this light is the only thing ever next to me...
Ok wow i cant believe im once again behind on everything. Ive been really sick lately but really thats no excuse to not be updating everything. I guess im just lazy or sick of whats going on anymore. As i sit here on a SNOW DAY i have nothing better to do but write in this and catch up on some hw assignments that ive been missing. GOd my one snow day and im doing work...Ive have been recently reading everyone elses journals and shit from other websites, everyone is so happy and goes out with friends and loves someone and some other stupid shit like that. Im sick of it. Im not mad about it i could care less but i actually think my social abilites have gone done greatly over the years. I think the only time i actually talk to someone is at school or online...I need ot get out or i will will go crazy. For some reason i really need to talk to someone outside of school for more than a god dman minute or 2. Maybe im just afaird that everyone is leaving. I am. I hate being lonely...but ive gotten so used to it lately it doesnt seem to matter anymore. Idk my friends are the most important thing to me i woudlnt lose one for the world. Im jsut saying shit again that doesnt matter thats all. Maybe ill go walk around outside for a lil bit after i go shovel the god damn driveway. Idk...i feel like im isolating myself behind a meaningless computer screen waiting for that screen to turn orange so i can respond and tell everyone that im happy and im never sad. I hate showing emotions it only leads to uncertainty and fights. Maybe i just need to get out thats all maybe go see a movie with soem friends or maybe even go to the mall. Im sick of this ocmputer always breaking down and having me work on it only to screw up again. It wants me to isolate myself. Fixing it...making it better...making sure i stay more and more away from my friends. This thing is trapping me. Ok enuf of this crap. Ok so there is this dance thingy coming upthat im hearing about from a few ppl. Idk if im gona go cause i have no date but wth. Im also still looking for a girl but once again if i do something stupid i will make ppl think differently. Im not saying liek i need someone but it would be a nice addon to my life right now. i think it would be kind of awesome. so im gonna go and shovel the driveway...someone cal me or something.