"Freedom is another way of saying..."
I've been thinking a lot lately about the fact that most of my life is made up. I've lived out more of my life in my head than I've actually lived in... erm...reality? I think maybe that is contributing to my difficultly in dealing with people... I create whole scenarios I imagine them going through, and then react to them as if these things had happened...
Fuck, I don't know... I'm tired, and I'm giving up on the idea of ever developing normal, healthy relationships with other human beings. My idea of another person and the actual person seem to be so different...
I wish I could talk to people like a human being and not a conscious mirror... and I wish I could tell someone about all the strange things I think without scaring them away... and I wish I didn't feel alone...
Mother of god, I am seventeen...
Fuck, I don't know... I'm tired, and I'm giving up on the idea of ever developing normal, healthy relationships with other human beings. My idea of another person and the actual person seem to be so different...
I wish I could talk to people like a human being and not a conscious mirror... and I wish I could tell someone about all the strange things I think without scaring them away... and I wish I didn't feel alone...
Mother of god, I am seventeen...