After Aeolin...
http://maz.nu/fs/am.mp3
Did you ever
(echo)
care for me?
(echo)
Did you ever
care for me at all?
You gave your word
(echo)
You swore to me
(echo)
That you would never
Leave me to fall...
Now I'm here
Cold and lonely
All... at.. sea...
Fro-zen to my..
Ve-ry core..
From the abyss
I can hear you
Call-ing me...
But all are ashes
Now
For-ever more..
Lost forever
Lost forever
Still haunt-ing me
Left to bear my sins... a-lone...
Haunt-ing me...
Haunt-ing me...
Did you ever
(echo)
care for me?
(echo)
Did you ever
care for me at all?
You gave your word
(echo)
You swore to me
(echo)
That you would never
Leave
Me
Here...
That's my attempt at fitting lyrics to Marek's music which was I felt more successful than him attempting to fit my clunky lyrics to new music. Still, neither endeavor was bad.
My life has been weird of late. Not weird in a 'ooh, insane universe' way, but weird in a 'is this good or bad? wtf?' kinda way.
Marek is sending much work my way - hurrah. Although I have no idea if I can do it and this is scary. Still. Also I'll get the loan of a new macbook. And pay. This is all for the good.
The bed is full of bed bugs - this is all extremely to the fucking bad. They're nesting on the frame the little fucks and are tricky to kill. Told James by mistake and he's getting all territorial and 'reasonable' at me. This is understandable but makes me want to run away and live in a ditch. I have doused the frame in bleach - hope that kills the fucks forevermore.
On friday I did stock take at Blade's new place of work and wondered why I'd ever given up smoking. Also remembered why I like Blade. Got paid £45 and spent it on beads, make up, goat's cheese and salad. Foolish of me, but was nice to be able to do so. Back home I messed about on the net and found a video that was cut between the young Sherlock Holmes and Jeremy Brett and was set to 'In the End'. It utterly broke me. It made me think of all the pain and regret that everybody hides and how some mistakes cannot be fixed, and how in the end it's unlikely that anything you've done in your life will (in your mind at least) balance out your failures. I wrote LBP but that didn't help much.
Needing to make things either better or worse, I asked Matt what was going on with him and his distance and what could be done about it. He'd just got into bed and pretended to be asleep. I said 'fine then', packed my bag with blades, bandages and alcohol and left.
I went to the pathetic excuse for a river this corner of London has and sat on a bench and carved holes in my arms and then my neck and cheek. I got a text from Matt at 3am asking where I was. I told him 'on a bench' and that I was coming home as I was too cold, bloody and exhausted to do anything else. I asked him again what was going on as we walked back. He said he didn't know and I turned on my heel and left. I really couldn't cope with so much pointless misery when he didn't even know or didn't even trust me to say what it was all about. He caught me and took me home and we bandaged me up.
On saturday I put on my highest cravat and went out to Rules restaurant in Covent Garden with Matt and Jo and Andy. I wasn't exactly sparkling but I think I did okay and I think the gashes and bandage were successfully hidden. *shrugs* Rules is apparently the oldest restaurant in London and is kinda like a gentleman's club.
Matt is still distant, although I admit that the distance is less than it was. It's still an utter head-fuck and I don't really know what to do about it.
I have to redo Ketch's picture as the one I lost on the train hasn't returned. This bores me.
i also ought to star Gordon's painting but he's being busy and not really paying attention which makes him okaying the design like pulling teeth.
Watched Odd Man Out. Is shiny and depressing.
=======
Dear Gods and the Universe,
It's me, Witch. Y'know. The sarky one with scars all over her neck and arms.
If you're listening, I have three very heartfelt requests to make of you.
Please may all the bedbugs in the flat die - now - and never return - without me having to call an exterminator and pay monies? Please? It would make my life sooo much better.
Secondly, please smile upon my strange and distant Wolf and give him success as I think this will make him happier and then me happier also.
Lastly, please send my good wishes to Jeremy Brett, who is still a darling and is one of the few random dead people I wish I'd met.
