(no subject)
I am so sick of being sick. Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier being dead. I mean, I know it's wrong to think of suicide, but I think of it often. It's like the worst sin you can commit to your God. I don't want to go to Hell, but I'm just so tired of feeling this way. I got up this morning, all ready to go to school, I walked into the Kitchen, and I almost fell down. Not because I slipped or anything, but because I was so dizzy. My Mom told me that I was most likely dehydrated again, she gave me water and sent me back to bed. I was so mad, because I actually wanted to go to school today, so I'm just not doing good all together. I mean, I lost the love of my life and I'm sick as hell. I don't want to take it anymore... I'm so sick right now, and I don't think that anyone really truly knows how bad I am. I'm just about dead, and I just want to die. I know it sounds horrible, but it's how I feel. I cry myself to sleep every night, and I can't help the fact that I don't go to bed at night, so it's very rare that I ever sleep. I don't know..I'm just really...really...tired of it all.
I left this entry public because I felt like it.
--Kayla--
xxx