Stupid Things Come in Threes
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. [bartleby]
2. Mr. [bartleby's last name]
3. Um, that's it.
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. thersites78
2. eeyore1917
3. negations
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Taller than most people.
2. Good tipper.
3. Haven't killed anyone.
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Poorly organized.
2. No emotional intelligence.
3. For that matter, not nearly enough old-school intelligence.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. East-coast middle-class circular-firing-squad liberalism.
2. White skin privilege. Remember this? Oh yeah, it's cleverly put forward as satire, but it's true, I tell ya! True!
3. The tribe of those whose main social activity in their teens was playing Dungeons and Dragons.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. death.
2. abandonment.
3. losing my sight.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. glasses.
2. bus pass.
3. backup supply of nodoz (kept in the watch pocket of my jeans.)
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. knee brace
2. steel-tipped boots
3. plaid shirt
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists):
1. Elvis Costello
2. Johnny Cash
3. The Pogues
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. "Mary of the Wild Moor" Louven Brothers
2. "Thousands Are Sailing" Pogues
3. "We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to You" Kinky Friedman
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Sorry, I just don't have that much ambition.
2.
3.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. food
2. cuddling
3. backrubs (ok, this is more like three thing I want right now, relationship or no relationship. Still, they're all pretty good.)
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. By choice, I have not had a driver's license in over fifteen years.
2. My great-uncle Vic went out with Francis Farmer for a few years in the mid-thirties, until his friends in the mob told him to back off.
3. I was treasurer of the Maryland Libertarian Party for the years 1986-1988.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same, or any) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. This is impossible to answer. Individual features just aren't as important as what Alasdair Gray calls the landscape of home.
2.
3.
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Flap my arms and fly.
2. Travel back in time.
3. Say something witty when there are people around to hear it.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Bookhunting.
2. If I had more time, photography.
3. If I had more time, cooking.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Take a year's paid vacation.
2. Cook and eat a big, hot meal (and have the energy to do the former, and the appetite to do the latter).
3. Take off this knee brace, and walk all the way home tonight.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. I have jobs, not careers.
2.
3.
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Nowhere. Stay at home. I haven't explored DC nearly as much as I've wanted to.
2. Baltimore.
3. Cleveland.
THREE KID'S NAMES (this assumes, I suppose, some alternate universe where I want to have kids):
1. Nathan. Middle name "Turner" if I could get away with it.
2. Deborah.
3. Rosa.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Make a positive but not indispensable difference in the life of someone I care about.
2. See the American empire suffer an emphatic, visible, helicopters-on-the-roof defeat; preferably at the hands of forces other than religious nutjobs and/or warlord mafiosi.
3. Play some part in bringing about #2.
THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY:
1. Oh right, like there's any way of getting out of dying painfully!
2.
3.
1. [bartleby]
2. Mr. [bartleby's last name]
3. Um, that's it.
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. thersites78
2. eeyore1917
3. negations
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Taller than most people.
2. Good tipper.
3. Haven't killed anyone.
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Poorly organized.
2. No emotional intelligence.
3. For that matter, not nearly enough old-school intelligence.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. East-coast middle-class circular-firing-squad liberalism.
2. White skin privilege. Remember this? Oh yeah, it's cleverly put forward as satire, but it's true, I tell ya! True!
3. The tribe of those whose main social activity in their teens was playing Dungeons and Dragons.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. death.
2. abandonment.
3. losing my sight.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. glasses.
2. bus pass.
3. backup supply of nodoz (kept in the watch pocket of my jeans.)
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. knee brace
2. steel-tipped boots
3. plaid shirt
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists):
1. Elvis Costello
2. Johnny Cash
3. The Pogues
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. "Mary of the Wild Moor" Louven Brothers
2. "Thousands Are Sailing" Pogues
3. "We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to You" Kinky Friedman
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Sorry, I just don't have that much ambition.
2.
3.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. food
2. cuddling
3. backrubs (ok, this is more like three thing I want right now, relationship or no relationship. Still, they're all pretty good.)
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. By choice, I have not had a driver's license in over fifteen years.
2. My great-uncle Vic went out with Francis Farmer for a few years in the mid-thirties, until his friends in the mob told him to back off.
3. I was treasurer of the Maryland Libertarian Party for the years 1986-1988.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same, or any) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. This is impossible to answer. Individual features just aren't as important as what Alasdair Gray calls the landscape of home.
2.
3.
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Flap my arms and fly.
2. Travel back in time.
3. Say something witty when there are people around to hear it.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Bookhunting.
2. If I had more time, photography.
3. If I had more time, cooking.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Take a year's paid vacation.
2. Cook and eat a big, hot meal (and have the energy to do the former, and the appetite to do the latter).
3. Take off this knee brace, and walk all the way home tonight.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. I have jobs, not careers.
2.
3.
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Nowhere. Stay at home. I haven't explored DC nearly as much as I've wanted to.
2. Baltimore.
3. Cleveland.
THREE KID'S NAMES (this assumes, I suppose, some alternate universe where I want to have kids):
1. Nathan. Middle name "Turner" if I could get away with it.
2. Deborah.
3. Rosa.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Make a positive but not indispensable difference in the life of someone I care about.
2. See the American empire suffer an emphatic, visible, helicopters-on-the-roof defeat; preferably at the hands of forces other than religious nutjobs and/or warlord mafiosi.
3. Play some part in bringing about #2.
THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY:
1. Oh right, like there's any way of getting out of dying painfully!
2.
3.