Many thanks,
Life, health, strength be to your name,
Witch.
Did you ever
(echo)
care for me?
(echo)
Did you ever
care for me at all?
You gave your word
(echo)
You swore to me
(echo)
That you would never
Leave me to fall...
Now I'm here
Cold and lonely
All... at.. sea...
Fro-zen to my..
Ve-ry core..
From the abyss
I can hear you
Call-ing me...
But all are ashes
Now
For-ever more..
Lost forever
Lost forever
Still haunt-ing me
Left to bear my sins... a-lone...
Haunt-ing me...
Haunt-ing me...
Did you ever
(echo)
care for me?
(echo)
Did you ever
care for me at all?
You gave your word
(echo)
You swore to me
(echo)
That you would never
Leave
Me
Here...
That's my attempt at fitting lyrics to Marek's music which was I felt more successful than him attempting to fit my clunky lyrics to new music. Still, neither endeavor was bad.
My life has been weird of late. Not weird in a 'ooh, insane universe' way, but weird in a 'is this good or bad? wtf?' kinda way.
Marek is sending much work my way - hurrah. Although I have no idea if I can do it and this is scary. Still. Also I'll get the loan of a new macbook. And pay. This is all for the good.
The bed is full of bed bugs - this is all extremely to the fucking bad. They're nesting on the frame the little fucks and are tricky to kill. Told James by mistake and he's getting all territorial and 'reasonable' at me. This is understandable but makes me want to run away and live in a ditch. I have doused the frame in bleach - hope that kills the fucks forevermore.
On friday I did stock take at Blade's new place of work and wondered why I'd ever given up smoking. Also remembered why I like Blade. Got paid £45 and spent it on beads, make up, goat's cheese and salad. Foolish of me, but was nice to be able to do so. Back home I messed about on the net and found a video that was cut between the young Sherlock Holmes and Jeremy Brett and was set to 'In the End'. It utterly broke me. It made me think of all the pain and regret that everybody hides and how some mistakes cannot be fixed, and how in the end it's unlikely that anything you've done in your life will (in your mind at least) balance out your failures. I wrote LBP but that didn't help much.
Needing to make things either better or worse, I asked Matt what was going on with him and his distance and what could be done about it. He'd just got into bed and pretended to be asleep. I said 'fine then', packed my bag with blades, bandages and alcohol and left.
I went to the pathetic excuse for a river this corner of London has and sat on a bench and carved holes in my arms and then my neck and cheek. I got a text from Matt at 3am asking where I was. I told him 'on a bench' and that I was coming home as I was too cold, bloody and exhausted to do anything else. I asked him again what was going on as we walked back. He said he didn't know and I turned on my heel and left. I really couldn't cope with so much pointless misery when he didn't even know or didn't even trust me to say what it was all about. He caught me and took me home and we bandaged me up.
On saturday I put on my highest cravat and went out to Rules restaurant in Covent Garden with Matt and Jo and Andy. I wasn't exactly sparkling but I think I did okay and I think the gashes and bandage were successfully hidden. *shrugs* Rules is apparently the oldest restaurant in London and is kinda like a gentleman's club.
Matt is still distant, although I admit that the distance is less than it was. It's still an utter head-fuck and I don't really know what to do about it.
I have to redo Ketch's picture as the one I lost on the train hasn't returned. This bores me.
i also ought to star Gordon's painting but he's being busy and not really paying attention which makes him okaying the design like pulling teeth.
Watched Odd Man Out. Is shiny and depressing.
=======
Dear Gods and the Universe,
It's me, Witch. Y'know. The sarky one with scars all over her neck and arms.
If you're listening, I have three very heartfelt requests to make of you.
Please may all the bedbugs in the flat die - now - and never return - without me having to call an exterminator and pay monies? Please? It would make my life sooo much better.
Secondly, please smile upon my strange and distant Wolf and give him success as I think this will make him happier and then me happier also.
Lastly, please send my good wishes to Jeremy Brett, who is still a darling and is one of the few random dead people I wish I'd met.
Many thanks,
Life, health, strength be to your name,
Witch.