Making friends again!

[wrenb]

Well isn't this an interesting place to find myself in. It's a very mild version of a mid-life crisis. I feel like I'm just waking up from the last 15 years to realize that I've become... Well actually I'm not sure what I've become. That's sort of the point

Comments

[zathrus]

Good luck finding friends! I'm still finding mine through organized activities - homeschool support group and church - I wouldn't have the least idea how to find them otherwise. But I have a couple thoughts for you:

- What kind of people you find yourself enjoying being around is a form of information about yourself. It isn't everything you'd like to know, for sure, and I'm not discouraging introspection, but knowing whether you prefer to be around people you can vent to or people who are persistently sunny, for instance, is useful information.

- Sometimes, shared experience can trump everything else. One of my best and most persistent friends - and really, the only friend I have from our time in Forest Park who's more than a FB friend now - is one I never thought I'd get that close to. But I was struggling to keep my house clean around the time that she quit her teaching job to become a SAH soon-to-be-Mom, and we started helping each other clean house. I've cleaned dog hair out of the filter of her bagless vacuum cleaner; she's folded my underwear; we've both scrubbed each other's toilets. In the midst of all that, we discovered qualities we could appreciate in each other that we'd never have seen in the larger Sunday School context where we'd met, and now we get together once a year and the conversation picks up as if it never left off. That friendship surprised me, but it's priceless now.

Best wishes as you look for yourself and your friends. Rebuilding my support network was one of the hardest parts of moving; I feel for you. (Oh, and! Since you're on the west coast now, there are probably more actually useful alumni events, for both Mudd and Scripps; they might be worth looking for. The alumni departments would likely be very helpful there. Just another place to look.)

Newt

[wrenb]

I think it's the "what kind of people" thing that has struck me recently. My Madison friends were primarily people like Drew. Don't get me wrong, I love him to bits, but I suddenly realized that *I* am not like Drew, you know? And that maybe I should look for friends who are like me. At which point I froze, wondering what I was supposed to look for. I'm going to sign up for a charity knitting group at our synagogue, which will provide diversity. And I'm gradually meeting people around town, which is new and exciting.
Thanks Newt!