(no subject)
i swear, that sometimes it feels like im spiraling inward. since i've moved back up here, i've been the loneliest i've felt in years. not that my friends up here dont try, its just the fact that i live down in monroe, i don't know anybody here, i miss having someone all the time, and i only see my friends every few weeks. its just depressing. sometimes i honestly feel that if it wouldnt hurt my family so much, i'd be better off dead. i had to restart my entire life again, at age 22, when i decided to move back up here. it just seems that any decision i make in life completely backfires and i get fucked over. the buddhist religion truly is right in one of its main teachings, and that is Life is Suffering. i just wish sometimes that it wasn't so hard. i wish that friends didnt have to die, or family, and i wish that i didn't feel entirely worthless and alone.