(no subject)
Today was really wonderful. It was a wandering, dreaming and scheming type of day, filled with exploring new places and ideas. Kellymonster is getting slowly better all the time and I think I'm almost as excited about the process as she is! I keep having to stop myself from telling people about it (sometimes unsuccessfully :-/) all in a rush because this is her story! I'm just very proud of her for saving, planning and having the courage to get something she's wanted for so long. I think it's tremendously inspiring.
I've been trying to work out my next painting in my head and it feels like it does when you're trying to remember an acquaintance's name or the name of that great book you finished a few weeks ago. It's on the tip of my proverbial imagination' s tongue and I just can't grasp it yet. Maybe I need to meditate. I'm not frustrated yet...just really curious. All these concepts and ideas keep playing tag in my head.
I need to be more conscious about what I share and what I keep to myself. I've been pretty intensely self-absorbed since J left. It's a different sort than the way I self-isolated for the year or so we were a couple. On the one hand I see this as healthy as I'm getting myself together, refocusing on my life and moving forward into some pretty cool new directions. My creativity is definitely in high gear! However, I think I used to be a bit more sensitive concerning how what I choose to say and how I choose to say it affects others feelings. Perhaps more importantly, I think I used to be more conscious about what I chose to keep to myself. Sometimes that's just as important. So yeah, a recent observation about myself. I need to remember how to listen well without giving in to the overwhelming urge to comment.
Oh, and I need to seriously start keeping some sort of social calendar. That sounds really goofy to me, but I keep overscheduling and forgetting things. Then I feel bad because I did that as it makes some things look more important than others, when really I just can't remember everything. Kelly usually helps me, but for fuck sake I am over 30 now. I should be able to keep it all together!
There's more going on I think, but I'm falling asleep writing this. I haven't slept much at all in the past week. My mind seems to have decided I don't really NEED to sleep anymore beyond 3-4 hours at a time, but I'm not so sure my body agrees! We'll see who wins around 6 am.
I've been trying to work out my next painting in my head and it feels like it does when you're trying to remember an acquaintance's name or the name of that great book you finished a few weeks ago. It's on the tip of my proverbial imagination' s tongue and I just can't grasp it yet. Maybe I need to meditate. I'm not frustrated yet...just really curious. All these concepts and ideas keep playing tag in my head.
I need to be more conscious about what I share and what I keep to myself. I've been pretty intensely self-absorbed since J left. It's a different sort than the way I self-isolated for the year or so we were a couple. On the one hand I see this as healthy as I'm getting myself together, refocusing on my life and moving forward into some pretty cool new directions. My creativity is definitely in high gear! However, I think I used to be a bit more sensitive concerning how what I choose to say and how I choose to say it affects others feelings. Perhaps more importantly, I think I used to be more conscious about what I chose to keep to myself. Sometimes that's just as important. So yeah, a recent observation about myself. I need to remember how to listen well without giving in to the overwhelming urge to comment.
Oh, and I need to seriously start keeping some sort of social calendar. That sounds really goofy to me, but I keep overscheduling and forgetting things. Then I feel bad because I did that as it makes some things look more important than others, when really I just can't remember everything. Kelly usually helps me, but for fuck sake I am over 30 now. I should be able to keep it all together!
There's more going on I think, but I'm falling asleep writing this. I haven't slept much at all in the past week. My mind seems to have decided I don't really NEED to sleep anymore beyond 3-4 hours at a time, but I'm not so sure my body agrees! We'll see who wins around 6 am.