stupid brain
i dont have a great relationship with my mum, but the thing is i dont really want a better relationship with her. everytime i have reached out to her and tried to make an effort i just get her usual bullshit of not really caring about how i feel. I dont want sympathy or anything from her but i feel like if you are going to ask how i am at least listen to the answer. she has been away for three weeks and i have barley spoken to her which has been kinda nice for my mental health but then she calls and wants to visit on friday so thats fine. When she asks how i am she hears about two words then says "yeah ok i'll see you friday". i mean really it's much easier if you dont ask and that way i don't have to waste my breath answering.
All the stuff i have to do and organise before Fable gets here is a little scary and every now and again i get compleatly overwhelmed about it and just stop, fucking a.d.d. I hate it i hate the fact that instead of doing what normal people do and getting the job done. then i compare myself to others and think why can't i be like that? why cant my house be clean and pretty? or how the nusery is getting ther but not close to being finished. *sigh* i just have to keep on going and know that i will get my brain sorted out one day.
harley just came home from work earlier than i thought which is great cause sometimes he motivates me to get things done when i stop cause he knows the feeling. so i better go and give him some cuddles :)
All the stuff i have to do and organise before Fable gets here is a little scary and every now and again i get compleatly overwhelmed about it and just stop, fucking a.d.d. I hate it i hate the fact that instead of doing what normal people do and getting the job done. then i compare myself to others and think why can't i be like that? why cant my house be clean and pretty? or how the nusery is getting ther but not close to being finished. *sigh* i just have to keep on going and know that i will get my brain sorted out one day.
harley just came home from work earlier than i thought which is great cause sometimes he motivates me to get things done when i stop cause he knows the feeling. so i better go and give him some cuddles :)