Of the long distance runner
When I think of my relationship with Ambershanks now, I reflect upon how I have grown since our first meeting. I would not exalt myself as a bull of great glory and confidence, no, but no longer does my emotional state hinge so dependently upon a pat on the head. It is more difficult for me to admit my virtues than to admit my flaws; even now, I would sooner confess that I've none of the former and many of the latter than to boast in arrogance.
Yet so, some owe their lives to me. Not simply orcs with shredded bodies or elves with grave sickness, but trees and animals and entire small areas now thrive - or at the least, survive - due to the efforts I have put in. It would be the gravest shame that I should work dawn to dusk and see no fruits of my labor, in Felwood, in Winterspring, in Zangarmarsh, in Mulgore. To confess to myself, and perhaps to Ambershanks, that I have done good for the world fills me with great pride.
So too have I grown with my mate. No longer do I depend upon him so thoroughly as does an elder a crutch. It is so that without him I would crumble, yet as such, I do not demand his attentions at every hour of day or night, I do not adhere to his opinion over every trivial matter, I do not cease functioning when he is not around. I prefer it this way, as I should think Ambershanks does, as well. He took a gamble on me, I believe, a great risk against all odds with great sacrifice. I am still far from perfect, I have much growing to do yet, but I am swelled with honor to think that he does not regret tying his life with mine. Loyalty is a virtue, but it is not enough by itself; I wish to become the mate that embodies much more, for he deserves it.
Yet so, for all the growing I have done, for all that I have accomplished and changed, there is an aspect of our relationship that I have not yet had the courage to face. It is not the vying for a child, for I truly believe that to be an issue of 'when' and not 'if'. It is something more, something that has sought to strike the bond between us more often and with more force than any other hurdle throughout our relationship.
I can no longer turn a blind eye to his wild ways, and pretend that a fundamental aspect of my love does not exist. I think now that I have the strength to do what must be done.
~Samhuinn Runetotem
Yet so, some owe their lives to me. Not simply orcs with shredded bodies or elves with grave sickness, but trees and animals and entire small areas now thrive - or at the least, survive - due to the efforts I have put in. It would be the gravest shame that I should work dawn to dusk and see no fruits of my labor, in Felwood, in Winterspring, in Zangarmarsh, in Mulgore. To confess to myself, and perhaps to Ambershanks, that I have done good for the world fills me with great pride.
So too have I grown with my mate. No longer do I depend upon him so thoroughly as does an elder a crutch. It is so that without him I would crumble, yet as such, I do not demand his attentions at every hour of day or night, I do not adhere to his opinion over every trivial matter, I do not cease functioning when he is not around. I prefer it this way, as I should think Ambershanks does, as well. He took a gamble on me, I believe, a great risk against all odds with great sacrifice. I am still far from perfect, I have much growing to do yet, but I am swelled with honor to think that he does not regret tying his life with mine. Loyalty is a virtue, but it is not enough by itself; I wish to become the mate that embodies much more, for he deserves it.
Yet so, for all the growing I have done, for all that I have accomplished and changed, there is an aspect of our relationship that I have not yet had the courage to face. It is not the vying for a child, for I truly believe that to be an issue of 'when' and not 'if'. It is something more, something that has sought to strike the bond between us more often and with more force than any other hurdle throughout our relationship.
I can no longer turn a blind eye to his wild ways, and pretend that a fundamental aspect of my love does not exist. I think now that I have the strength to do what must be done.
~Samhuinn Runetotem