Looking back, and thinking about now.
So I just went through a whole bunch of my old entries from my old journal on here. (yar_matey)
I was a gigantic mess.
And everything was so extremely up and down with Brandon, all the time, how could I think that was ok? That it was all just me, and that I could fix it, somehow, myself?
I really should never have stayed as long as I did. It was like holding on by a thread, and every day, more and more would unravel, eventually leaving you with nothing at all.
I realize all of this now.
I also can say that I am truly some of the happiest I have ever been, and that I am very much in love. Its all going so well, its almost unbelieveable. I fit right in with his group of friends, they all really like me. and Steve makes for an awesome boyfriend. If he says he'll call, he will. If he says we'll hang out, we will. We never get sick of each other. We never fight. Or even have any misunderstandings.... I feel so so lucky to have him in my life. We both sometimes can't even believe that we ended up together, like perhaps this is just all a dream.
He makes me feel like a boy SHOULD make me feel. We're the cutest couple on the planet, and we both want this to last for a reaaaallllly long time. I'm postive it will.
I can talk to him about anything, and feel totally comfortable. And if he sees I am upset about something, he will get it out of me, and I will feel so much better. Before, things would just take over my mind and we (brandon and I) wouldnt speak for days sometimes.
I KNOW he would never do anything to hurt me. And I say that with confidence. I have no doubts with him, and my mind is competely at ease.
I am so in love. More so than ever. And it grows everyday.
I was a gigantic mess.
And everything was so extremely up and down with Brandon, all the time, how could I think that was ok? That it was all just me, and that I could fix it, somehow, myself?
I really should never have stayed as long as I did. It was like holding on by a thread, and every day, more and more would unravel, eventually leaving you with nothing at all.
I realize all of this now.
I also can say that I am truly some of the happiest I have ever been, and that I am very much in love. Its all going so well, its almost unbelieveable. I fit right in with his group of friends, they all really like me. and Steve makes for an awesome boyfriend. If he says he'll call, he will. If he says we'll hang out, we will. We never get sick of each other. We never fight. Or even have any misunderstandings.... I feel so so lucky to have him in my life. We both sometimes can't even believe that we ended up together, like perhaps this is just all a dream.
He makes me feel like a boy SHOULD make me feel. We're the cutest couple on the planet, and we both want this to last for a reaaaallllly long time. I'm postive it will.
I can talk to him about anything, and feel totally comfortable. And if he sees I am upset about something, he will get it out of me, and I will feel so much better. Before, things would just take over my mind and we (brandon and I) wouldnt speak for days sometimes.
I KNOW he would never do anything to hurt me. And I say that with confidence. I have no doubts with him, and my mind is competely at ease.
I am so in love. More so than ever. And it grows everyday.