(no subject)
So, I'm working a lot more now. The lady that did the billing/accounts receivable/contract set-up at my job left, and I am taking her place. Of course, she's been gone for a week, and we aren't getting a new A/P person until Monday, so that means I've been trying to learn and do a new job while simultaneously performing all of my pre-existing job functions. It hasn't been a very relaxing time. I got a raise, which is nice, but I don't feel like these people are dying to have me move into that position, meaning I don't feel like I've got the vote of confidence from either my directly-involved co-workers or the company at large. In my mind, they're kind of like, "Well, it makes the most sense to have her try to fill the position, but let's face it, she's really going to fuck that shit up."
It could be real. It could all be in my head. But if you're me, it doesn't matter, because the reality is that everyone thinks you're stupid and incompetent, and you may as well stop trying to fashion a career out of the disjointed shards of failure littering the wastelands of your life, because that shit is just hopeless.
The worst thing of all, though, is that I hardly ever get to see Francisco. And for what? For the most tedious bullcrap on earth, that's what. I'm missing out on almost everything my son does, and it's not even at the cost of something I can say that I love, or that I feel is making the world a better place.
It's not easy being a working mom. I just deleted a whole paragraph about that, but it will suffice to say that it's just not fucking easy.
It could be real. It could all be in my head. But if you're me, it doesn't matter, because the reality is that everyone thinks you're stupid and incompetent, and you may as well stop trying to fashion a career out of the disjointed shards of failure littering the wastelands of your life, because that shit is just hopeless.
The worst thing of all, though, is that I hardly ever get to see Francisco. And for what? For the most tedious bullcrap on earth, that's what. I'm missing out on almost everything my son does, and it's not even at the cost of something I can say that I love, or that I feel is making the world a better place.
It's not easy being a working mom. I just deleted a whole paragraph about that, but it will suffice to say that it's just not fucking easy.