no one can know just how she feels....
i find myself reliving my freshamn and softmore years over again. something i never wanted to do but i simply cannot escape the wrath of myself. by far this is the worst week ever. im falling behind in school. i dont know what i want to do with the rest of my life anymore. i went from so sure to prob another statstic. i got my ipod stolen. that really blows. why is no one in this world honest and have the slightest amount of integrity? then on top of that i gotta deal with my over-hormonal mom and a way too stressed dad that takes it out on the rest of us. i have to get out of here but where i have to go i dont think i want to go anymore. i dunno. i gotta finish high school first. but daily i find myself have a lack of motavation and detirmination. i need to get a job to buy a freaking new ipod but i cant get one unitl i finish school. and i want to be a personal trainer and have a guarenteed spot but i gotta get certified which is $400! and my parents of course are not going to pay for that. it sucks growing up in only a few selected areas and your parents make it impossible to live. i have to pay for everything on my own now, yet im not allowed to get a job. it makes no sense. and of course i always feel that anything i do will never be good enough for my parents because i gotta be compared to my sister who is brilliant and in law school. and my brother who is brilliant and could do anything he wanted if he wasnt so lazy and got his ass out of the house for a day. I'm trying to get back into my dancing and it sucks so bad to suck again. to not be the best in your class. i feel like im learning te basics again. and because i suck i dont wanna go. especially where i ahve to deal with a bunch of self absorbed girls who wouldnt know the meaning of hard work if it slapped them in their face. They're daddy's little girl adn can get anything they want. whatever someday i'll come out on top. in short I am lost and dont wanna be around anymore. it would be so much easier to just move and not tell anyone where i am. hmmmmm so tempting