Words and Phrases I have come to despise.
There are a number of words and phrases that I absolutely cannot stand, simply because they mean something entirely different than their strict definition. Here are a few of them, and why I can't stand them.
(1) "Wonderful Opportunity" - I have never once, in my entire life, had someone utter those words to me in a sincere and truthful manner. Not ONCE. And this is from someone whom history has proven is so utterly stupid and gullible to have sold both Amway and Rainbow vacuum cleaners in the past. As soon as I hear those two words, or any similar phrase, all my proverbial alarm sirens immediately begin to wail like a submarine on dive.
(2) "Urgent Business Matter" - I actually think that this term is a registered trademark used only by collection agencies.
(3) ..."You really must understand..." - This one (and its more impassioned variations including "but you don't understand!") essentially translates to: "Why the fuck won't you agree with me?!?"
(4) "We will no longer require your services" - I hate this one because it's the absolute worst and foullest example of the euphemism treadmill that I know of. I think it's little more than a paper-thin and transparent veneer on a level of sneering contempt that I find breathtaking. I'd far rather hear: "You're fucking fired!" At least that one has a more immediate honesty to it.
(5) "Don't you trust me?" - Uhm, no.
(6) "Would I lie to you?" - You just did.
(7) "I would never hurt you." - Got it. I can expect two black eyes instead of just one.
I can think of plenty of others too, but these are enough to go on for now.
(1) "Wonderful Opportunity" - I have never once, in my entire life, had someone utter those words to me in a sincere and truthful manner. Not ONCE. And this is from someone whom history has proven is so utterly stupid and gullible to have sold both Amway and Rainbow vacuum cleaners in the past. As soon as I hear those two words, or any similar phrase, all my proverbial alarm sirens immediately begin to wail like a submarine on dive.
(2) "Urgent Business Matter" - I actually think that this term is a registered trademark used only by collection agencies.
(3) ..."You really must understand..." - This one (and its more impassioned variations including "but you don't understand!") essentially translates to: "Why the fuck won't you agree with me?!?"
(4) "We will no longer require your services" - I hate this one because it's the absolute worst and foullest example of the euphemism treadmill that I know of. I think it's little more than a paper-thin and transparent veneer on a level of sneering contempt that I find breathtaking. I'd far rather hear: "You're fucking fired!" At least that one has a more immediate honesty to it.
(5) "Don't you trust me?" - Uhm, no.
(6) "Would I lie to you?" - You just did.
(7) "I would never hurt you." - Got it. I can expect two black eyes instead of just one.
I can think of plenty of others too, but these are enough to go on for now.