Hooray for tuesdays...
I'm sorry in advance if you don't want to read sad and/or really emo stuff, but I need to talk about it.
My cat, Kate, is dying, and there's nothing anybody can do to save her. Just yesterday the vet found a tumor in her abdomen, and it's advanced. It's making her anemic, and she's already lost an unhealthy amount of weight. When I found out, I spent about 20 minutes crying, and I had to go to school with those splotches that say "Hey, look everybody! I cried so hard I suffered skin damage! Aren't I pitiful?" I know that it's natural to cry, but I feel... bitter about being sad. I have every reason to, but Kate's last couple weeks aren't going to be any good for her if all I do is BAAAAWWW for the duration of them. Not to mention, I don't want all the "are you okay?'s" Going around if I end up breaking down in class. It's a stupid macho way of looking at it, but god damn it, it's too hard to really think about.
I don't want to think about where we're going to bury her, I don't want to think about how long she has left. I want to live my life normally, and make Kate feel happy during her final weeks, not confuse her with a lot of extra attention or cry all the time around her (she's a cat, she doesn't like me being too excitable around her). It's just been a draining day, what with the last day before intersession being the day I have pre-calc and active BEST (where I got hit in the eye with a tennis ball), and that added on top of nobody being home at 9:00 at night but me, Ellie and Kate. Mom's out with a friend, Steve had to break the news to Danielle and Tony, and to top it all off, the zipper on my nice khakis broke when I got home. I'm just ready to go to sleep so I can start over tomorrow the right way.
I mean, if I look at it this way: Tomorrow, I have a fun intersession to go to (B-movies!) and I have my coffee, my lunch and stuff all set and ready to go, and I have Magic club (the card game -- Black and Green dredge deck FTW!). Not to mention the chance for an internship. It's not guaranteed, but if I do get it, I get to live with Fraz and co. in a Dover apartment to reduce commute! Yay! I'm really psyched abput the internship, and that's a big thing pulling me through this.
As far as Kate goes, I'm going to still live normally, and make sure to give her a pat and a kiss as the days go on. I'll deal with the tough stuff when it comes.
My cat, Kate, is dying, and there's nothing anybody can do to save her. Just yesterday the vet found a tumor in her abdomen, and it's advanced. It's making her anemic, and she's already lost an unhealthy amount of weight. When I found out, I spent about 20 minutes crying, and I had to go to school with those splotches that say "Hey, look everybody! I cried so hard I suffered skin damage! Aren't I pitiful?" I know that it's natural to cry, but I feel... bitter about being sad. I have every reason to, but Kate's last couple weeks aren't going to be any good for her if all I do is BAAAAWWW for the duration of them. Not to mention, I don't want all the "are you okay?'s" Going around if I end up breaking down in class. It's a stupid macho way of looking at it, but god damn it, it's too hard to really think about.
I don't want to think about where we're going to bury her, I don't want to think about how long she has left. I want to live my life normally, and make Kate feel happy during her final weeks, not confuse her with a lot of extra attention or cry all the time around her (she's a cat, she doesn't like me being too excitable around her). It's just been a draining day, what with the last day before intersession being the day I have pre-calc and active BEST (where I got hit in the eye with a tennis ball), and that added on top of nobody being home at 9:00 at night but me, Ellie and Kate. Mom's out with a friend, Steve had to break the news to Danielle and Tony, and to top it all off, the zipper on my nice khakis broke when I got home. I'm just ready to go to sleep so I can start over tomorrow the right way.
I mean, if I look at it this way: Tomorrow, I have a fun intersession to go to (B-movies!) and I have my coffee, my lunch and stuff all set and ready to go, and I have Magic club (the card game -- Black and Green dredge deck FTW!). Not to mention the chance for an internship. It's not guaranteed, but if I do get it, I get to live with Fraz and co. in a Dover apartment to reduce commute! Yay! I'm really psyched abput the internship, and that's a big thing pulling me through this.
As far as Kate goes, I'm going to still live normally, and make sure to give her a pat and a kiss as the days go on. I'll deal with the tough stuff when it comes.