fuck shit

[wouldyouliketon]

i have to say that this is the shittiest i've been since i've been over here. i go t into a huge fuckin arguement with my mom this morning. she just gets under my fuckin skin sometimes, it's like nothing i say matters. so i told her to never talk to me again. and i meant it.

right now i could die and i think i would mind as much. i mean i am really depressed. it's just the way thing are. things hit a high, then they dropto an all time low. it's a big let down you know. i hate it. i hate myself. i wish i could just crawl in a hole and fuckind die. i miss him. i miss him more than i should i want him back . i need him in my life. i don't believe i ever hated him. it's just that i was so mad i was blinded by it, so i called it something else. i worry about him. more than i wryy about myself. i can actually feel the tears, they're ready to just fall down my face. but they won't. i won't let them. i never do . i never cry for anything. and it's sad. i'm this emotionless sack of a person. and i hate. i think the person i really hated was myself. hated myself because i knew he was good. yeah he made his mistakes, but he made a lot of sacrifices. i just want him back. that is all

i feel like shit. sew close my eyes and empty my veins.