so, i guess i am just...

[worthlessregret]

you know.
lately i have been thinking.
i really love keith a lot.
and i am super glad we are together.
but with the luck with friend that i have had lately...
i miss jenny.
until i fucked up she didnt judge me.
we bitched and got mad at each other occassionally,
but we managed to always work it out.
i never felt used by her,
nor did i ever feel like i used her.
she may disagree...
but that isnt the point.
the point is that, i guess technically we were never best friends by definition...
but we knew eachother better than anyone.
she was there when i needed her and there when i pushed her away.
i was the same for her.
i wish sometimes that we could at least just talk again.
like now when i feel my friends or people i thought were my friends are being bitches
like now when i feel used and just need someone to dance with in the halls.
like now when i am happy and have a boyfriend who i feel comfortable with
like now when i hear she is happy, or at least starting to smile again.
do i have regrets? some
but i only did what i thought was best.
and i hope that she did too.
i look back and now i can remember the good things.
i just wish she would remember the good things rather than blocking me out ompletely
well maybe she hasnt maybe she still hates me
for this i am sorry.
that sometimes i am stupid.