be spiritual they're amazingly hung up over beards, clothes, hair, veils, headpieces, dresses, skirts, etc. Would be better if they were all terrorists, but, fact fans, most of the coolest Palestinians have always been Christians or Marxist atheists.
Buddhists/anyone who believes in reincarnation. It's impossible. It's stupid. It's illogical. We have no immaterial soul. Otherwise, buddhism's pretty sensible apart from...
Karma, and believers therein. Santa Claus for people with crystal pendants.
Spiritualist mediums and their clients. The former are crooks or self-deluded. The latter are self-deluded.
Pick-and-mix new agers (and Japanese, who've been doing this a long time). Religion isn't like making pasta pictures at nursery school where you can just stick anything on and the teacher will pat you on the head. It has to make sense. You can't just believe things because they're cute; beliefs have consequences.
Fundamentalist Christians. There may be some hatred in the New Testament, but I wouldn't say it is the dominant emotion, dullards. How much of the Bible have you read? Did you get stuck around Leviticus which is why you're always banging on about homosexuals and menstruating women not mixing shellfish with goat's milk?
Liberal Christians. Because they don't believe in anything. If your only moral value is "be nice", what the fuck gives you the moral authority to demand money for churches and stipends and emblems of human execution. And how dare you force me to sing?
Religious people who follow secular morality. There's not one in a hundred people who call themselves a Christian who believes anything different than the basic tenets of liberal humanism (with some kind of afterlife and God stuff tagged on that they're not too sure about). There's not one of you who in Abraham's place would offer to kill your son.
People who say they're agnostics. Skepticism is good, and people can change their mind, but you have to form some kind of hypothesis. Do you act as if God exists, or not? It does matter.
God. If He existed, he'd be a cunt. The world was created by Satan. There is no excuse for this thing we call life.
People who "don't believe science". Uh, do you have any idea about the level of human knowledge and expertise that goes into making this here internet thing run? I guarantee that the reason for your fear and suspicion is the same as all fear and suspicion, i.e. ignorance.
Cynics. Wusses.
Men. Partly because I'm scared of them all, but they're all either unemotional automata obsessed with cars and machines to the exclusion of anything human, or they're...
Sensitive guys. They think they're deep and understanding, but they're just self-involved. Spend less time listening to music and more time listening to human beings. Devoting your life to sitting in your bedroom and wondering how misunderstood you are will not help any human being. At least arrogant insensitive guys buy girls drinks.
Pretty girls. Because they get everything handed to them on a silver plate.
TV News. Utter shit.
The entire mass media: television, films, magazines, newspapers. Not one among them tells the truth even slightly.
Americans. Guilt by association, sometimes. But they all talk stupid and tolerate stupidity.
The Scottish. For reasons eloquently outlined in Trainspotting. Self-loathing alcoholic philistines.
The British. Smug anti-intellectual philistine racist cunts.