The Green-Eyed Monster
Jealousy for me is like a sickness. I think it lies dormant in me for a while. In certain relationships, I tell myself that I can handle the reality that I don't posses any one person. They're not mine. I'm not their #1 priority and that's okay. No ... it SHOULD be okay; however, more often than not, my need for possession and my need to be of primary importance is what drives me in many relationships. Friendships or romantic relationships, it doesn't matter. Its like a desire that festers inside of me and unleashes when I start to feel like I'm losing a grasp on a relationship.
I think I have a love-hate relationship with this feeling. I'm such a Leo, and I know it. I have a great need to be highly-regarded, for attention, for PRAISE. Tell me I'm wonderful, just tell me. Tell me you're mine, tell me I'm #1. I recognize that I'm asking for this, whether directly or indirectly. In a way, I adore how I yearn for this ... its like I'm telling myself that "yea, I'm the shit, and I wanna be recognized for it!" I love how I love myself sometimes. Its just not always healthy though ... possession/jealousy I mean. Its rather immature when I feel insecure about the introduction of someone new into the lives of my friends or partners. I know, but just still haven't completely come to believe that people aren't each other's possessions.
I think I have a love-hate relationship with this feeling. I'm such a Leo, and I know it. I have a great need to be highly-regarded, for attention, for PRAISE. Tell me I'm wonderful, just tell me. Tell me you're mine, tell me I'm #1. I recognize that I'm asking for this, whether directly or indirectly. In a way, I adore how I yearn for this ... its like I'm telling myself that "yea, I'm the shit, and I wanna be recognized for it!" I love how I love myself sometimes. Its just not always healthy though ... possession/jealousy I mean. Its rather immature when I feel insecure about the introduction of someone new into the lives of my friends or partners. I know, but just still haven't completely come to believe that people aren't each other's possessions.