(close): 2014
Inspired by fixmypapercut (hi sweetie!), I decided to have a post to conclude the year 2014... or 2557 (s/n: I recently found out the Thai calendar is that different). Choosing to revive this LJ now (after 2 years) is making me question my priorities, seeing that there's 2 assignments waiting to be done but I'd rather type about my feelings (???).
I can't say that the year flew pass since my horrible memory has already forgotten half of it. There were honestly some parts of the year that I thought went on forever. 31st Dec is not going to be much different from 1st Jan - literally a minute apart - but the new year always brings us a little more hope, doesn't it? Innately, as humans, we all have expectations.
"Maybe it's not my weekend but it's gonna be my year."
Loosely quoting from a friend, "If you've put in effort to maintain a relationship and it doesn't work out, no regrets." Relationships are so important to me and I hold dear to my heart each one that I have, even my acquaintances (aka hi-bye friends). In reality, things don't always work out the way you thought it would. I make mistakes and I guess everything happens for a reason. As much as I felt a slight improvement this year, I still need to rid the habit of dwelling on things - especially if it's something out of my control. (After all, Let It Go was sucha big hit.)
Some people get you, some people don't. Then, there's the people that think they get you. This year - more specifically so - I realized how miscommunication and misunderstandings were the root of most issues. It takes the littlest misinterpretation (so many misses??!) to make the tables turn. Ultimately, you can only fully trust yourself.
All you ever really had was yourself, and that sort of sucked if you were less than reliable. - J.P.
(glides away in sadness like Minguk)
I'd give myself a little pat on the back for being a tiny bit more level-headed, despite having a long way to go. Attempting not to let my emotions get the best of me might sound easy but it ain't for someone that sounds angry 24/7, even without meaning to (because it seems like every time I try to get my point across, sh i t goes down -). It's weird having to reassure someone that you're not angry cause' they won't buy it. I'm pretty much still an ass though, no worries - subconsciously rolling my eyes and running out of f to give - no worries. #chronicbitchface / #restingbitchface
I've lost count of the number of times I've chosen to be mum about any thoughts/feelings just because I was afraid it might affect the relationship or that I was playing the Avoid card. Ignorance is bliss, isn't it? Oh, I am aware what's happening. It's just that I'd rather not say anything since I know my inputs or intentions are futile. It's frustrating to bottle everything up but I'm working on it. Sign me up for 'How to be truthful/honest without sounding like a total bitch 101'.
Maybe in a few years I'll be able to explain things better, but after a few years it probably won't matter anymore, will it? - H.M.
I remember bro and I talking about how much we wish for 2014 to end and now it's here. (s/o to bro for being the best sibling💕 and baby bro for having Kim K's butt) In retrospect, I've hit some of my lowest points in life this year. I never expected a relapse and honestly, hated myself for falling back into such lightlessness. I learnt that time spent wallowing is time wasted. It's either I get my shit together or stay stagnant while others improve/get better. It was a huge struggle trying to pull myself back together again and I'm still trying. Positivity is key!
Some highlights of the year include starting the year at the countdown with The Wanted live, starting (and ending!!) my internship, finally meeting dhengsaeng after 5 years, LOESG, turning 19. (List goes on but not at the top of my head.)
Final year in polytechnic is definitely taking it's toll on my health. It seems like a constant test on prioritizing and balancing school, work and having (what's left of) a life. There are mixed feelings about poly life coming to an end and a little part of me doesn't want to leave. 2015 is kinda nervewrecking - turning 20, graduating and having to pave my way. In search of myself (gotta go my own waaaay), no pressure? Come what may, I believe in myself and my extensive portfolio of experiences with... shit. #faithinvern
You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with the best you have to give. - E.R
Let's hug it out guys, GROUP HUG FOR 2015.