Swoopy coats, spitting blood, and weirdness....
There is a character from 'Glass Books of the Dream Eaters' called Cardinal Chang. He looks like a scruffier Doc Holliday as played by Dennis Quaid, dressed in a very battered leather Alucard Helsing coat and my evil 1870 glasses. (He was, should you wonder, without a doubt the best character in the book.)
He turned up in some random semi-victorian-gangster type dream I was having last night.
There were a load of Eastend criminals who wanted to get their hands on this girl who they believed was actually some kind of elf queen of all the oceans. (I was her for a bit - imagine my surprise when I walked into the sea and discovered they were right. Ears got pointy, fin-like wings appeared and eyes and hair went weird. Who knew?)
Some landlord bloke who owned two fekking huge hell hounds was trying to help her and called in the Cardinal as back up. Since just watching all of this apparently didn't amuse my neurons enough, they hijacked things and I got to run around being Cardinal Chang. He/I had a stupidly unwieldy pistol that I couldn't hit a house with due to the recoil, so I deformed the universe and demanded he get weird-shit powers of doom instead.
(These included the ability to throw ones hat out of a tower window and then rise up out of the ground under it when it landed... To briefly turn into an owl and fly too fast to catch or hit... To bully the laws of physics so that bullets went away or generally failed... And - in one extreme and surreal case - telepathically get the sea-elf girl to summon a giant mutated jellyfish out of the aether to act as a shield when I was about to get my head blown off...)
Despite all these ridiculous and great powers I did eventually get shot; this just meant that I got to stagger around, bleeding, heroic and semi-delirious - yey!
The elf girl had managed to escape meanwhile and some irritating prissy wench had taken her place. (She was supposed to be Miss Temple I think, another and far more annoying character from the same book.) For reasons know only to herself, Miss Temple decided that the only way to save me was to take me to this ancient place of pure evil so I could get embraced by a vampire.
On the way there she angsted about my physical wellbeing vs my immortal soul and I got steadily more delirious and irritated as I tried to explain to her that actually I was already a vampire (or possibly an ex-vampire, I'm not sure) how else did she think I did all that freaky shit?
The vampire for his part watched all this from the shadows and laughed a lot. Mwaha, - pity the dumb mortals - ooh lookit, it's Cardinal Chang - wasn't he my childer at some point? I wonder if the irritating bint tastes better than she sounds?
*wanders the net looking for pretty pictures of Cardinal Chang and Doc Holliday and other half-dead gentleman-rogue types*
He turned up in some random semi-victorian-gangster type dream I was having last night.
There were a load of Eastend criminals who wanted to get their hands on this girl who they believed was actually some kind of elf queen of all the oceans. (I was her for a bit - imagine my surprise when I walked into the sea and discovered they were right. Ears got pointy, fin-like wings appeared and eyes and hair went weird. Who knew?)
Some landlord bloke who owned two fekking huge hell hounds was trying to help her and called in the Cardinal as back up. Since just watching all of this apparently didn't amuse my neurons enough, they hijacked things and I got to run around being Cardinal Chang. He/I had a stupidly unwieldy pistol that I couldn't hit a house with due to the recoil, so I deformed the universe and demanded he get weird-shit powers of doom instead.
(These included the ability to throw ones hat out of a tower window and then rise up out of the ground under it when it landed... To briefly turn into an owl and fly too fast to catch or hit... To bully the laws of physics so that bullets went away or generally failed... And - in one extreme and surreal case - telepathically get the sea-elf girl to summon a giant mutated jellyfish out of the aether to act as a shield when I was about to get my head blown off...)
Despite all these ridiculous and great powers I did eventually get shot; this just meant that I got to stagger around, bleeding, heroic and semi-delirious - yey!
The elf girl had managed to escape meanwhile and some irritating prissy wench had taken her place. (She was supposed to be Miss Temple I think, another and far more annoying character from the same book.) For reasons know only to herself, Miss Temple decided that the only way to save me was to take me to this ancient place of pure evil so I could get embraced by a vampire.
On the way there she angsted about my physical wellbeing vs my immortal soul and I got steadily more delirious and irritated as I tried to explain to her that actually I was already a vampire (or possibly an ex-vampire, I'm not sure) how else did she think I did all that freaky shit?
The vampire for his part watched all this from the shadows and laughed a lot. Mwaha, - pity the dumb mortals - ooh lookit, it's Cardinal Chang - wasn't he my childer at some point? I wonder if the irritating bint tastes better than she sounds?
*wanders the net looking for pretty pictures of Cardinal Chang and Doc Holliday and other half-dead gentleman-rogue types*