As you may know, Chanukah is an 8-day celebration to commemorate a great miracle: A candle that was expected to burn for only one day in fact burned for eight.
I am here to report a greater miracle: On January 1, 2021, I abandoned my lifelong habit of showering with bar soap and opened a bottle of body wash. I expected that bottle to last about a month. It has been three and a half months now, and that bottle looks like it's going to make it to the end of April.
I therefore propose a four-month long celebration, to take place every year from the beginning of January until the end of April. I am looking for a name for this celebration, and some appropriate traditions. There should definitely be presents.
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