the_muses_stage goodbye - secondhand serenade
I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive
Cause everything we've been through
And everything about you seemed to be a lie
A guiltless twisted lie
It made me learn to hate you
Or hate myself for letting it pass by
All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
"You got it done, didn't you?" Leo didn't really need to ask because he could see it on her face.
Annette Glendale was supposed to be his ticket out of his past, the promise of love and that he could be better. He had given up a lot of his old ways to try and prove that he could be a better man. Well, he had told it was because of her but some of it was for his baby sister. He had wanted to move beyond the very lifestyle that had destroyed her but it had been Annette who had given him the final incentive.
From the beginning, it was a broken love story. From the moment they saw each other in the bar and she asked him to dance, he knew there was no way it could work. She was from a much better life style than he was. She had a family, she had a life and she had something more than a lot of women he knew didn't have.
She had hope.
It was always there in a charming smile and in the way her eyes danced whenever she talked to him. In the way she even kissed and touched him, it had been there. She always had hope for the future like she knew a secret, like she knew she was going to get ahead in life and actually go somewhere. And for awhile, it seemed she had wanted him to go with her. So he gave up a lot of his life style and he did something he had thought about for awhile. He opened a bike shop with her gentle nudging and the kind words that convinced him he could do it.
For awhile, they had been on the right path but he knew good things didn't last. She had hope but he had reality. Reality came in the confession she was two months late and she was pregnant but not ready. At first, he had agreed with her. They weren't ready to bring a baby into the world but then a voice inside of him started to convince him otherwise.
But it didn't matter in the long run and he could see it.
"I did." She murmured, her eyes dancing away from his now. She couldn't make eye contact with him and he wondered if it was because she was ashamed. He had told her that he wanted the baby and he had told her the night she told him she had an appointment but she never listened to him. Instead she walked away and committed to something he didn't want.
"Why?" He asked her, feeling strangely hollow even as he crossed his arms over his chest. Big men didn't cry after all.
"I wasn't ready, Will." She whispered, swallowing thickly. "I have school starting soon and I can't start classes being pregnant."
"You could have gone back later, I would have supported the two of us."
"On what? Your shop is just starting; you don't really make any money yet." She met his gaze now and his own narrowed. "We wouldn't have been able to support our baby."
"Exactly, our baby." He pointed out, his words a hiss and the stab worked as she winced but he didn't care. "I told you I wanted it."
"I didn't." She lifted her chin.
"And that was all that mattered, didn't it?" He started to seethe, anger rippling through the normally calm facade. "Get out, Ann."
"What?" Her eyes widened in shock.
"Are you deaf? Get out." He reached out, wrenching on the doorknob to swing the door open for her before jerking at it with a thumb. "Get out."
"Will." She shot off the couch where she had been resting, wincing slightly. "You're mad, I get it. But please...."
"I said get out!" It was one of the few times he ever let his voice rise above a low tone. The roar that erupted from him surprised them both as she jumped back from him, her eyes widening further as they started to shimmer.
"Will." She whispered, starting to break in front of his eyes.
He stormed past her, afraid of himself now. He could feel he was trembling from anger and he wasn't sure he could trust himself around her anymore. So he walked to their room, hearing her cry out his name behind him but he ignored her as he stepped into his room and slammed the door behind him. Quickly pressing himself back, he felt her push on the door as she twisted at the handle. When she couldn't get in, she resorted to banging on the door as she called out his name but still he ignored her.
When he heard the front door slam a few minutes later, he sighed while wiping a hand over his face. All ready he knew she was gone and he could feel the light draining out of him as he slowly sank to the floor but he never called out for her. Instead he let her go and he never sought her out.
At one time she had brought hope into his life but now it was gone. She had killed his hope on a doctor's table without his consent.