What's this? Rants on Catholicism?
Why yes, yes it is. So I was listening to the Catholics* on the way into town this afternoon, as one does. Just as a disclaimer: I am not Catholic, have never been Catholic, and never will be Catholic, thanks for asking. I do not hate Catholicism any more than I hate any other religion I might believe to be flawed in many ways, and I bear actual Catholics no ill will. When I listen to Catholic radio I hear things I agree with and am glad to hear said at about the same rate as I do things I violently disagree with. The things I like do not get recounted, because, you know, they're not funny (though just in case anyone has a bad taste in their mouth, there will be a good Catholic anecdote at the end of all this). I do realize that not all Catholics subscribe to these radical views - if anything, this is a rant against the radio host, who got me on a very good roll, which I thoroughly enjoyed. If anyone does want to discuss or debate with me, I am of course very open to that. I am hazy at best at Catholic theology, mostly because I really don't care that much, but partly because I have never attended a church which has any Catholic holdovers whatsoever (no Lent, no stations of the cross, nothing), so I don't know know much about any of that.
I mean no harm, etc.
I'm going to say, categorically, that there is no Purgatory. I'm going to say that right now, and you can disagree with me all you want, but when I was baptized? I was cleansed of sin. I don't need to go to Purgatory to chill out for a few years and be, quote, "cleansed of any stain of sin that is still upon me" by the purifying fire of God's love. No! Jesus died for my sins. There is no stain of sin upon me. When I was baptized (if I was Catholic, as an infant) I was cleansed of sin, and every time that I sin after that has already been forgiven. I don't need to go to confession and I definitely don't need to go to Purgatory, because those sins that I would be "atoning" for? Have already been forgiven.
I discovered only a few weeks ago that, according to Catholicism, infants who die in childbirth or before they can be baptized are not sent to Heaven, but rather to Limbo. Now, no matter how nice Limbo may be, and I'm sure it's lovely, the fact remains that it is not Heaven. Infants, who have had neither the time nor the faculty to commit sin of any kind, are not sent to Heaven. Where they are sent instead is immaterial to me - they are denied eternity in Heaven, as though they had committed some mortal sin (which, had they been adults, would in fact have kept them out of Heaven and sent them straight to Hell, I think). Catholics do contend that infants are in fact tainted with Original Sin, which is ridiculous for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that THEY'RE INFANTS. If a child died in childbirth you are denying it Heaven - because it has the stain of Original Sin upon it - before it even has a chance to draw its first breath.
We're not even going to get into the fact that the Bible is strangely silent on the existence of Purgatory (though I think I remember a hazy mention of Limbo, it was certainly not for the purpose of coralling sinful infants). Not even.
MY SINS WERE FORGIVEN. I WAS CLEANSED OF SIN. JESUS.
Jesus.
Also, transubstantiation is a big load of bullshit. Jesus is not in your wine any more than he is in anybody else's wine, and Jesus is not not in your wine any more than he is not in anybody else's wine. The fact that the Lutherans believe that it is both the body and blood of Christ and, too, you know, just bread and wine, is ridiculous because they "don't have a valid priesthood?" What is a valid priesthood? How is your priesthood any more valid than anybody else's? Because you're the oldest church? No. I don't think so. Transubstantiation is bullshit! Somebody says Jesus is in their church and you don't believe them? "Where any of you are gathered together in my name, there I am"? Jesus is not in anybody else's communion? Nobody else has Jesus in their communion? The bread and wine he gave to the Apostles was not his body and blood! It's symbolic! Transubstantiation is a whole load of bullshit! It's ridiculous! You don't understand how the Lutherans have ever reconciled their "consubstantiation," that it's both Jesus and just bread and wine? How the fuck do you reconcile the fact that it is actually the body and blood of Christ? It never is, it never has been, it never was. It's just bread; it's just wine! It's symbolic! Jesus is there. Jesus is always there. It doesn't matter what church you're in, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters! All that matters is that you're doing this in remembrance of him. It's not his body, it's not his blood - not literally. It's just bread, it's just wine! What the fuck are you guys on about?
So apparently the Church, since the last pope came out with this new mystery of whatever, has written down a schedule for the Rosary that is wrong, that misorders the events in Jesus' life. Uhhmmm? This woman calls in and says, "Yeah, it's wrong,and I feel funny saying it, because it's wrong, so I don't do it like that, I do it this way." And the guy on the radio says, "Yeah, I know huh? You're right - it's wrong; you don't have to do it that way. I do it the way you do it; I pray this then and then I do this and yeah. It's wrong." The Rosary is wrong. How the hell does that work, exactly?
Now for the "good" rant. This was on an entirely different show, with an entirely different host. A guy called in and said he was a recovering alcoholic, had been clean for a number of years, gone through a twelve-step program and all that, but was still unable to get out from under this crushing sense of guilt that he still felt. The host said yeah, I understand what you're going through, a lot of people feel that way - even after they've apologized to everyone they've wronged and gone to confesssion, etc. and know they're forgiven, they still feel guilty. He suggested that, as a remedy, the man take time out every day to pray for those who still lacked the willpower or the ability or the resources or the support system to break free of alcoholism in the way that he had been able to.
That was one of the nicest, most understanding and loving things I've ever heard on Catholic radio, or perhaps anywhere. The fact that the host recognized that sometimes it is circumstances beyond people's control which keeps them in this situation, that sometimes, no matter how much they may want to quite, some people are just not able to - it almost brought tears to my eyes.
