is this a roller coaster?
Yes, yes it is.
I do not want to go to class. For a number of reasons that alone do not add up to anything acceptible, but all combined just seem like too much for me to "suck up" and deal with or ignore right now.
Every time my Mom calls me, I cry, because she can tell I'm stressed or upset or that there's something on my mind. After my Mom called last night, I cried the whole time I was on the phone and for 5 minutes afterward, until my Uncle called, at which point I tried to talk to him but ended up crying then too for another 15 or 20 minutes, and then for 2 hours after that until Robert put me to bed to read and I cried some more in bed until I couldn't see the pages and my head throbbed. And then I fell asleep and woke up and cried a number of times throughout the night, until the last half hour of sleep which was a very graphic and strange dream, with some recurring elements and some new ones. The people I thought would be there for me weren't and the people I never imagined being there were. I almost killed a person in this dream too, which was also bad.
And now, kind of like last night but without the crying AS hard or constantly, I am tired, nautious, light headed/dizzy, shaky and my legs feel like they could collapse into a pile of runny jello at any minute.
To make a long and painful story short. Life sucks. I feel guilty a little bit. And I still don't have the balls to let him have my phone number. Address only.
I need to go read sparknotes for Mansfield Park.... And drop a class.
I do not want to go to class. For a number of reasons that alone do not add up to anything acceptible, but all combined just seem like too much for me to "suck up" and deal with or ignore right now.
Every time my Mom calls me, I cry, because she can tell I'm stressed or upset or that there's something on my mind. After my Mom called last night, I cried the whole time I was on the phone and for 5 minutes afterward, until my Uncle called, at which point I tried to talk to him but ended up crying then too for another 15 or 20 minutes, and then for 2 hours after that until Robert put me to bed to read and I cried some more in bed until I couldn't see the pages and my head throbbed. And then I fell asleep and woke up and cried a number of times throughout the night, until the last half hour of sleep which was a very graphic and strange dream, with some recurring elements and some new ones. The people I thought would be there for me weren't and the people I never imagined being there were. I almost killed a person in this dream too, which was also bad.
And now, kind of like last night but without the crying AS hard or constantly, I am tired, nautious, light headed/dizzy, shaky and my legs feel like they could collapse into a pile of runny jello at any minute.
To make a long and painful story short. Life sucks. I feel guilty a little bit. And I still don't have the balls to let him have my phone number. Address only.
I need to go read sparknotes for Mansfield Park.... And drop a class.