Title: Retrograde Chapter 28 part 7
Author: Guardian Erin
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: BtVS/Ats
Word Count: ~3,800
Warnings: blood, language. R rating for the series.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. The originals? I don't know them. >_>
Summary: Conclusion. Galen wakes and joins the group.
Full chapter here! (Wordcount is ~10,000)
"What are you doing in my room?" Galen questioned. He had heard the door open, but didn't speak until he felt the unwelcome intrusion.
Sarah closed the door lightly behind her, leaning against the frame. "How did you know it was me?"
"I'm getting used to the footsteps," Galen said quietly, but really it was the eerily silent way that Sarah moved that gave her away. Everyone else made a certain noise when they walked. He knew that Buffy wouldn't come anywhere near him now if Sarah were hanging around, and it was starting to trouble him. "I told you I wanted to rest."
Sarah didn't heed this, only took it as vulnerability and slipped closer to him. "You know I'd do anything for you, right?" She slipped onto the bed where he was sitting, blood-flecked sheets spilled around him. His skin was sticking too much, and he was too sore to lie comfortably.
Galen drew a breath while she slid against him. Her fingers moved over his neck towards his jaw, but Galen turned his head the other way instead. He flinched and rubbed his face when his eyes bothered him again, and Sarah dropped her hand. She sat quietly beside him, almost comfortable to be there while Galen waited for his eyes to cooperate again. The spasms weren't so difficult this time, and he was able to relax after a moment and open his eyes. From what little he could see, it was even darker. He was used to the low level of light, but the ink black additions were unnatural. He was all too used to that as well. The shadows filled him with the anxiety to leave, and when he glanced in Sarah's direction, the sight of black leeches - swarms of them - made him startle and then sit very still.
"What's wrong?" Sarah questioned, and he smelled carrion.
"Nothing," Galen kept his head tilted away from her. Then a few noises made him look hopefully towards the door. "Who's downstairs?"
"Almost everyone," Sarah responded hesitantly. "Want me to tell them to keep it down?"
"No," Galen said, disregarding her as he flung a hand out to find the clothes that Buffy had left. "I want you to get out of my room."
Sarah stood up, surprised by his change in mood. She watched, amused as Galen found his shirt and sorted it, pulling on the dark fabric and then fumbling with buttons. "I could help you-"
"Get out," Galen repeated.
That made Sarah pause, tilting her head as she tried to figure him out. It was possible she'd read him wrong. She could always kill the slayer and take her form, but that would take a lot more work than it was worth to avoid the bitch's friends. She just had to be sweeter to him, and savor the thrill of being under his skin, under the radar. "I'll be waiting for you outside," she informed him, slipping off through the door.
~~
It was a surreal feeling for Willow to be standing in the same room as her friends while they were trying to save her from a mystical coma. Even more surreal was the sensation of only being half in the world, even by standards of an out-of-body experience. She found it was difficult to keep herself in the room and hold the shadows back at the same time. She was afraid that they would reach out and take her in, and knew that they could. It was like walking in a nightmare, and if she lost focus she could quickly find herself in some hellish place.
"Buffy, please listen," Willow pleaded. She could almost hear Spike telling her that it was useless, but she knew that her friends were connected enough that if she pushed hard enough to get the right person to hear her, they would. "It's Sarah. Sarah," she repeated. "She's a demon. A life-sucking hag of a demon. You need to kick her ass for me. Please… please."
Buffy went on reading her book, completely heedless to anything around her. Willow sighed and trembled with frustration, feeling the darkness pulling around her.
"I feel like something is trying to take me," Willow said to the darkness, only mildly comforted to know that Spike was there. "Am I going to die? Is that how this works? The darkness takes me?"
"No, that's something else," Spike's voice came back like an echo. She saw a brief flash of white, and that was it. She wondered what he was doing in there. "These are living nightmares. They want you… to thrive, to have form."
"You mean, like, they don't exist otherwise?" Willow questioned. Spike responded with some vague noise of agreement. She hoped that he would not leave her alone here, but did not want to say it out loud.
"I've found something," Wesley said calmly, raising his voice only enough so that the others could hear him clearly. His lack of enthusiasm did not bode well with Willow, and she came closer to see what it was. Angel was also at Wesley's side, looking over his shoulder. "A powerful spell to keep one in a stasis of some sort," Wesley explained aloud.
"How powerful?" Giles questioned, adjusting his glasses with curiosity.
"Something that Wolfram and Hart would operate with," Wesley said. "Somewhat gaudy but very potent."
"How do you break it?" Buffy asked.
"We need to keep checking," Fred reminded her. "The symptoms have to match… or we might be doing more harm than good." She smiled at Buffy gingerly and then Wesley. "I'll look into this, just in case. The rest of you should keep looking."
