Oh the PAIN oh the HILARITY... oh dear gods...
My parents and brother watch CSI a lot. After having been told by all three of them that there was an episode with vampires that I had to watch I finally saw it this eve. Oh the pain. It was as if a script writer had picked up a VtM book and read the lexicon and then dropped the relevant words and ideas in. It sounded so BAD it was unreal. And the fact that no one batted an eyelid at the idea some bloke with natural fangs (ie, slightly pointed canines) had bit into some girl's neck to the jugular (neatly and without getting lamped by her), drunken half her blood and then carefully exsanginated her into tupperware boxes without spilling a drop. I feel like writing a letter.
Dear CSI people,
Do you know how hard it is to reach the jugular? Well, since I can't get there with a scalpel in a hurry, some fecker with pokey canines isn't gonna either. He'll clamp down, it will get kinky and he'll leave a hell of a bruise - but after a bit either she'll punch him in the face or they'll have very violent break-the-furniture sex. There is no way he can possibly get through the arterial walls without somehow tearing a huge chunk out of her neck and chowing down. Unless either he has fangs like a snake, or they are razor sharp. Since he could still talk and his bottom lip wasn't cut to shreds I'm guessing he had neither.
By the by, if they were all so into blood drinking why didn't they all have paper cuts all over their arms and shoulders and ten thousand scars?
Do you know how difficult it is to catch blood in a box? (Very, especially when under pressure.) Do you know how much blood a human can consume without wanting to puke up or sit on the loo for a good while? (About a pint.) Do you know of any snooty wannabe Vlad who would drink blood from a tupperware container?!
You pay so much attention to bullets, guns and knife wounds, and yet all of this medical/scientific minutae goes out the window when a cult word comes into play.
I am utterly disgusted.
Yours,
Raven.
PS, the best thing in the entire benighted episode was the vial necklace the dead girl wore. I want one. Give. Please.
My parents are going on holiday in a few hours. Hopefully they will have a brilliant time and be rested and happy on their return. Gods know they deserve it. I will be on my own in the house for a few days with just the cats and the weirdness for company. Blergh. I will probably not go to the pub unless my presence is requested. I have work on friday. *sigh* Gods I'm crap at this 'normal' thing.
There are too many things I want and not enough things I can feasibly do to generate money. Blah.
I have ten million things I should be doing. But right now it's too late to start any of them... I haven't written any script for James. Feck.
All orders/ aid / opinions / advice / visits / randomness welcome on any topic.
Dear CSI people,
Do you know how hard it is to reach the jugular? Well, since I can't get there with a scalpel in a hurry, some fecker with pokey canines isn't gonna either. He'll clamp down, it will get kinky and he'll leave a hell of a bruise - but after a bit either she'll punch him in the face or they'll have very violent break-the-furniture sex. There is no way he can possibly get through the arterial walls without somehow tearing a huge chunk out of her neck and chowing down. Unless either he has fangs like a snake, or they are razor sharp. Since he could still talk and his bottom lip wasn't cut to shreds I'm guessing he had neither.
By the by, if they were all so into blood drinking why didn't they all have paper cuts all over their arms and shoulders and ten thousand scars?
Do you know how difficult it is to catch blood in a box? (Very, especially when under pressure.) Do you know how much blood a human can consume without wanting to puke up or sit on the loo for a good while? (About a pint.) Do you know of any snooty wannabe Vlad who would drink blood from a tupperware container?!
You pay so much attention to bullets, guns and knife wounds, and yet all of this medical/scientific minutae goes out the window when a cult word comes into play.
I am utterly disgusted.
Yours,
Raven.
PS, the best thing in the entire benighted episode was the vial necklace the dead girl wore. I want one. Give. Please.
My parents are going on holiday in a few hours. Hopefully they will have a brilliant time and be rested and happy on their return. Gods know they deserve it. I will be on my own in the house for a few days with just the cats and the weirdness for company. Blergh. I will probably not go to the pub unless my presence is requested. I have work on friday. *sigh* Gods I'm crap at this 'normal' thing.
There are too many things I want and not enough things I can feasibly do to generate money. Blah.
I have ten million things I should be doing. But right now it's too late to start any of them... I haven't written any script for James. Feck.
All orders/ aid / opinions / advice / visits / randomness welcome on any topic.