Are all 18 year olds assholes? 'Cause it sure seems like it.
I've been mad about this for much longer than I should be so maybe if I write a pretend email here in LJ I can get some of what I'd *like* to say off my chest with out putting up insurmountable walls between me and my bitch of a sister-in-law.
The situation:
All 8 of Joe's brothers and sisters are getting together at Christmas for the first time in about 5 years. Someone decided that we need to hire a professional photographer and get pictures of everyone when we're all there together, which is a good idea. The drama started with "what to wear." If I'd been in charge I'd say everyone wear blue jeans and a solid color shirt of your choice, the only rule being no patterns. The youngest of the lot, 18 year old Beth, talked to one of her little college friends who said everyone should wear white shirts and jeans. I personally don't think that's the best idea (explained further on), and spent time at Thanksgiving trying to tell Beth that's not the best idea. When, through a chain of emails, it looked like white and blue was going to be the clothing option of choice I piped up (daring to but my in-law-opinion into the group of actual siblings) and gave examples of what I was concerned about and what I thought we should do instead.
My Email:
Hey everyone,
My dad is a professional photographer and I have some interest in the topic. So here's my somewhat-knowledgeable two cents worth: I'm concerned that with this many people in a picture having everyone in the same thing is not going to work. If we do blue jeans and white shirts what we'll end up with is a sea of blue, topped by a sea of white, and a bunch of floating heads above it all.
I spoke to my dad and he recommended putting family groups in matching colors. So, for example, Christy's family will be in red; Joe's family in blue; Wendy and the kids in purple; etc etc on down the line.
I've attached some pictures I found online showing what I mean.
1st one is a family all in white. It's not *bad* per-say, but what you get is no distinct bodies, a bunch of heads, and the random arm.
The second is what I think we should do, each family group is in a different color shirt. It breaks up the color into actual people and you can also tell who belongs with which people
Ok, I've said my piece so you guys have at it.
Emma
Beth's response that has had me pissy for the past 4 days:
Soooo then do Jim and I have our own colors??? What does Matthew do????
ONE FAMILY
ONE COLOR
WE ARE WEARING WHITE AND JEANS
SOORRRRYYYYYYY
What I'd really like to say to her but really shouldn't (because she's a spoiled little cunt who would be pissy with me for a long time and I don't want to deal with that shit):
Beth,
You are 18 and in your first semester at college. Regardless of how much you think about yourself, you are still very dependent on your parents for nearly everything. As such you would wear the same color that Becky and Jerry would wear because you are still apart of their family unit. Jim is self-sufficient and has been for over a decade. He could wear whatever he wanted to. I'm honestly not sure what Matthew would do, but seeing as that he's 13 he could probably decide for himself if he wanted to match his mom and Brian or if he wanted to match his dad and Vonnie or if he wanted to combine his parent's colors some how.**
I was not trying to be rude in my suggestion. I was only pointing out a concern that both Joe and I have had about this topic. I do not accept your apology, "SOORRRRYYYYY" is not an acceptable way to speak to me and I really do not appreciate your "yelling" at me over something like this.
Your reaction makes you sound spoiled and childish. If you wish me to accept you in the same independent light as Jim (since that's how you seem to be classifying yourself now) you need to learn how to be polite, find a job, and support yourself with out running home to mom and dad when you need to buy food because, believe it or not, independent people do that for themselves.. In short, if you want me, and anyone else, to accept you as an adult you need to Grow Up.
Emma
Hm. I'm not sure if I feel any better or not. Now that I see it all written down I sort of want to send it to her. I won't though. At least not today.
** Matthew is the son of Joe's brother, Spencer, and their oldest step-sister Renee. They were both in their 20s when the families moved in together and when Matthew was born Renee was 25 and Spencer was 22. With the exception of Beth the Bitch, none of the boys are related to the girls and none of them were raised as brother and sister (again with the exception of Beth who's 1/2 to everyone) so it's not quite so incest-ish as it might sound.