i'm about to break your fall

[lastguardian]

I looked out the window as Sunnydale went away, as my life in Sunnydale turned into distant past, and I wished it had turned out a little bit differently. I mean, I knew that Xander was going to be upset with me and I knew that Willow would probably be quietly supportive, but I definitely didn't expect Giles to be... let's just say that I'd counted

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[prodigal_slayer]

I arched an eyebrow when Angel made with the lame joke making. Like my slayer senses weren't already on fire just bein' in the same building as him. How did B deal with it all the time? Guessed she just did and now I was gonna have to do that too. I wanted it, wanted to be better, wanted to try and make up for it even if I couldn't. For him, for her, but mostly for me. Cause he was right, it'd be the shortest run I'd ever take. A few days ago that didn't seem like such a bad thing, but now someone cared about me. Maybe that was all I needed.

Please. Please. Don't let me fuck this up. Somehow I knew it was a pretty dim hope. I always managed to fuck up everything that I touched. They'd be no different. Not that there'd be any touching....or anything. Well, I mean. Why was I thinkin' about this? Must be the whiskey. Yep, the whiskey.

Sittin' down in a hard chair I watched Angel as he made another toast. Could vamps get drunk? Or did he just say stupid shit all the time? Hey, not passin' judgement or anything cause I could relate. I exchanged a look with Buffy before we both took another swig and drained our glasses.

He wasn't the only screw up in the room anyway. I mean, clearly B sorta lost the screwing up contest but she'd fucked up too, I knew she had. Couldn't hide from me.

Frowning I noticed the one bed. The one I'd slept on the day he saved me. Lookin' around I saw a couch. Ok, I could crash on the couch and the two of them could take the bed. Except that'd be weird for me, not that I cared. But they probably did. Also? The two of them gettin' bouncy meant bad Angel. Sure, that idea sorta excited me at one point but not anymore.

"Uhh....Angel? Where are we all gonna sleep?" I asked, tilting my head and givin' him an amused look.

[not_a_eunuch]

Faith's question made me smirk. It was probably the wrong reaction, but I was feeling very relaxed. Liquor was nice. Very nice. Where would we all sleep?

I looked over at the bed and back at the girls who were waiting for me to decide. Like I really had a vote where they would sleep? Weren't they both upset with me for making decisions without consulting them? Now they wanted me to make this decision.

"Bed is big enough for all three of us, but I could take the floor if it makes either of you more comfortable."

I knew it was probably the wrong answer, but what else could I suggest? We could sleep in shifts if that made them feel more comfortable. It was a big bed and it was just sleep. Why did this have to be an issue anyway? I wanted another drink.

[lastguardian]

I looked at Angel and then I looked at Faith. Then I looked at Angel again because he was being stupid. Both of his little scenarios had me and Faith laying down in the same vicinity and I didn't want to point out the obvious, but --

"She stole my body!" I exclaimed. Maybe we'd gotten off to a kind of tentative truce, but that kind of thing didn't mean anything to Faith. "And I don't know, maybe I'm making too big of a deal about this, but she stole my body!"

I slammed my glass down on his table so hard that it cracked, and I stormed over to the chair beside the bed and pointed to it. "You want to sleep? Fine. But I'm gonna watch and make sure she doesn't steal my body again."

Maybe I was being a little irrational. Faith certainly seemed sorry, but who could blame me for being a little gunshy?

[neverbeenfree]

Me, B and Soul Boy all in the same bed at the same time? Well, shit. If I'd known all I had to do was confess to the fuzz that I'd been a naughty little girl to get that to happen I woulda been all over that a long time ago. I mean, shit, wasn't that what I'd been tryin' to do all along? Not that the two of 'em had eyes for anyone except eachother.

But I already knew, already knew before she said anything that there wasn't enough booze in the whole fucking world to get B to be down with that idea. That whole bodysnatchin' boyfriend stealin' thing was still fresh on her mind and I couldn't exactly blame her, could I? 'Cept it was always easy to blame everything on her. She wouldn't accept me, wouldn't help me, turned her back on me, stabbed me in the gut. I hated her so much sometimes it threatened to take over everything that was me until only she remained.

"She's right." I amended quickly as Angel looked between the two of us helplessly. Did he really think he could smooth over everything between the two of us with a couple shots of liquor? If only it was that easy. "This....it's a bad idea." The words froze on my tongue, that words that I kept wantin' to repeat, the urge to run fast and far until I couldn't run anymore.

But I wasn't a coward. Might be weak, might be fucking stupid, might be evil and bad. But I wasn't a coward, and I hated the thought that B might see me that way.