"The Catholic church: we've been wrong longer than anyone else." - anonymous
*For the life of me I can't find out the name of the program or the guy who hosted it. It was your average talk show: someone calls in, and this guy answers their questions. No big deal. The name of the Catholic station in Minneapolis is, ironically enough, WLOL. Heh.
Also, my cell phone has a handy voice recording feature, so these are transcribed from the rants I ranted into my phone on the way into town.
I mean no harm, etc.
I'm going to say, categorically, that there is no Purgatory. I'm going to say that right now, and you can disagree with me all you want, but when I was baptized? I was cleansed of sin. I don't need to go to Purgatory to chill out for a few years and be, quote, "cleansed of any stain of sin that is still upon me" by the purifying fire of God's love. No! Jesus died for my sins. There is no stain of sin upon me. When I was baptized (if I was Catholic, as an infant) I was cleansed of sin, and every time that I sin after that has already been forgiven. I don't need to go to confession and I definitely don't need to go to Purgatory, because those sins that I would be "atoning" for? Have already been forgiven.
I discovered only a few weeks ago that, according to Catholicism, infants who die in childbirth or before they can be baptized are not sent to Heaven, but rather to Limbo. Now, no matter how nice Limbo may be, and I'm sure it's lovely, the fact remains that it is not Heaven. Infants, who have had neither the time nor the faculty to commit sin of any kind, are not sent to Heaven. Where they are sent instead is immaterial to me - they are denied eternity in Heaven, as though they had committed some mortal sin (which, had they been adults, would in fact have kept them out of Heaven and sent them straight to Hell, I think). Catholics do contend that infants are in fact tainted with Original Sin, which is ridiculous for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that THEY'RE INFANTS. If a child died in childbirth you are denying it Heaven - because it has the stain of Original Sin upon it - before it even has a chance to draw its first breath.
We're not even going to get into the fact that the Bible is strangely silent on the existence of Purgatory (though I think I remember a hazy mention of Limbo, it was certainly not for the purpose of coralling sinful infants). Not even.
MY SINS WERE FORGIVEN. I WAS CLEANSED OF SIN. JESUS.
Jesus.
Also, transubstantiation is a big load of bullshit. Jesus is not in your wine any more than he is in anybody else's wine, and Jesus is not not in your wine any more than he is not in anybody else's wine. The fact that the Lutherans believe that it is both the body and blood of Christ and, too, you know, just bread and wine, is ridiculous because they "don't have a valid priesthood?" What is a valid priesthood? How is your priesthood any more valid than anybody else's? Because you're the oldest church? No. I don't think so. Transubstantiation is bullshit! Somebody says Jesus is in their church and you don't believe them? "Where any of you are gathered together in my name, there I am"? Jesus is not in anybody else's communion? Nobody else has Jesus in their communion? The bread and wine he gave to the Apostles was not his body and blood! It's symbolic! Transubstantiation is a whole load of bullshit! It's ridiculous! You don't understand how the Lutherans have ever reconciled their "consubstantiation," that it's both Jesus and just bread and wine? How the fuck do you reconcile the fact that it is actually the body and blood of Christ? It never is, it never has been, it never was. It's just bread; it's just wine! It's symbolic! Jesus is there. Jesus is always there. It doesn't matter what church you're in, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters! All that matters is that you're doing this in remembrance of him. It's not his body, it's not his blood - not literally. It's just bread, it's just wine! What the fuck are you guys on about?
So apparently the Church, since the last pope came out with this new mystery of whatever, has written down a schedule for the Rosary that is wrong, that misorders the events in Jesus' life. Uhhmmm? This woman calls in and says, "Yeah, it's wrong,and I feel funny saying it, because it's wrong, so I don't do it like that, I do it this way." And the guy on the radio says, "Yeah, I know huh? You're right - it's wrong; you don't have to do it that way. I do it the way you do it; I pray this then and then I do this and yeah. It's wrong." The Rosary is wrong. How the hell does that work, exactly?
Now for the "good" rant. This was on an entirely different show, with an entirely different host. A guy called in and said he was a recovering alcoholic, had been clean for a number of years, gone through a twelve-step program and all that, but was still unable to get out from under this crushing sense of guilt that he still felt. The host said yeah, I understand what you're going through, a lot of people feel that way - even after they've apologized to everyone they've wronged and gone to confesssion, etc. and know they're forgiven, they still feel guilty. He suggested that, as a remedy, the man take time out every day to pray for those who still lacked the willpower or the ability or the resources or the support system to break free of alcoholism in the way that he had been able to.
That was one of the nicest, most understanding and loving things I've ever heard on Catholic radio, or perhaps anywhere. The fact that the host recognized that sometimes it is circumstances beyond people's control which keeps them in this situation, that sometimes, no matter how much they may want to quite, some people are just not able to - it almost brought tears to my eyes.
"The Catholic church: we've been wrong longer than anyone else." - anonymous
*For the life of me I can't find out the name of the program or the guy who hosted it. It was your average talk show: someone calls in, and this guy answers their questions. No big deal. The name of the Catholic station in Minneapolis is, ironically enough, WLOL. Heh.
Also, my cell phone has a handy voice recording feature, so these are transcribed from the rants I ranted into my phone on the way into town.