Undeath (The Piña Colada Song)

[astridmyrna]

So, in my previous post about Love is in The Air, there was a joke made about Sylvanas writing in all caps about aiding the forsaken on her lovely card, which triggered something that made me slightly change the chorus of Escape (The Piña Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes.

Of course, I couldn't just mar the chorus, but the song as well! This is my Valentine's/Love is in the Air gift you, wow_ladies!



I was tired of m'malady
I had been sick so long
My doctor came and told me
that I was too far gone.

So while I lay there moanin'
A nurse came to my bed.
From a lovely card in her hand,
this was the message she read:

IF YOU LIKE PIÑA COLADAS
AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN
IF YOU'RE NOT INTO YOGA
IF YOU HAVE HALF A BRAIN
IF YOU LIKE MAKING LOVE AT MIDNIGHT
IN THE DUNES OF THE CAPE
THEN YOU'RE THE BODY WE'VE LOOKED FOR
SINCE WE CAN'T PROCREATE

I thought it sounded iffy
And just a little mean.
But me and my old body
Was so worn and falling apart at the seams--

So I wrote to the person
who sent the lovely card.
And though I'm nobody's poet
I thought it wasn't so hard:

YES I LIKE PIÑA COLADAS
AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN
I'M NOT MUCH INTO HEALTH FOOD
I AM INTO CHAMPAGNE
I'VE ONLY GOT UNTIL TOMORROW NOON
BEFORE I'M WRAPPED UP AND PACKED
IN A TOMB NAMED O'MALLEY,
WITH A SHOVEL OUT BACK.

So I waited with high hopes
then she walked in the place.
I knew the smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face.

I now serve the Dark Lady
Who gave me a new life.
Some fingers are missing
But I guess that's all right..

'CAUSE I HAVE PIÑA COLADAS
WHILE I MARCH IN THE RAIN.
I CAN BREATHE IN THE OCEAN
AND IT TASTES OF CHAMPAGNE.
AND I LIKE MAKING LOVE AT MIDNIGHT
IN THE DUNES OF THE CAPE
AND THE BEST THING ABOUT IT
IS THAT I CAN'T PROCREATE.

For those who've never heard of this song before:

Click to view