"It isn't Wolfram and Hart!" Willow cried. "It's that skanky thing upstairs!"
Willow's heart caught in her throat when Buffy's gaze lifted, brow creasing as she frowned, listening. "Yes!" Willow gasped, almost too excited to seize the moment. "I'm here, Buffy! I'm right here! Can't you hear me?"
Buffy's gaze went through her and turned to the stairs, where Angel was already sneaking a glance. Galen stood at the top of the stairs, feeling the railing and standing perfectly still, head tilted slightly to listen. There was a prolonged silence and then Buffy finally spoke. "Galen?"
"Galen," Willow repeated. "Can you hear me?" She turned to look at Spike. "Talk to him! Tell him that I'm here."
"Why should I?" the demon's voice came back to her, and she realized the shadows had retreated further.
"Because I can help you," Willow told him. She was interrupted by a movement above, and suddenly Sarah was at Galen's side.
"Careful," she said in a sugar-rich tone that made Willow feel sick to her stomach. "I'll help you down," she said, linking arms and fingers with Galen, cautioning with every step as they came down.
"I know what you are," Willow informed her as the demon continued her charade. "It's only a matter of time before my friends figure it out, and then Buffy is going to be all over you."
"Here we are," Sarah said when they reached the last step. Galen stumbled and fell against Sarah's steady hands, her firm support quickly sorting him out.
"Thank you," he said under his breath, smiling fractionally. He closed his eyes when she ran a hand through his hair. Willow found herself backing away from them, unable to bear the scene in front of her, and a little afraid. She watched Sarah escort Galen to a seat, and dimly heard them converse. Willow felt faraway, and then she let the darkness envelop her again.
~~
"What atmospheric displacement properties does it have?" Fred asked, readying her fingers at the keyboard. She had a database constructed with the information on various spells, hexes, curses, and other mystical forces that could put a witch as powerful as Willow into a coma.
"It leaves a greenish tint in the air where the spell is cast," Wesley said very quietly, scanning the page in the book and double-checking with his translations. "It also leaves behind… the distinct smell of sulfur."
"Sulfur," Fred repeated. "Got it."
"We'll never be able to get back into Wolfram and Hart to see if anything smells like sulfur," Buffy commented ruefully. She leant against the desk, staring out at the lobby where Sarah and Galen sat. They had sat there for an hour at least, talking about the good old days. She didn't remember any hospital experience as fun, but they were so tight. It was like seeing two Scoobies - the horrifying shared experiences just bonded them together.
Angel had sat with them for a while, on his guard, but it was too uncomfortable in the room for him. He finally left with an excuse to clean weapons, and then the tension in the room seemed to drop. The two seemed to forget anything in the room except for one another.
"This is frustrating to say the least," Giles commented, resting beside Buffy.
She watched Galen take Sarah's hands, tracing the lines of her fingers, and her own trembled madly so she had to wring them together. "You're preaching to the choir. If he remembered me…. Well, maybe he wouldn't be sitting with me, but he wouldn't be sitting with her."
Giles made a thoughtful noise and took off his glasses as if to inspect them for smudges. "Ah. I was referring to Willow's case, but I'll just agree with heartfelt woes."
Buffy tilted her head up, feeling stupid. "I'm getting caught up, aren't I?" She turned to look at Giles, face creased with worry and sadness. "Willow should come first. Galen doesn't need my help right now. He's… look at him. He's happy. At least for now."
"It's a miracle he is walking at all," Giles said, tapping his glasses lightly against the palm of his hand. "Let him have his moment. Then he should rest up soon. You'll have to except that he's getting on, and it has to be in whatever way suits him. There's been trauma. Perhaps this life doesn't suit him anymore. He'll go with whatever is right for him, and there is nothing you can do to change that now. The more you push, the more you push him away."
"I just don't feel like she's right for him," Buffy said.
"Then he'll have to discover that himself. He is here, right now. He has redemption. If you care about him truly, you will let him have that, and hope that he gets whatever makes him happiest," Giles said. It almost pained him himself to acknowledge that who he saw was no longer the vampire he conditioned himself to distrust. That vampire was long dead, but had at least gone out in a virtuous blaze. And out of the ashes, a human form was revived, wiped clean of sin. He wondered how much it pained Angel to see him.
~~
"Remember when we used to do this every day?" Sarah asked as Galen lightly ran his finger tips over the grooves on her palms. She didn't coax out too much of the memory so that he wouldn't notice her doing it. "Maybe you don't. You were sick at the time. Seems like every time I see you, you're sick. You might be allergic to me."
"I met you after," Galen said, although he couldn't exactly recall when he met her. She was just there, but he knew somehow that he had been sick and lost for a long time before he really met anyone at all. "You were the first person I really trusted."
