Fic: Card Shopping
Title: Card Shopping
Author: wraithkeeper
Rating: G
Pairing: Peter/Elizabeth/Neal
Spoilers: none
Word Count: ~400
Disclaimer: White Collar and its characters don't belong to me.
Notes: Written for this request for fluff on collarkink
Neal snatches the card from Peter’s fingers the second he sees the cartoon cow on its cover.
“No.”
“It’s a funny one,” Peter argues.
Neal flips the card open - giving Peter the benefit of the doubt, despite his better judgement - but quickly returns it to the rack the second he reads the message “wishing you an utterly good anniversary!”
Neal casts a disbelieving glance Peter’s way. “Definitely not.”
“El has a sense of humor, you know.”
“Yes, but she’s not a saint,” Neal explains slowly. “She’ll still want to throttle you if you get her that card for your anniversary.”
“I’ve gotten her funny cards before. She likes them.”
“Peter, there’s a reason you wanted my help with this, and it was to stop you from making a decision like that.”
“Fine. What’s your advice, Romeo?”
“You have to give her a card that matches the gift, and something with a cow on the cover doesn’t go very well with the vintage wine you got her.”
“You got her the vintage wine,” Peter points out.
“Which you’re giving to her.”
“I don’t need to take your gift,” Peter tells him. “I already got her a gym membership.”
Neal stares at him like he’s grown a third eye. “You’re giving her the wine.”
“She asked for the gym membership, Neal.”
“But that’s not what she wants,” Neal explains, exasperated.
“Then why would she ask for it?” Peter challenges.
Neal sighs and shakes his head. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I’m not an idiot, you know.”
“You were about to buy your wife an anniversary card with a cow on it,” Neal says, as if that’s all the proof he needs. “You’re giving her the wine.”
Neal grabs another card off the shelf and glances down at it, then hands it over to Peter, “And this is the card you’re buying.”
Peter flips open the rose-colored card and stares at the floral calligraphy inside. “There’s a poem inside.”
“Yes, there is,” Neal says, raising an eyebrow in a silent dare for Peter to object.
“Fine, I won’t get her a funny card,” Peter relents.
“And?” Neal prompts.
Peter sighs. “And I’ll give her the wine.”
“Perfect.” Neal grins, turning to walk toward the register.
“Can I buy you the cow card for our anniversary?”
Neal doesn’t even turn around when he answers. “No!”