2014 Ficathon Entry: Attack of the Squalls
Okay, here it is...
For bitwhizzle, who wanted something with Wedge, Wes and Hobbie, possibly Face or Ton, with the prompts: (1) itchy, (2) zoo and (3) one room.
I hope this meets your expectations...it's short (just over 1000 words) but sweet - well I think :) This takes place sometime around Solo Command, when the Wraiths and Rogues are still working closely together, but end up with a little downtime. I'd say it's about a G/PG rating; usual disclaimers apply, etc. May I present...
Wes Janson shifted in the hard, plastisteel seat again, for what felt like the thousandth time in the past few minutes, trying to alleviate the itching that had started up in a place he would rather not name. He'd been warned, under penalties strongly hinted at, to not move one centimetre from where he was. Apparently his reputation had preceded him here...or perhaps it was simply what had occurred to put him in this room. Whatever it was, the authorities were clearly not taking any chances. It was all just way too perfect how events had played out, which meant someone, someone with planning skills matching his own, had to have been responsible.
He'd tried to explain, many times, that it wasn't his fault. Honestly, this time. But no one would listen. So for now he was stuck, with an itch that was getting worse by the second, waiting until someone with 'higher authority' could be mustered up. Even worse - he had no idea who actually was responsible. Usually he could tell who had pulled something off by the style - each and every prankster was different - signature moves if you would. This time, Wes was stumped.
There were footsteps outside the room, then a small window in the door slid open. Eyes peered in, and Wes perked up, smiling, hoping he could charm whoever it was into opening the door. The window slid shut with a final-soundling 'click.' No such luck then. Only one thing left to do with his time he supposed - try and figure out who should be in here instead of him. And who would be getting extra duties when he made out the roster for next week.
It couldn't have been Hobbie - there's no way he could have pulled something like this off without his help. Well, he didn't think he could...maybe...nah. Hobbie doesn't have that passion you'd need. Now Wedge, there's a possibility. It had happened before, so he knew Wedge could make this happen. As Wedge’d said then, he has the resources. But it just didn't seem like Wedge's work. No, he'd have wanted Wes out in front of everyone, not suffering alone. Plus, he’d promised no more for a while. That left only a few possibilities, most of which were not likely. He could scratch Tych off - there's no way he'd be involved with something so lacking in style - and the others were out due to proximity, as they were currently stationed on other planets or ships. Which left him with two promising candidates...
An increase in the itching broke his concentration - if only he could just stand up and really get at it. He managed to find a position on the chair where he could reach the area where it was the worst, when the door abruptly opened and emitted a single person before sliding shut again. Wes paused awkwardly, his right hand half-way in his trousers, and looked up slowly. Who the heck could they have pulled in so quickly...of course, it had to be...
'Hiya chief,' Wes said cheerfully.
Wedge simply stared, not saying a word. He usually went with the ‘let Janson hang himself’ tactic, so he figured on employing it here.
‘Kinda in a pickle here, huh?’ Wes chuckled weakly, then glanced down. ‘Oh, sorry ‘bout that.’ He quickly pulled his hand out of his waistband then looked back up at Wedge. In lieu of speaking, Wedge raised an eyebrow.
Wes sighed and looked back down. ‘Seriously, Wedge, I had nothing to do with this. Face asked me if I could take Dia to the zoo, ‘cause she was really wanting to see it, but he had a last minute emergency meeting with some intel guys come up and he didn’t want her to be disappointed - y’know, since we only have the day here - so I said sure, why not. I mean, he even offered to pay, so it was no credits outta my pocket. We’d only been here for like, an hour, maybe, then next thing I know there’s these critters all out of their cages, and they’re all coming right at us. Dia’s clinging to my back and shrieking, so I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder and tried to book it outta there, but there was a fence right behind us. I got her up on it, climbed over myself, figuring we could go down a ways and get back out where it was safe, y’know?’ He glanced up and saw Wedge was still unresponsive, so he kept going.
‘But then everyone starts pointing and yelling, and I see there’s this huge, this huge…whatchamacallit…right there in the same pen. So I toss Dia back up on the fence, we get back over, I mean those little critters have gotta be less trouble than this other thing, right? By then, thankfully, all these ranger-type guys have shown up and are starting to catch ‘em all, but then everyone’s pointing to us again, chattering to the ranger guys, and two of them come over and grab me. Next thing I know I’m in here…and this is really starting to bug me!’ Wes stopped his narrative and squirmed in the chair frantically. ‘Permission to stand, sir?’
Wedge nodded, and Wes jumped up and began to rub the backside of his trousers, then started to speak again. ‘So, honestly Wedge, I didn’t - ‘
‘Wes,’ Wedge cut him off, ‘you said Face offered to pay for everything?’
‘Yeah, since it was last minute and all, and I guess he figured it was only fair, seeing as Dia’s his girlfriend…’
Wedge didn’t reply. His eyebrow went back up as he looked at the manically itching man in front of him. Wait for it…
‘Face! He…he set this all up didn’t he? I am so gonna get him!’
‘Come on, Wes, let’s get you out of here. I’ll talk to them.’ Wedge turned to leave the room, then stopped and glanced back. ‘But what’s with the ants in your pants? I thought you got away from all the animals.’
‘We did. I know, I’ve been going crazy here and I just can’t figure out…I mean, if I didn’t know better I’d swear it’s just like that itching powder we all used to get each other with back on Hoth…she didn’t!’
As Wedge walked out of the room, he couldn’t help laughing, as Wes muttered on behind him.
‘Dia is totally on my list too…’ Wes continued, still desperately trying to discretely scratch as he walked out behind Wedge. ‘Extra duty for two weeks - no, three - both of them! Oho, they are never gonna forget…’
The End