under my skin...
HELL TO PAY
Filipsy field work...I was expecting hard work but it turns out the working part wasn't the worst of it. I will not recount here all the things that happened because most of you already know all the crap that went on in there anyway. It's enough to say that from now on, I will not be so gullible anymore. Just because someone is nice to me, just because someone seems to want to be friends with me, it doesn't mean that his or her intentions are always good. Pwede rin pa lang gusto ka lang nilang gamitin to further their own causes. And it doesn't always follow na when you're nice to people and you want to help them, they'll be nice to you in return. Oh they will be superficially nice pero yung intentions nila ang dapat mong alamin.
So to the squished one: I'll let you off for this one, I could've done something to sabotage you today, I could do something to hurt you tomorrow and the days to come but I won't do it because I'm not that kind of person anymore. I'm better than you and your lying, stinking, two-faced hide. Pero I warn you, you try that stunt one more time, or if you hurt that person whom you've been using narin for quite some time, I promise you, there will be hell to pay. And I won't stop until you cry. Be careful ha, with me so nearby, it's much much much easier for me to find ways to hurt you. (Right now I can think of quite a few unethical ways to get back at you...)
NOT ALONE
Call it overexposure. Call it whatever you want. Pero now I know kung sino yung pwede kong takbuhan kapag kailangan ko sila. Some people are not really showy about how far and how much they can actually do in the line of being a friend to you, but when push comes to shove, you find out who the people are who really will treat you like a friend. Maybe it's the general iffiness of college, learning about how ephemeral things are, especially relationships with people, but it's good to know that while there are many many times when I would have to fend for myself and learn to do things on my own, while I am still here in La Salle, I am not alone. I just hope I can be even half as good to them as they have been to me. For every crappy asshole I've met in my life, I've met at least two good people in return. There is hope for this world after all.
I'm actually quite proud of myself. I can't even walk around my own barangay without being afraid of getting lost or mugged. But in Bulacan, Bea, Rosa and I walked fearlessly (kunwari) all over the place. We even managed to get to Burol 2nd with minimal getting-lost hassles. We went to Operation Tuli (Never mind that I felt quite faint upon seeing all those exposed young boys lying like pieces of meat on tables...) and nabbed a few interviews. We went to Divina Gracia and schmoozed with people and we didn't even get lost when we made a wrong turn! We just WALKED all over the place like we owned it! I spent how many days walking around dirty, sweaty and exhausted then getting only about three hours of shallow and unsatisfying sleep afterwards. I'm proud of myself because let's admit it, I am a total wuss and if I hadn't been forced to do so, I could never have done these things. That's probably what a friend of mine meant when he said I was spoiled. I know now what he meant. I'm not really spoiled, just very much an overprotected, sheltered little wuss who's afraid of just about everything. Well I'm slightly less wussier now, so I'm so proud of myself.
Now if I could just finish all this Filipsy crap, ace the damn papers (ASA PA!!!!!!!) and figure out kung sino yung sabi ni Ate Dolly (the manghuhula) na guy who seriously likes me but he's showing it through pambibiro the whole way through, then that would mean that my *pakikiramdam* skills have gained a few points. *level up!*
I'm tired, sleepy and more than a little frustrated. But at least I'm proud of myself, I've learned to be careful of whom I trust, and I know who my friends are.
Fair enough.
Filipsy field work...I was expecting hard work but it turns out the working part wasn't the worst of it. I will not recount here all the things that happened because most of you already know all the crap that went on in there anyway. It's enough to say that from now on, I will not be so gullible anymore. Just because someone is nice to me, just because someone seems to want to be friends with me, it doesn't mean that his or her intentions are always good. Pwede rin pa lang gusto ka lang nilang gamitin to further their own causes. And it doesn't always follow na when you're nice to people and you want to help them, they'll be nice to you in return. Oh they will be superficially nice pero yung intentions nila ang dapat mong alamin.
So to the squished one: I'll let you off for this one, I could've done something to sabotage you today, I could do something to hurt you tomorrow and the days to come but I won't do it because I'm not that kind of person anymore. I'm better than you and your lying, stinking, two-faced hide. Pero I warn you, you try that stunt one more time, or if you hurt that person whom you've been using narin for quite some time, I promise you, there will be hell to pay. And I won't stop until you cry. Be careful ha, with me so nearby, it's much much much easier for me to find ways to hurt you. (Right now I can think of quite a few unethical ways to get back at you...)
NOT ALONE
Call it overexposure. Call it whatever you want. Pero now I know kung sino yung pwede kong takbuhan kapag kailangan ko sila. Some people are not really showy about how far and how much they can actually do in the line of being a friend to you, but when push comes to shove, you find out who the people are who really will treat you like a friend. Maybe it's the general iffiness of college, learning about how ephemeral things are, especially relationships with people, but it's good to know that while there are many many times when I would have to fend for myself and learn to do things on my own, while I am still here in La Salle, I am not alone. I just hope I can be even half as good to them as they have been to me. For every crappy asshole I've met in my life, I've met at least two good people in return. There is hope for this world after all.
I'm actually quite proud of myself. I can't even walk around my own barangay without being afraid of getting lost or mugged. But in Bulacan, Bea, Rosa and I walked fearlessly (kunwari) all over the place. We even managed to get to Burol 2nd with minimal getting-lost hassles. We went to Operation Tuli (Never mind that I felt quite faint upon seeing all those exposed young boys lying like pieces of meat on tables...) and nabbed a few interviews. We went to Divina Gracia and schmoozed with people and we didn't even get lost when we made a wrong turn! We just WALKED all over the place like we owned it! I spent how many days walking around dirty, sweaty and exhausted then getting only about three hours of shallow and unsatisfying sleep afterwards. I'm proud of myself because let's admit it, I am a total wuss and if I hadn't been forced to do so, I could never have done these things. That's probably what a friend of mine meant when he said I was spoiled. I know now what he meant. I'm not really spoiled, just very much an overprotected, sheltered little wuss who's afraid of just about everything. Well I'm slightly less wussier now, so I'm so proud of myself.
Now if I could just finish all this Filipsy crap, ace the damn papers (ASA PA!!!!!!!) and figure out kung sino yung sabi ni Ate Dolly (the manghuhula) na guy who seriously likes me but he's showing it through pambibiro the whole way through, then that would mean that my *pakikiramdam* skills have gained a few points. *level up!*
I'm tired, sleepy and more than a little frustrated. But at least I'm proud of myself, I've learned to be careful of whom I trust, and I know who my friends are.
Fair enough.