Sarah couldn't help but glow. It was almost nice, in a weird way. It wasn't very often she was able to enjoy feeding off of the pleasant memories. They usually turned painful very quickly. That was good also, but this was just sickly sweet, with the darker parts giving it a smoky flavor. If she played her cards right, this would end brutally.
"We go well together, you and I," she told him. "We complement each other, in fact."
"You met me at a bad time in my life," he told her quietly.
"That's why I'll understand you more than anyone ever will," Sarah told him. She reached out a hand to pet his head again, and Galen let his eyes fall shut, tired. He didn't need to move, but Sarah sort of wrapped herself around him, brushing their heads together. It made him feel weaker, like he just wanted to sleep. Instead he kept holding onto her hand, thumb brushing over the scars on her wrist. They comforted him in the way that the silence after a nightmare comforts a child.
Sarah stopped his hand and brought it up, letting his fingers touch the underside of her chin. "Do you want to feel my face? I'll let you."
"No," Galen carefully extracted his hand. "I remember what you look like." He clasped his hands together nervously, drew his feet up to sit cross-legged on the couch and put his hands into his lap nervously. "I can't remember you hair, though. What color is it?"
"It's blonde," Sarah told him, running her hand through the long locks.
"A natural blonde," Galen murmured. He let himself smile. "I remember. That's my favorite hair color."
"You might have mentioned that before," Sarah smiled in return.
"I think I have a thing for blondes," he commented, mostly to himself.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have excellent taste in women?"
"Not that I know of," Galen said. He felt her move in and, almost like a motion of panic, put up his hands just in time to catch her from kissing him. He wasn't fully aware of her intentions, but felt her breath as she made an amused sound, and it made him uneasy.
"What's wrong?" Sarah asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"I'm just… tired," he said, relaxing fractionally but not letting her move any closer.
"So am I," Sarah said, sitting back. "But you should really get some rest. You look like death warmed over."
Galen snorted softly. "Thanks."
"Sorry," Sarah said, reaching out to run a hand over his head again. He was so handsome, and smelled so nice with all of that blood just sitting beneath the skin. The dark bruising just made him more enticing somehow, like he was already tenderized or something. "I'll stay with you tonight."
"Thank you," Galen said.
"Come on," Sarah took his hands and very slowly coaxed him into standing up, although it took a while for him to move. "I'll help you get ready for bed."
"Could you wait for me?" Galen asked her. "Upstairs I mean?"
"What for?" Sarah questioned.
"I'm a bit peckish is all," Galen said, lightly touching his side. "I'd like to get a spot of something to eat, and it makes me uneasy right now."
"I'll get you something," Sarah offered.
"No," Galen shook his head. "I'd just like to help myself a bit right now. I'm tired of this thing, people wanting to spoon feed me or something. Just go to your room, and I'll find my way, alright? I don't want to sleep in my room right now. So if you hear something bashing into the walls a bit later on… that'll be me."
Sarah smiled a bit. "I could call to you at least."
"Don't you dare," Galen said, so defensively it made her laugh.
"Alright, Mr. Independent Guy."
"Got that right."
"I'll just go to my dark, lonely room," Sarah said, "and wait for the handsome prince to come and save me."
She backed off slowly and Galen stood still listening for a long time, even after she was long gone.
~~
Cordelia watched Galen in the lobby for a long time, then went back to find the busy little bees buried in their bookwork.
"The queen finally retired to her chambers," she said to Buffy. When it took Buffy a while to lift her head, she was surprised to find the deeply-entrenched look wasn't just an act.
"What?"
"Did you really not notice that he's alone now?" Cordelia asked. Fred and Wesley resisted a glance, moving themselves closer to their work and continuing with the database quietly.
Buffy looked out from the doorway, barely catching a glimpse of him before she shied back to her book. "Does he need something?"
"You should go talk to him," Cordelia encouraged.
"I can't," Buffy whispered, shaking her head. She lifted her eyes to Cordelia, then looked at Galen again, although she could only see the dark pajama pants she had borrowed from Angel, and his bare feet on the floor, toes curled. "But… you should just go over there for a second. Don't leave him standing there like that. Please."
Cordelia begrudgingly gave into the suggestion. "You need to talk to him," she warned Buffy.
"I will, I just… not right now." It was about all that Buffy could say, and she tried not to look over anymore or wonder if Galen was looking her way, or scratching his arm, or shivering.
Angel came out from the back room, holding a newly polished sword in each hand. He paused when he saw Galen, and the other man looked back at him, following his movements while Angel went to the weapons cabinet. After he locked up the cabinet, he turned back to Galen and found that Cordelia had appeared, almost as a reinforcement of some kind.
