When I sleep my neurons play odd games XV... WtffF?
No, this isn't what I'm meant to be posting. I'll draw some shamblies and then post the other stuff.
I was trying to escape from a castle full of vampires. Sometimes I was trying to take other people with me sometimes I gave up and was just trying to get out on my own. The vampires liked doing weird and bloody experiments on people (tzimisce, obviously, bastards) adding chittenous melted snake/dragon skin bits to limbs and fastening them with bone needles and snake fangs. Not fun.
Then things went a bit like this:
Try to escape. Caught. Try to ward against mindless skittering blood-slave things; fail, stab some instead.
Try to kill vampires with sword. Sword has no effect whatsoever.
Get caught, bitten, possibly killed and have a predator-mouthed snake head pinned to my hand. No thank you: I poke it and pull it off, leaving my hand somewhat the worse for wear.
Escape time again!
I do better this time since I now appear to be a bit undead and ninj.
Find anime sword of doom. Alas, vampires also armed with anime swords of doom. Arse.
Cut off vampires’ heads. Heads reattach. FFS.
One vampire knight decides he’d like to run away with me as I’m clearly a lot more sane than his associates. We plot, gather supplies, and are caught by the lead vampire who is a complete psycho bitch queen.
She kills us.
The scene replays. Eh?
She kills us again.
The scene replays. I suggest we drop the supplies and run like hell before we get killed a third bloody time as I for one am finding it tiresome...
Psycho bitch queen returns. Vampire knight duels her with the anime sword and tells me to go. I do so, and actually manage to escape this time.
I flee, doing all manner of weird stuff: transforming into a hare to run faster, a wild boar to smash past two dogs and a gate, a fox to hide from a hunter’s gun, a floof of air to rise up and see which direction I need… Discover I can move through grass from one blade to the next at the speed of thought which makes me 99% unharmable, unfindable and untrackable. Win.
Psycho bitch queen and henchmen various hunt me all the way to the coast.
I’m trying to get a boat but the dream's not having any of it. I actually have a tug of war with the dream demanding it turn this wooden bath tub into a sloop like I need or at very least a longboat as I’ve had quite enough of its shit. Dream grudgingly complies. But a moment later -
Dream: Ahahahahaha! One of your companions onboard transforms into psycho bitch! Lookit - possession! Haha! Her face is all evil and fucked up!
Me: Ick. Yeah, well, I’m undead and ninj so I pull her head open and squish out the speck of her brain that’s being possessed. See? - it’s that neuron right there, the glowy one. She’ll get over it.
Dream: You squish the possessed neuron - ahahahaha! It goes boom - like a bomb - you aaaaaaalll die.
Me: Fuck. Right. Off.
Dream: ....*huff*
Me: I mean it.
Dream: Yeah well I didn’t want to play any more anyway. Here, I’ll make your dad magically appear and tell you off lots for being depressed and undead and then you can wake up. Oh - PS - You went to bed at 2. It’s 5am. Heee! Sucks to be you! Byeeeeeee!
Me: ...... bloody vampires.
I was trying to escape from a castle full of vampires. Sometimes I was trying to take other people with me sometimes I gave up and was just trying to get out on my own. The vampires liked doing weird and bloody experiments on people (tzimisce, obviously, bastards) adding chittenous melted snake/dragon skin bits to limbs and fastening them with bone needles and snake fangs. Not fun.
Then things went a bit like this:
Try to escape. Caught. Try to ward against mindless skittering blood-slave things; fail, stab some instead.
Try to kill vampires with sword. Sword has no effect whatsoever.
Get caught, bitten, possibly killed and have a predator-mouthed snake head pinned to my hand. No thank you: I poke it and pull it off, leaving my hand somewhat the worse for wear.
Escape time again!
I do better this time since I now appear to be a bit undead and ninj.
Find anime sword of doom. Alas, vampires also armed with anime swords of doom. Arse.
Cut off vampires’ heads. Heads reattach. FFS.
One vampire knight decides he’d like to run away with me as I’m clearly a lot more sane than his associates. We plot, gather supplies, and are caught by the lead vampire who is a complete psycho bitch queen.
She kills us.
The scene replays. Eh?
She kills us again.
The scene replays. I suggest we drop the supplies and run like hell before we get killed a third bloody time as I for one am finding it tiresome...
Psycho bitch queen returns. Vampire knight duels her with the anime sword and tells me to go. I do so, and actually manage to escape this time.
I flee, doing all manner of weird stuff: transforming into a hare to run faster, a wild boar to smash past two dogs and a gate, a fox to hide from a hunter’s gun, a floof of air to rise up and see which direction I need… Discover I can move through grass from one blade to the next at the speed of thought which makes me 99% unharmable, unfindable and untrackable. Win.
Psycho bitch queen and henchmen various hunt me all the way to the coast.
I’m trying to get a boat but the dream's not having any of it. I actually have a tug of war with the dream demanding it turn this wooden bath tub into a sloop like I need or at very least a longboat as I’ve had quite enough of its shit. Dream grudgingly complies. But a moment later -
Dream: Ahahahahaha! One of your companions onboard transforms into psycho bitch! Lookit - possession! Haha! Her face is all evil and fucked up!
Me: Ick. Yeah, well, I’m undead and ninj so I pull her head open and squish out the speck of her brain that’s being possessed. See? - it’s that neuron right there, the glowy one. She’ll get over it.
Dream: You squish the possessed neuron - ahahahaha! It goes boom - like a bomb - you aaaaaaalll die.
Me: Fuck. Right. Off.
Dream: ....*huff*
Me: I mean it.
Dream: Yeah well I didn’t want to play any more anyway. Here, I’ll make your dad magically appear and tell you off lots for being depressed and undead and then you can wake up. Oh - PS - You went to bed at 2. It’s 5am. Heee! Sucks to be you! Byeeeeeee!
Me: ...... bloody vampires.