Yes, I am SO easily amused...
Meet action figure!Jack and action figure!Daniel.
In their spare time, they like to do this…
…and this…
…and this.
~~~~~
Daniel: Nope, I’m not seeing it.
Jack: Not even a little one?
Daniel: Nope.
Jack: But…
Daniel: Jack, we’re action figures. It’s not like we really need them. Our clothes don’t even come off!
Jack: For crying out loud, I can’t believe they made us without dicks!
Daniel: What are you…wait, are you looking at naked pictures of me again?
Jack: Well, I miss seeing you naked. Damned painted-on clothing.
Daniel: Even if we could get our clothes off, it’s not like you could do anything with me. We don’t have dicks. So, unless you’re planning on putting your zat somewhere it doesn’t belong… Oh, no way. No. Stop that train of thought right there, Jack.
Jack: Awww, damn.
Daniel: Get that zat away from my ass, Jack, or I swear I will hurt you.
~~~~~
Soon afterward, PCJ-459 was permanently locked out of the dialing computer, for obvious reasons.
~~~~~
Jack: Carter didn’t really destroy the Quantum Mirror, did she?
Daniel: Of course she did.
Jack: Then how do you explain this alternate you and alternate me?
Daniel: Um…Goa’uld plot?
Jack: Nope.
Daniel: Long-lost twins?
Jack: Try again.
Daniel: Appeared out of thin air?
Jack: So help me, Daniel…
Daniel: She made me promise not to tell you.
Jack: *sigh* Daniel…
Daniel: She hid it in her basement. She was hoping you wouldn’t find out.
Jack: *face/palm*
Daniel: Huh. This is gotta be the worst-dressed ‘me’ I’ve ever seen…
Jack: Jeeze, and I thought your boonie looked bad…
Daniel: A huge gun, missiles…compensating much?
~~~~~
Jack: Awww, hell, the commissary got the wrong kind of potatoes again, didn’t they?
~~~~~
Jack: I swear, we’re not letting you carry candy bars around off-world anymore.
Daniel: Heeeerrrreeee, kitty, kitty kitty…
~~~~~
Jack: No way. Teal’c would totally kick Chewie’s ass.
Han: Have you ever seen an angry Wookie before?
Jack: Can’t say that I have.
Han: Oh Chewie…
Chewie: *angry Wookie noises*
Jack: All right, you win.
~~~~~
Jack: Uh-huh. Yeah, right. I’ve heard this kinda thing before. Any minute, your eyes’ll start glowing…
~~~~~
Jack: Okay, that is the last time I let Carter near the ’gate without supervision.
~~~~~
Jack: For crying out loud, Daniel, will you put down the damned MacGyver DVDs?
Daniel: But Jaaaaack, it’s my favorite show! He’s sooooo hot. *swoons*
Jack: *face/palm*