"You came all the way downstairs this time," Angel commented, the first thing he'd really been able to say to Galen since he and Sarah came into the lobby.
Galen's brow crinkled slowly. "What do you mean, this time?"
"You don't remember?" Angel asked. "You made it out of your room last time."
"I don't remember that," Galen smiled in spite of himself. "Was it a great travesty?"
"You threw Angel off the balcony," Cordelia said, and the smile evaporated.
Galen wasn't sure what to think about that, or how to react. The mental image did not compute at all, and then he was left wondering how the circumstances came to be, and then he was at a loss yet again, unable to figure out the scene. "What?"
"You don't remember that?" Cordelia lifted an eyebrow skeptically.
"He was half asleep," Angel reasoned. "Probably having a nightmare or something. I shouldn't have gotten so close. I was just worried."
"I-I don't remember doing that," Galen said, massively confused and now distressed. "I'm sorry."
"It wasn't you," Angel assured him in a firm voice. "You went through something traumatic. I'm perfectly fine."
"I don't remember that. And that's not okay. How could you be fine?"
"I'm surprisingly hard-headed," Angel said, but that just made it sound so much worse to Galen, who was still having trouble believing it.
"A few Tylenol, and he's ready to go," Cordelia chipped in.
"I threw you off the balcony?" Galen repeated.
"Pushed is maybe a better verb," Angel said. "It's water under the bridge. I'm fine, but… you don't look so well."
"I must not be so well if I can't remember that," Galen said. He froze up when Angel's touched his head, aware of a cool hand pressing his forehead.
Angel felt Galen tremble beneath his hand and let go. "What's wrong?"
Galen lowered his head. "Can I talk to Buffy?"
"She's sort of busy," Cordelia said, feeling lame.
"Oh." The single resigned syllable broke Cordelia's heart in half. "I get it."
Angel quickly rushed to amend what he knew had to be a mistake. "She isn't too-"
Galen's head lifted instantly, in perfect resolve. "I need to talk to her."
Cordelia hesitated. "She's-"
"I don't care," Galen said. "I need to talk to her. It's important."
Cordelia gave Angel a reluctant look. "Buffy," she called. The slayer had been trying not to listen and was hesitant to come out, but knew it would be immature if she didn't. She slowly straightened up her books, trying to kill time. When Cordelia called her name again, louder, she stood up and cautiously came out into the lobby, stopping a couple feet from Galen.
"Buffy," he said.
"Hey," Buffy spoke softly. "I need to talk, too."
Galen stepped forward to close the gap between them. "You need to know something first."
"I already know it," Buffy told him.
"You don't understand. It's about Sarah."
"No, I do understand," Buffy assured him. "I saw you with her."
That made Galen pause, and a wave of relief passed over him. "You know, then."
She nodded, although she knew he couldn't see it. "I get it. I really do, for once," Buffy said. "You two just know each other. I don't know what else to say, except that I don't want to interfere."
"You don't interfere-"
"But I will," Buffy said. "I don't want to. Look, I-I've been giving you signals. Okay, you've been giving me some too-"
"Buffy-"
"- but it's been mostly me, I know it. And I understand why you like Sarah more."
"Buffy, I like you."
"Please don't make it harder," Buffy begged him. "It's okay if you like her. Just don't try to tell me we can be friends." She still remembered what he had said years ago about the mistake of two ex lovers trying to be friends. The passion would burn and consume, no matter what. In this case, the passion would just burn her until there was nothing left.
"That's not what I want at all," Galen shook his head, a little exasperated.
"Oh." Buffy said quietly, as if she understood, but she didn't.
Galen sighed softly, and took pity on her. He reached out, finding her face with his hands and kissed her forcefully. His lips almost missed, but in a split second they had corrected themselves without thinking. Their lips crushed together for a hot second, then lingered sweetly, sending Buffy's heart racing. He let go of her slowly, still clinging to her arm as if she might fall or run away.
Buffy felt dazed when the kiss ended, unable to focus on anything but the phantom pressure she could still feel on her mouth. There was a dark spot on Galen's lips, a bruise, and she wondered if it was painful, and if it was throbbing now.
"Will you listen to me?" Galen asked, breaking her fixation.
Buffy's eyes went wide. "I'm listening."
"Good," he said. He paused to draw a breath and think. "I like Sarah," he finally said. "Hell, I love her -- like a sister. But…"
Buffy waited for a long time, married about what the next words would be. The silence undid her, until she it was more torturous to wait in fear. "But what?"
"I don't want her around me anymore."
That made the hair on Buffy's neck stand up. "What did she do?"
"I'm not even sure if she's alive," Galen confessed. "That thing, whoever or whatever she is, it isn't Sarah."