(no subject)
hello all of you that haven't heard from me in, i don't know, forever, it's me. i'm the guy that fell off the map. i moved. i changed. and i forgot. not you guys of course. but i did forget a lot of things. i forgot what it meant to be an individual. i forgot how to say no. that simple two letter word that keeps you out of trouble and at the same time helps keep some of your dignity....
so much has happened.... so much. alcohol, sex, the occasional marijuana. jeez it's like i make a complete 180 from who i was. i'm doing things i said i would never do. i'm getting myself mixed up in things i know aren't good for me. and now i come before you one of the most humble people you might ever know.
it's funny. during the process you always know it's a possibility. but you never think that it would actually happen. and when it does you freak out, and depending on who you are you're ready to deal with the situation. but then it happens. that thing that you weren't expecting. the one thing that is good in a way, but rips a whole in your chest. it affects everything. i'm still trying to process those words, to see if i heard wrong.
but i didn't. i know exactly what i heard now i have to deal with it. provide comfort. and move on. learn from my mistakes. and dare not to repeat them. cause i don't know if she could take that again....
i didn't even have a name for him/her.
so much has happened.... so much. alcohol, sex, the occasional marijuana. jeez it's like i make a complete 180 from who i was. i'm doing things i said i would never do. i'm getting myself mixed up in things i know aren't good for me. and now i come before you one of the most humble people you might ever know.
it's funny. during the process you always know it's a possibility. but you never think that it would actually happen. and when it does you freak out, and depending on who you are you're ready to deal with the situation. but then it happens. that thing that you weren't expecting. the one thing that is good in a way, but rips a whole in your chest. it affects everything. i'm still trying to process those words, to see if i heard wrong.
but i didn't. i know exactly what i heard now i have to deal with it. provide comfort. and move on. learn from my mistakes. and dare not to repeat them. cause i don't know if she could take that again....
i didn't even have a name for him/her.